Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

@GMH: I approve of this. Calvin would be the best tabletop gamer ever.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)

Of course not. It should be at least a +4.

I am no longer allowed to taunt the halfling about the benefits of acupuncture after delivering the killing blow with my rapier.

I am not allowed to successfully Intimidate the Halruaan mageocracy, even when a natural 20 gives me a total of 36.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

I want to take the heating jar and switch it so it only lets heat out. It will always be as cold as the coldest environment it was placed in! I will be able to throw away refrigeration devices and instantly chill sodas!

...and that's terrible.

You're welcome to take the idea if you want. Just know that crafting such a magic item is extremely dangerous, because the enchantment ritual requires you to sell your soul to Maxwell's Demon. :P

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)

You, sir, win a masterwork Large deep crystal inter-net.

Smile for me!

Man, all these make me want to play tabletop RP Gs.

@Mark: it's not always this awesome. It is sometimes though.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I know. I just wish my 40k group hadn't scattered because then we could've played Deathwatch, Dark Heresy, or Rogue Trader.

When the GM says that moving figurines on the battlemap is like chess, I am not allowed to tell him, "You can't undo that move, you already took your hand off the mini."

When the blinded opponent has missed me for ten rounds in a row, I am not allowed to attempt a Slight of Hand roll to switch his sword for a fan.

When the new party member asks if she is allowed to hit on the necromancer, I am not allowed to answer "yes" for him while he's not paying attention.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

The gods don't live in my thumb, and any gods that do live in my thumb don't want to give me any spells.

Somehow you know that the time is right.

I may never play an expy of Fionn Mac Cumhaill again. It steals the spotlight.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-

AHEM.

Exe: my word, that is awesome and any GM who forbids that should be roundly smacked in the stones with a walking stick.

Mark: This is a self-imposed rule. Totally has nothing to do with a plot point, people who are playing with Kyle.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-

"Runs-Like-Bitch" is not a traditional name in any native culture in any setting.

Somehow you know that the time is right.

I assume "Screams-Like-Little-Girl" and "Hides-Under-Bed" were taken.

As a computer science major, I'm no longer allowed to play any class that has skills related to computers in a Sci-Fi setting anymore.

It was fun while it lasted?

The emotions of others can seem like such well guarded mysteries, people 8egin to 8elieve that's how their own emotions should 8e treated.

Exe: dude, poor call on your end.

You'd have to have played old Werewolf to get most of these....

• I am not allowed to put silver nitrate in an aerosol can and market it to fellow P Cs as "Garou-B-Gone"
  • And no, it does not come in "lemon-fresh scent".
• "NAPALM STICKS TO KIDS!" is not an acceptable Get of Fenris warcry.
  • Even if it is true.
• The Gift "Lick Wounds" does not receive a bonus OR a penalty even if the injury was inflicted by a Black Fury.
• Baseball bats, hockey sticks, chainsaws and golf clubs are not appropriate material for fashioning Klaives.
  • Even if I am playing a Bone Gnawer.
    • Especially if I am playing a Bone Gnawer from Queens.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

• My Saurton Bodyguard is not allowed to eat stormtroopers.
  • Or Hutts.
  • Or Darth Vader.
  • Or gangsters.
  • Rule of thumb: If it's sentient, I can't eat it.
    • Unless it's a Gungan.
    • Okay, fine, but I have to wait for them to bleed out first.

...and that's terrible.

I am no longer allowed to make 'Yo momma!' jokes when using Vicious Mockery.*

• Just because I can imitate most Noble Phantasms with Awakened magic does not mean I should.
• My Free Council Moros Thread-Cutter is not Kiritsugu Emiya.

You've lost. You're the Bomb Squad after the bomb's gone off. I'm the blast ongoing.

I am not allowed to have a level 1 monk with thrice the move speed of the rest of the party.

:smug:

What? Dude, that's the point of a monk.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-

Yes, but when I can cross half a dungeon in one move turn and you guys are just skipping along? There's a REASON he's reading that book.

:smug: