Dressing like a slut

I've never understood the idea of wearing sexy clothing but not for the purpose of sexually attracting others. I can't speak for anyone else, but I spend a grand total of less than 10 minutes in front of the mirror each, and most of that time I'm either naked or in my pajamas. So why would someone dress after a particular fashion just for their own sake when they'll be spending the vast, vast, vast majority of the day not looking at themselves?

If you're not trying to make people view you a certain way, then the only real motivator for what to wear should be comfort, and for most people anything tight enough to be considered sexy isn't too comfy.

"Bee. Effin' Ess. Everyone has the inalienable right to set the limits of a sexual encounter wherever they want. There is no point at which it magically becomes "unfair" to the partner not to go further, or "only to be expected" that the partner will try to forge ahead without consent."

I think you may have missed the part where I said rape should always be penalized, but that rape following consensual foreplay isn't of the same caliber as that which is committed upon a person unwilling from the start.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Your Twilight Sparkle facepalm avatar goes so well with that post.

That I am male does not mean I should expect to speak for males in my feelings and attitudes.

What Raven said. If you're dressing to attract attention, don't get so upset when you get attention. I've seen entirely too many girls threaten to get a guy kicked out of a club for ogling her when she's dressed sort of like this.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Whether you like it or not, you will be judged depending on how you dress yourself.

Just repeating what other people have said: nobody has the right to rape anyone else, or to grope them without their consent; skimpy clothing != consent; clothing that emphasizes private parts = implied consent to ogle, but it's rude to keep ogling if you're told to stop; girls who don't want to be ogled by ugly guys shouldn't go out in public in ridiculous outfits, but, again, rape is an entirely different matter.

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

Depends on who it is. Aon, I am most definitely reporting*

^{to my wife, at least.}

Not as often as I'd like.

As for the clothing issue, skimpy clothing is consent to being ogled, nothing more. Don't like having ugly guys stare at you, then don't dress like a slut. Or somehow work out a way to never ever be in eyesight of ugly guys, but I think that's more effort than your average skank is willing to put in.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

...you will report me to your wife? If this means what my horrible brain thinks it does then I AM INTRIGUED.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah

I'm a person and I shouldn't be treated like a sex object.

I wouldn't report her to my tall wife. She might get evil idea that Aon wouldn't like. I like Aon and prefer her alive :P

Basically I am seeing if you dress in a manner that is designed to attract attention expect attention possibly attention of oggling you may not want.

We can all pretty much agree dressing a certain way does not consent to sexual assault in any form.

Kino: Get back on your corner and earn that money.

edited 11th Jun '11 8:25:13 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Who watches the watchmen?

I can't help it if I have sex appeal!

Um, no. Assault is assault. No actually does mean no...even if you already said "yes" to something else related. There is no chain of inevitability—when the person says "Let's stop there," you stop there. Continuing past that point against their will is just as bad as starting out against their will.

No, not really, it isn't. I, as a woman, find it very hard to think clearly and withdraw in the heat of the moment, and I will not fault a man for having correspondingly low levels of self control. Yes, some reparation is due, but the crime is not equivalent to plying a woman with tequila until she is too drunk to say no.

edited 11th Jun '11 10:30:19 PM by kashchei

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

I'm amazed at how many people in this thread seem to have trouble with the idea that wearing clothes that say "I want people to look at me" is not the same as wearing clothes that say "I want you to insert your penis in my orifices."

And yeah, "slutty" is a highly subjective term when it comes to clothing.

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@kash: agreed.

@Drak: I'm amazed that you don't draw a distinction between looking and touching.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I agree. It's as if they think women are supposed to dress like bag ladies or else they'll get groped for exposing too much skin or something.

edited 11th Jun '11 10:54:22 PM by LilPaladinSuzy

Would you kindly click my dragons?

I'm amazed at how many people in this thread seem to have trouble with the idea that wearing clothes that say "I want people to look at me" is not the same as wearing clothes that say "I want you to insert your penis in my orifices."

By how many, you mean one, right?

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Neo

Would you kindly click my dragons?

Exactly, he's the only one who's suggested a correlation between clothing and rape.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

If you look provacative, don't blame a guy for lookin'. Anything further depends on the context of the woman's behavior since, on its face, merely looking good shouldn't be an excuse to touch/rape.

Like a lot of the issues of sexism and racism, I think that people shouldn't focus on whether rape is sexist or not, but merely focus on the fact that it's bad.

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

I am sorry but if someone says stop you stop no exception. Nothing is owed other then maybe an apology and possibly an explanation.

Who watches the watchmen?

If some instances of rape are predicated on sexism, which you'll find they are, something can indeed be gained by improving men's conception of women as human beings equal in rights and faculties to males.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Agreed.

First of all, they need to understand that rape is not about sex. It's not about attraction. It's not about arousal. Rape is about power. Period. A rapist believes that he is entitled to something, and believes that he is justified in doing whatever he is able in order to get that thing.

Second, the vast majority of rape victims are victims of people that they know, not just random strangers who hide in the shrubbery waiting for somebody with high heels and a miniskirt to walk by. A very few attackers are, but most are somebody the victim knows.

Third, women need to be aware of the situations where they are likely to be assaulted, just like everybody else. People should stay away from dangerous neighborhoods, and avoid situations where they are likely to get hurt. That's just plain sense.

Finally, there's no such thing as "dressing like a slut". A "slut" can be anybody. Dressing provocatively or sexily is not dressing like a "slut". People do judge one another based on their appearance. Everybody does this. Women and men need to understand this and take it into account when they choose what they wear. It probably isn't fair, but that's just another rule of social interaction.

<Steps down from soapbox>

edited 12th Jun '11 12:11:17 AM by Lawyerdude

What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly.