-Ever and Breeze are chilling out in Undella Town-

Breeze: <Hey, can I borrow your phone? I want to play Minesweeper.>

Ever: My phone doesn't have Minesweeper.

Breeze: <I can install it.>

Ever: Fine.

-he hands over his phone. Breeze takes it and floats away-

Ever: ...Wait. Diesel, my eyes were closed. Was that Breeze?

Diesel: <Yeah.>

Ever: Fuckity shit.

---

Breeze: <Ooh, a text!>

-PEFE!Every stares at the text, and her eyes glaze over-

PEFE!Every: Right.

---

Ever: Hey, Breeze?

Breeze: <'Sup?>

Ever: Why are there Dunsparce in armor marauding through the streets of Nimbasa? We talked about this.

Breeze: <I may or may not have hypnotized PEFE!Every over a text.>

Ever: We talked about that too.

Breeze: <Kneel.>

Ever: Never!

Breeze: <Then you will be made to.>

-Breeze's eyes glow. Ever's eyes glow as well, and he drops to his knees-

Breeze: <Finally! Ever, PEFE!Every, ready the Dunsparce Cannon!>

PEFE!Every: I still don't quite understand why you're calling it that. It is neither powered by Dunsparce nor does it fire them.

Ever: It is not for us to question.

-PEFE!Every and Ever point the cannon straight down-

Breeze: <Finally, I'll be able to access the world's untapped nickel reserves.>

-the cannon fires-

-there is no planet here anymore-

-is there any point in a location tag, really?-

edited 15th Dec '17 12:11:50 PM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Aspertia Pokemon Center:

For several minutes, Mark would spend some time on his Chattr account, both posting a status update on having caught a new pokemon while also preparing to take on the first gym leader of Unova, as well as reflecting upon earlier moments in his life. Most of which unsurprisingly were chronicles of his life goal to become the World Champion, however several posts mainly depicted him, Chopper, and other members of his pokemon team showing off or just enjoying each other's company. Despite his efforts though, Mark didn't have much of a fanbase beyond 70 followers, although there were several reasons for this. Firstly, he didn't know how to promote himself, not to mention that he had limited Internet access, and as a result was infrequent and irregular with his postings. There was also the fact that even though he had beaten two regional leagues, the fact that there were so many trainers out there that have won championships before, it wasn't nearly as much of an accomplishment as it might have been long ago. Still, 70 followers was better than none, and Mark was more concerned about proving to himself what he could accomplish anyway.

Eventually as he opened another tab, he noticed a recommended article regarding the J-Team and decided to look into it, recalling the gist of what Umbra had mentioned earlier.

Living The Fever Dream

Unova Route 6

-Mako and Corrin are in a clearing.-

Mako: <All right, princess, first lesson! There's three contexts battles take place in. Training in the wild for strength, putting your skills to the test against other Trainers, or survival. If you're fighting for your life or trying to hunt for food or whatever, that's where you're gonna want to be brutal, it's totally fine. Nature at work. Always fun.>

Corrin: <I don't think I've gotten a chance to eat since I arrived...>

Mako: <...Lemme go raid Mason's bag for some Basculin filets. You like Basculin, or is your refined princess palate too good for it?>

-Corrin huffs.-

Corrin: <Just because I was a princess doesn't mean I was stuck-up! I will gladly eat... whatever that is!>

Mako: <It's fish. Delicious, delicious fish, not something you get much of in the desert. Not that I would know, I was raised in the absurdly cold Sinnoh north.>

Corrin: <Oh! I love fish!>

Mako: <Great, you'll fit in fine. Stay here a sec, princess.>

-He wanders off. Corrin sits and waits.-

Corrin: <...>

-And waits a bit more.-

Corrin: <...>

-Her stomach rumbles. She was very hungry.-

Corrin: <...No. I'm not going to hunt these creatures willy-nilly. There is perfectly good food waiting, and I must not be...>

-Her stomach rumbles again.-

Corrin: <...>

-She looks around in the snow. It's incredibly cold. There's not much wildlife, it seems— wait, something just moved.-

Corrin: <!!!>

-She whips her head around to see the source. It was...-

-Wasn't that one of the frozen treats that there were advertisements for? A "Casteliacone"?-

Corrin: <...>

-Casteliacones were alive?!-

-She shakes her head. It's food. It's edible. Dear gods, she was hungry.-

-She could just... sneak up and—

Wild_Vanillite♀_(lv25): <AAAAAAH DON'T EAT ME!>

-The Vanillite screams. Corrin screams. Snow falls from the tree above Corrin.-

Wild_Vanillite♀_(lv25) used Avalanche!

-The terrified ice cream cone flees from the scene. A blue reptilian arm reaches into the snow pile and pulls out the very cold lizard.-

Mako: <Type matchups aren't until lesson 2. Don't read ahead yet.>

-Corrin shivers and nods.-

edited 15th Dec '17 1:18:35 PM by BittersweetNSour

Aspertia Center

-Aside from clickbait articles, there are various fan blogs, fan art (especially of something called "love seat" ) and memes about the J-Team's various members-

-One called "the rumor come out: does umbra is ghost lord" may catch Mark's attention in particular-

edited 15th Dec '17 1:51:05 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

Shaun: "How idiotic are you, ma'am?"

Tsunami: <Said Shaun.>

---

-Michael suddenly feels odd. Again. It's been happening a lot since he left Alola.-

-It's probably nothing.-

---

Shaun: "There are J-Team memes?"

Jessica: <LET ME SEE>

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

Vali City

Well, derp on my behalf, Colt mentally sighed as he tugged his jacket sleeves. "So, where are these parts? I mean, I'm pretty sure if we don't return the pod, we're gonna be seen as untrustworthy, so we're probably gonna have to go the long way around," he reasoned.

And I'll again accept if I'm mistaken, he reasoned.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Driftveil Pokemon Center

-Corrin is now inside, in human form, curled up next to a heater, wrapped in like seven blankets.-

Mason: Seriously, a Vanillite? That's what handed your ass to you?

Corrin: A Vanillite...? I thought it was a "Casteliacone"...

Mason: Oh dear Xerneas, you thought it was an actual Casteliacone? Like the actual ice cream?

Corrin: W-was it not?

-Mason bursts out laughing-

Mason: Of course it's not! Vanillite are actual living icicle creatures, they just reminded people of ice cream cones so some actual ice cream company started selling it all decorated up to look like the things.

Near: ~You'd be surprised.~

-Mason ignores Near.-

Mason: It's to appeal to kids, get it? Little kids love things that look like cute Pokemon.

-Corrin stares in horror.-

Corrin: I...

Mako: <Vanillite aren't even actually flavored, as much as the name says otherwise. Trying to eat one's just a thousand different disappointments.>

-Corrin just sorta... keeps staring.-

Corrin: ...So they're just... enchanted ice?

Mako: <Well, I don't know about enchanted, but yeah, they're just cute little ice critters.>

Corrin: This world is so strange...

edited 15th Dec '17 3:41:04 PM by BittersweetNSour

AU!Natalie: "Thank you for this, Ms. Brie."

Natalie climbs onto Atlantis' back as well.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Brie: No problem.

-she gestures, and Atlantis and Halcyon both take off-

Brie: So, if there's anything else that might help jog your memories...do you have any Pokemon?

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

J-Team Group Chat

-pingalingaling!-

Another green world.

Templar Base - Team Destruction

While running down the Fennekin running down Evan, Colt's phone starting buzzing. Reflexively, she turned around and fired an Ember at him, which Natu almost took because the inertia removed the Tiny Bird Pokemon's footing. They both yelped before calming down, Colt approaching Sunny with a look of exasperation.

"This is a phone," Colt began as Sunny ran back to him. "It will create noise sometimes. Do not be alarmed; that kind of stuff happens."

Then he started tapping away on its screen. "Don't worry, you'll learn how it all works in time."

He was internally screaming because Joseph verbed a noun.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Templar Base - TS

-The Metagross try and counter with Zen Headbutts and Meteor Mashes, but the line is failing.-

Delphi Ten-Eyes: ~You've gone and let them destroy every single server. I can see all of the Joltik you've let swarm through the system, and now this base is just a pile of slag, and a monument to your failure, dear, blind big brother.~

-Magnus clenches his fists, but says nothing.-

Cassidy the Masterpiece: ~The Principal is most displeased, brother - and the first part of your punishment? The ignominy of retreat. You are hereby ordered to fall back and abandon this base.~

-Cassidy strides forward, all of the dust and smoke from the fight splitting to show the assaulting group his full visage.-

Cassidy the Masterpiece: ~And to all of you brave souls who somehow found our base and bloodied our noses, I bring an offer. We offer to drop all pursuit, claims, or interest in the traitors in your midst - no attacks, no conflicts, no Templars. And in exchange, all we ask is that you never shadow our doorstep again. A white peace, as it were. We go about our business, you go about yours.~

-With a flick of his wrist, the Metagross are pulled back.-

Cassidy the Masterpiece: ~I doubt either side wishes to see any more blood spilled.~

-Delphi's visor flickers between a number of visors before settling.-

-However, Ludmilla's teeth grit.-

Ever: Oh thank Arceus.

PEFE!Every: I should probably get those samples...

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

-Constantin enters the round once more, tossing an Infinity Ball up and down in his hand nonchalantly as he approaches Marcus, Kamehameha following in tow.-

-Marcus detects Constantin's presence despite not looking up from his clipboard.-

Marcus: So, were you successful finding any stragglers surveying the lower floors, Leader?

Constantin: A single Mega Sableye on the second floor, presumably one left behind and forgotten when the raiders were looting our stores. The rest of the second floor and the Generator Room was rather barren outside of the collateral damage the raiders caused. Don't worry, the Pokemon gave me enough information to get down to the bottom of this.

-Constantin waves his hand-

Constantin: Send a message back to HQ immediately, and contact our recent Cipher allies to see if the names "Giselle" or "Weskel" appear on their records somewhere.

-Marcus bows-

Marcus: Right away, sir.

-Marcus places a finger on his earpiece and contacts someone back at base to get on with Constantin's request. Maria, on the other hand, approaches Constantin with a slight pout as he stares at the elevator shaft.-

Maria: What are you thinking, herr Kommisar?

-Constantin and Kamehameha look over to her.-

Constantin: Has anyone surveyed the Entrance level yet, Boehm?

-Maria gives a non-committal shrug.-

Maria: It's pretty beat up. A lot of dead bodies and flummocksing Pokemon, but otherwise, nothing that isn't evident on the other levels.

-Constantin's eye twitches.-

Constantin: You let a group of gravely injured Pokemon up there unattended'? When they would need attending to the most!?

-Sensing Constantin's ire, Maria holds her hands up and begins backpedaling.-

Maria: Ah! Well sir! I-

Constantin: Enough. You are dismissed, Boehm. Return back to HQ at once, we'll discuss matters later. Marcus will take over the rest of your duties here.

-Maria was about to defend her position, but Constantin had already began walking away towards the Entrance stairwell. Kamehameha snorts at her, and follows after his trainer.

Maria, enraged, storms off towards the connecting teleporters in a huff. Muttering under her breath-

Maria: Ja, ja, was auch immer du kaputte... nichtsnutzige... geisteskranke Vipitis! Salomé! Jezebel! C'mon girls! We're leaving.

-The Tsareena and Salazzle exchange glances.-

Salomé: <Seems like the lass has 'ad a bit of a tiff with the bossman, shame.>

Jezebel: <Aww, just as I was getting into it too.. hmph!>

-Marcus observes as Maria storms off.-

Marcus: Not in the Leader's good graces, now, are we?

Maria: Can it, Rothschild.

-Marcus is somewhat taken aback by his bosses use of his last name as she parades off into the distance, before turning back to his job at hand.-

edited 15th Dec '17 5:16:16 PM by PippingFool

I'm having to learn to pay the price

Siren: <That's your idea of a call for help?>

Pianis: It's better than nothing, right?

-Felis hisses at Fortis again, and Condy unfurls her wings in response-

-on the underside of each wing is a Y brand in the same style as Fortis'-

-they glow brightly, and a beam of red light launches from them, knocking Felis to the floor-

Condy used Oblivion Wing!

Mezzo: What the hell.

-Felis yowls as it hits, and collapses to the floor, his energy drained-

Fortis: Piano, have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is? I used to think like that. Then I found something greater than myself: a task ordained by the divine.

Mezzo: What do you mean?

Fortis: I mean that there's something I have to do, and I can't let you or your little team stop me. But don't worry. I have everything under control now.

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

 Templar Base, past 

-To Cassidy-

And why should we believe you'd even hold up your end of the bargain? One way or another, this School's classes are being dismissed.

 Nimbasa Outskirts, today 

-Has been kinda busy so I haven't had the chance to go check on the Stormchaser like I do every week... only to go get a warning from Trojan's full-time subroutine inside the Stormchaser that an unauthorized person has started driving it, so I go to the usual spot... only to find it missing-

..You've gotta be kidding me here.

-Immediately releases Draca and flies off-

edited 16th Dec '17 1:17:28 AM by rmctagg09

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Nimbasa

-Robin is near Tagg and chases after him-

Templar Base

Neon: We will NEVER bend to you!

-His hands crackle with pulsing purple energy. A wave spreads, cancelling out the Psychic Terrain of Magnus-

Contact Me!

Natalie: "Yes, I..." -she reaches a hand for her pocket, looking concerned when she doesn't find any.- "... don't seem to have them on me, though."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Brie: Wait, what?

-she frowns-

Brie: That's awful. Wait, should we go check the helicopter again? They're not in there, are they?

-Pianis receives a text-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

-Achille grits his teeth.-

ShaunWulf: "No. Never.>

Tsunami: <Counterpropsal: I PERSONALLY RIP OUT EACH OF YOUR THROATS!>

Achille: <I'd gut you like [Cornish game hens].>

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

Templar Base

~Huff. Obscura blocks the Exalted Blade~

Yeah this ain't some simple sword bud.

-The Swordstemplar shrugs and draws his actual physical sword, the edge crackling as it heats up-

~No matter, I forged this one on the mother's orders~

-After a single moment of tension between the two the Templar starts running before ducking down into a graceful and rapid slide that Pent manages to dive away from... At which point the Templar turns on a dime and leaps forward, just barely soaring over the top-

What kind of freaked out soldier are you!?

-The Templar stands and makes a wiggling gesture that might be laughter? And then it starts monologuing-

~I heard the whispers of the mother when I awoke. She taught me the ways of the old weapons, deep in the depths. My genetics, the genetics of all born of her mercy are infused with the energy of Aura... But yet they don't hear her. They don't hear, or they lie. But it is no matter, if they ignore her that just means I am the lone Excalibur hero of her grace, her one and only Te-~

~Sniiiiiiiink~

-With a moment of hesitation, the smooth plated head of the strangely armored Templar falls off, cleaved from it's shoulders. The... Hollow... Head... Pent is perplexed as he winds down from that almost baseball-esque swing he just performed. He bends down and picks up the object he assumed was head-like. As the rest of the Templar? falls to the floor he notices the interior contains some basic mechanisms, like a puppet, but made with Auric materials-

~Nonononono. That wasn't supposed to happen!~

-Down the hall something small, no bigger than a teenager, flings... Some sort of optical camouflage sheeting off itself and runs off down the hall, firing a few badly-aimed Auric blasts towards Pent as it flees-

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.

Poni Shore

<Pyry: "Eh? So then how'd you get stuck in this one? You didn't know the first thing about a ship when we ran into you!">

<Pekka: "Yeah, and if you used to be like us. What turned you into... well, that?">

<Elty: "Tch. It all sounds like bilge to me. If they were really some sort of freaky alternate counterpart to you two, then where would mine be?">

Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985

AU!Natalie: "No, I don't think... No, it was a - I would have left them... somewhere." -She looks concerned.-

edited 15th Dec '17 7:03:12 PM by Izshta

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Route 16, Past

The Arm Beetle miraculously avoids the Super Fang.. How, considering its size, is a mystery. The Dark Pulse strikes its carapace while Earthquake jostles it around, but the Blizzard does little more than make it angry. The fists it can still move become engulfed in flame, and the Arm Beetle begins swinging around wildly.

The bunny masked girl yells "HIT THE DECK!" and proceeds to do so, narrowly avoiding getting smacked in the head by a flaming fist.

off the shits