Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

Is that another Frankenstein pun? Since Pierre becomes Peter which becomes Stone which becomes Stein? Or is it something else that I'm not getting?

In my case at least, I didn't get to reveal the joke in session, but our GM I'm pretty sure jokingly said if I had it would have been rocks fall everyone dies. (It was over text chat, so kind of hard to 100% gauge the intent of the statement) So maybe not 100% appropriate that I posted it here.

Click Click Boom Boom

"Francis" comes from the same root as "frank". And "pierre" means "stone" in french (and is a name too).

edited 22nd Jul '15 12:40:05 PM by Aetol

Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore

@2301 Yeah, you got it. I considered going with Dr. Francois Pierre, but I thought that'd be overdoing it with the French.

Which reminds me, I'm also not allowed to overdo it with the French at the table - nobody else majored in it.

Reminder: Offscreen Villainy does not count towards Complete Monster.

no more suggestions of adding a shambling krenshar into the goblin army, no matter how compelling my argument

"well we dont want the goblins to seem like bigots, so let's add some others into the army, for diversity! maybe a shambling kre-" "No, we arent adding shambling krenshars"

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

What's a shambling krenshar?

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."

basically a bipedal krenshar lacking the ability to pull back the skin on its head, and with scruffier fur, also the fur usually has plant matter stuck to it. and sometimes they learn how to speak.

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

So... a Krenshar with the thing that makes them unique replaced with some leaves and a bad hair cut? And also it's slightly anthropomorphic for some reason?

"Canada Day is over, and now begins the endless dark of the Canada Night."

you look up shambling krenshar in images and see if you find a better one, my statement still stands though about me not being allowed to get them into the goblin army.

hence why im not allwed to suggest them, other players wouldn't know what they were at first.

edited 25th Jul '15 10:47:06 AM by Alucart23

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

Can't find any image in Google. Searching for "shambling krenshar" mostly gives results related to "4 Gregs", whatever that is. This very thread is on the first result page, to give you an idea of how uncommon that particular combination of words is.

Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore

• If my superhero's flotation device floats those it affects to the surface of the ocean at 1,000,000 mph, I am no longer allowed to call it a "life preserver."
• I must not make a superhero whose power is teleporting people to a run-down factory in Detroit.
  • Even as a supervillain, he's too evil.

...and that's terrible.

Not allowed to make koolaid jokes when dealing with an Azatoth cult.

Apocalypse: Dirge Of Swans.

• no more use of barmaids as human shields when challenged to a dual by a knight, or anyone else for that matter.
• i must take full steps for a ten paces then fire dual, no quick baby steps.
• I cannot make an elf/orc hybrid, and all attempts to do so will fail horribly for everyone involved. same goes with anything that isnt a human, elf, orc, dragon, or outsider, and a gnome. And punting of said gnomes isn't considered a proper response.

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

@2311 What?! Not even when they summon him, causing the whole world to end as he bursts through the wall and goes "Oh Yeah!"?

Side note, this now has me wanting to depict the Kool-Aid Man as having an endless sea of stars, and replacing his eyes with one big honking eye, and having fun with that. No way that can go wrong, right?

@2312 I've never been sure whether the biggest question in fantasy gaming is why certain creatures do hyrbridize so readily, or why other creatures don't. I'm almost relieved that Pathfinder specifically says that the vast majority of hybrid creatures (like half-dragons) are due to magical experimentation. Though that still leaves questions about half-orcs and half-elves.

Reminder: Offscreen Villainy does not count towards Complete Monster.

I'm not allowed to reference books the GM has not read but the rest of the party has (including his wife) either in effort to explain what I think is going on, guess at what's going to happen, plot behind his back, or convince him to read them.

Got a degree in Emotional trauma via fictional characters aka creative writing. hosting S'mores party in Hell for fellow (evil) writers

Not me specifically, but my old gaming group wasn't allowed to spend more than five minutes using trigonometry to figure out the ideal spell placement.

@2315 My group has praised my grasp of the Pythagorean theorem specifically because it takes me significantly less time than that to calculate ideal spell placement.

Important things to remember - the square root of 2 is approximately 1.4, the square root of 3 is approximately 1.7, and the square root of 5 is approximately 2.2. You can worry about more precise values if your calculations are pretty close, though even then, three significant figures gives plenty of accuracy in terms of gaming purposes.

I've yet to do calculus at the gaming table, although I've threatened to once when the phrase "impossible geometries" came up. Look, is it my fault that I remember the relations between area and volume, and thus their applicability for impossible shapes?

Reminder: Offscreen Villainy does not count towards Complete Monster.

also, punting of gnomes in general isn't considered proper conduct, unless the gnome is fighting me. even then it's still not considered very sporting by the more lawful party members.

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

In your standard fantasy setting, humanity may claim that its Hat is being adaptable or varied or some vanilla bullshit like that, but the truth is our schtick is being genetically compatible with just about anything that can make the parts line up. We're basically Asari with more genders and skin tones. We may be average and boring at everything else, but we are motherfucking masters at the dance of sperm and egg. It's why orcs and elves can interbreed with humans but not anything else, it's why whenever you hear "Half-X" you know what the other half is, and it's probably why aasimars and tieflings always look human.

edited 27th Jul '15 5:25:07 PM by rikalous

"We're basically Asari with more genders and skin tones."

...Genius.

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

I'm no longer allowed to have Create Water because I accidentally killed 2 party members with it.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody remembers it, who else will you have ice cream with?

And some things that can't. Where do you think Merfolk came from?

"Canada Day is over, and now begins the endless dark of the Canada Night."

i cant use that spell because ive ended several encounters that way, fire elementals, iron golems, and vampires.

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

The Sailors' Guild has very politely asked me to stop discussing that.

Funny thing, in Xanth the thing you're implicating is the canonical source of critters like merfolk, centaurs, and harpies. Love/lust-inducing springs were involved.

To be fair, in D&D, dragons were the explicit kings of the horizontal mambo, because not only could they hybridize with everything, they could all learn polymorph spells. Humans could mate with anything that could line up with their genitals; dragons can guarantee that their genitals will line up.

Also, strictly speaking, orcs were also remarkably fecund - take a quick plunge into the Monster Manual, and you'd discover a ton of creatures that were some combination of orc and another golbinoid (or orge).

To the topic of the thread, last night, I came so close to getting a blanket ban (along with another player) from doing the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine. I'm an elven bard with maxed diplomacy, she's a half-orc fighter on an intimidate build. Together, we get crap done. Perhaps a little too well; just the threat of us doing that routine got the GM to have the NPC agree to our demands.

Reminder: Offscreen Villainy does not count towards Complete Monster.

Alucart: now, stuff like "you can't use that spell!" from G Ms rubs me the wrong way. If it's in my goddamn spell book I'll use it. Sounds like you just found creative uses for it, and the GM threw a fit like a child.