The office: Chatter about your job

A professor just asked me if I can visit him next week to "discuss" about a paper I sent him a while ago (and which I submitted to a journal a few days ago). I am going into a paranoia overdrive — does it mean that he liked it? That he found a serious mistake? Or what?

Aargh. I know that I will sound like a klutz, but I think that I'll send him an email agreeing to the meeting, and asking if he has found errors as I just submitted it. Better looking stupid now than looking stupid later, I say.

That sounds like the best way to handle it. I always hated that "summoned by the boss"-paranoia, and I never figured out how to kick it myself.

All right, he responded, saying "it's nothing negative, I just want to discuss it". Whew.

Some more detail would have been nice, but chances are that I won't have to shave my head and moustache in shame then

edited 9th Mar '12 10:18:28 AM by Carciofus

I got fifty bucks for doing fuck all today.

So, back at work, had a long week, forgot how difficult 8 hours of physical labor could be.

Discovered a slight but significant flaw in the laminate beams we ordered; this flaw basically ruins them appearance-wise, so we're talking to the manufacturer and seeing what our options are. We can A: return them and get new ones (which means we'll eat the check on the labor we've already put into them), or B: fix the beams and bill the supplier for the time (which they might or might not go for).

This blows. Everything was going smoothly this week until we found this crap.

edited 9th Mar '12 8:00:51 PM by drunkscriblerian

Back in Elementary school, I got randomly called to the front office without explanation. I sat in the waiting area for what seemed like hours trying to figure out what sort of trouble I was in.

Then the principal came out and gave me the book my mom had loaned her.

^ I know. Somebody in charge says "I need to talk to you", and raging paranoia sets in. It's even worse when you walk into their office and they say "Close the door."

And then they show you their new tattoo...

Or tell you they're giving you a raise.

I work at for-profit college. We do career training- medical assistant, etc. My job is to help graduates find work, and while it is rewarding when we get them placed, sweet GOD some of them are awful. Half my time is spent trying to get them to call me back so I can help them find a job. Did I mention that they don't have to pay for me to help them? So yeah. Free job-finding help, and most of my grads won't call back.

Or reveal that there is a small ufo outside that says "illyuomp".

wisewillow: I did time as an administrator at a for-profit about 8 years ago. It is a whole different world.

I know, right? On the one hand, some of our students do benefit and get a career they love. But a pretty sizeable chunk seem like they're willing to screw themselves with student loans, but not study or do a damn thing to make themselves employable. And then they blame the school. *Headdesk*

What's that UFO reference? I read "small UFO outside that says" and thought of the Dick Van Dyke Show episode where Rob sees one that says "Uhny Utz".

edited 9th Mar '12 9:26:17 PM by TParadox

That was the exact reference except I remember it as "Illyump"

All the sources I noticed online have Uftz instead of Utz, but I'm certain the DVD set said Utz.

It often did sound more like ilyump, though.

edited 9th Mar '12 9:34:16 PM by TParadox

My other favorite was "Spooky Camera" and I'll accept Uhny untz

edited 9th Mar '12 9:35:36 PM by blackcat

"It sounded like... Sonny Tufts."

I'm just an unpaid intern, but this past week I've been schlepping my boss' things to court.

This individual is the most ghastly defense attorney ever. They intimated a relationship between the plaintiff and one of the character witnesses, an old guy from Bay Ridge who looks like Jerry Orbach, based solely on the basis that she used to come over to watch cable in HD. With all the subtlety of a brick to the face, she kept turning to the jury and repeating lasciviously, "cable in Ach-Deeeee."

I know jack about law, and this defense couldn't have gone worse if I were leading it.

edited 13th Mar '12 6:16:47 PM by johnnyfog

Sent a resume to $GOVERNMENTAGENCY for full time work. Should be doing freelance work right now. Dicking around on TV Tropes instead.

I just spent an hour filling out an application that may never be seen by a human, because they have a "three years' professional experience" requirement, and of their choices, my experience is "clinical/intern". I'm applying anyway because otherwise, I think I'm qualified, and it's the kind of work I'm betting someone with three years' experience is likely to scoff at.

Then I get to the references page. "IPS automatically sends a confidential online survey to all references."

Do I throw away all the work I put into filling out the questionnaire, or do I harass a few colleagues over a job I have pretty much no hope of getting?

Crazy Customer time!

A lady came to my register holding a Target card and a bank debit card and asked "if I want to use my Target card with debit, do I have to also use my other card?"

Me: "The Target card is a method of payment. The discount is 5% off of whatever amount you pay through the card."

Her: "So if I need debit I can't use it?"

Me: "I guess so."

She started to pay with her bank debit. At this point, I've assumed she has a Target credit card. We have credit-only and debit-only specialized Target cards.

Me: "So you have a Target credit card, but you want to use one as a debit card?"

Her: "Well, why don't you tell me what I have?"

(Pulls out a Target credit and a Target debit card)

Me: "Oh! This is a debit card."

Her: "So can I use that, or is it too late?"

(I cancel her debit payment)

Me: "no, it's not too late. Go ahead and swipe it."

Her: "It took the discount off, so the card is good, right?"

Me: "we'll see."

(card is denied by her bank.)

Me: "no, the card was declined, you'll have to use your bank card."

(she starts paying with her bank card)

Her: "But it must have worked, the customer-side screen still shows the discounted amount!"

Me: (un-discounted total)

Her: "so then what's the point of the Target card?!"

Me: "Your Target card was denied by your bank. If it hadn't, the card would have taken five percent off. But the fact it didn't work is between you and your bank, and I can't do anything about it."

Break a leg.

My boss is nice little old lady, but as a lawyer, I'm not sure she's living in reality.

Jurors roll their eyes at questions = interpreted as "sympathetic look"

Witness' face is red from a chest cold = interpreted as "flustered"

Judge makes faces at idiotic questions - GROUNDS FOR MISTRIAL!

I'm giving a test and a student comes in late. I hand her the test and soon she is the only student left in the class. She looks up from the test and says to me: "I went and saw Gypsy this weekend. Until I took this class I didn't really appreciate what they were doing, but now I do. I think I want my children to be exposed to theatre."

And that Ladies and Gentleman is why I do what I do.

^ D'aaaawwwwww.