Dunsparce Cloud
Ever: It was, in fact, a while ago.
-he grins-
Oh, Jacob. If life were a game you would be our bard. Inspiring us to new heights of drama, while at the same time extraordinarily capable yourself.
-he pauses-
Ever: Okay, don't know why I said that. I did, though, so we're all going to have to live with it. Except, I guess, the Haunter.
Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Meet The New Boss
Mount Lankinala
-Jackie leaps back and screams-
-Her Unown puts herself in between Jackie and the Xurkitree-
-Not that this does much because Unown-
-It might get people's attention though-
Contact Me!
The Pokémon Genius
Lonely Beach
Zrone: "... Cid. Could you roll me over? I'd prefer to look you in the eye, talking to you, instead of being face down in the dirt. But yes, the only joke here is me, not me being here."
Malie City
Jacob: "If life were a game I'd be dead because suffering is funny. And yes. I do kind of have to deal with this now. ... Also wait back up a little you caught an ghosted Latios."
"That tried to kill you."
"And made friends with it??"
"Why???"
"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."
-The Xurkitree tries to quiet them down-
Oscillot: {Don't make a scene!}
{At any rate, you know the ones who took The Tick, don't you?}
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
Meet The New Boss
Mt. Lakinala
-Jackie is still staring in shock. The Unown, however, is curious-
Unown: <The Tick?>
edited 15th Nov '17 5:32:30 PM by Umbramatic
Contact Me!
Lonely Beach
-Hector the Magmortar grabs Zrone and lifts him up. Juri continues poking him while he does so.-
Cid: I am legitimately unsure of what to say. This is an admittedly unique experience.
Dunsparce Cloud
Ever: Suffering is hilarious.
-he blinks-
Ever: Wait, did you not hear about the whole thing with Muninn? Basically in Orre I made enemies with this Latios, he tried to kill me, I tried to kill him, we agreed to disagree and went our separate ways, he showed up again because I took his wing, disguised himself as a Tropius, joined my team, betrayed my trust, tried to kill me again, missed, got shanked, died, was devoured by my team who didn't save me so much as a drumstick, came back as the cutest little ghost...
So I caught him. And now we're buddies.
Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Oscillot: {...Yes, they're a Buzzwole friend of mine. They were kidnapped by this person's special one.}
-The words 'special one' feel like they should be punctuated by a 3D, cartoonish picture of Locke's face-
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
The Pokémon Genius
Lonely Beach
Zrone: -Spiting out some sand- "... I have lost everything I spent my life building. All my assets have been seized. All my work destroyed. I still have the files for all my research and creations on me but I have lost everything. I'm in more pieces than your son's scattered thought process and I'm missing three limbs. And this is "a unique experience"???"
Malie City
Jacob: "Okay that makes sense, I was. Kinda. Dealing with everything with Regina in Orre."
"But also IS THAT REALLY A GOOD IDEA?? Is he really, truly, honestly, your friend??"
"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."
The Flamebringer
Masako: <Please stop teleporting...> -She wavers slightly, flopping over.-
Tamamo picks her up, Astolfo following happily behind, silent as usual, making for a somewhat strange sight: A woman with pink hair and the ears and tails of a Ninetails, in a deep blue dress, carrying (somewhat awkwardly) a queasy-looking Glaceon, followed by a Mimikyu with a Glaceon cover.
All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.
Dunsparce Cloud
Ever: Well, in my professional opinion, I think he's reformed.
And in my practical opinion, if he hasn't, I can double-kill him with pretty limited difficulty. So I think things are basically fine.
-he glances at the Glaceon parade, and blinks-
Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Haunter: <I once made friends with a Mismagius. Eventually we worked out that I had eaten her two million years earlier.>
<We still play stones now and then, but she never lets me live it down.>
Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
Lonely Beach
-Cid was in a pensive mood up until Zrone mentioned his son. His face twists up as if he'd bitten into a peppercorn.-
Cid: ... Just be glad you were not ripped from existence by a vengeful god. There is precedence for it.
The Pokémon Genius
Lonely Beach
Zrone: "Bah! I'd made myself untouchable to the gods of this world in my castle. I think they just left me because it was funnier this way. Watching me float across the sea and crawl when I washed up here."
"But more than that, Cid. I know you haven't been idle. You couldn't have been."
"I want revenge. We'll play the game your way."
-He tilts his head back as much as he can so Cid can catch a glimpse of his mechanical eye beneath his helmet- "And you of all people know how useful I can be."
Malie City
Jacob: -He nods- "That's fair. No risks and if you honestly believe in him."
-He looks over at the Haunter- "I mean, I can see bringing that up repeatedly if I were a ghost. And-"
-He sees Tamamo- "What."
-He looks at Ever- "... Half-Pokemon people aren't a thing I missed while I was out, right?"
"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."
Meet The New Boss
Mt Lakinala
Unown: <She calls him her "boyfriend", actually.>
Kolemm: L̼̼̞͜a͝d̥̤̭͔̞͕͚y̧̫ ̝th̘̙͕̲͔e̦̺͡y̬̳̰̣͙'̢̰̥̲ͅr̵͙ẹ́ ̠͚̲̰t̗̤a̖̘l͍̟̰̰k̺͉͍͍̟in̲g̺͚̱ ͏͓̪͓͖͓͉a̞̖̙b̫̤͖̬o̫u҉̮t̩̤̙ ̨͖̬y̧̤̫̟̝o͇͍̯̮̮̰̖u̸r͎̖̟̥̟̻ ̤̜s͏̺̱w͚̹e͙̞̠͔͙e̬̺̭t͘h̶̻͓̝̜͈̼͚e̕a̯r̷͍̹̲͖͍͍t͉̞̱͙̖~̵̬̥͓̯͎͚̜
Jackie: ...What?
Contact Me!
Not A Lawyer
Thanks to Pippi for spagging this with me!
Hau'oli City
Lucius and Liam have ditched their bags and are now wandering through the city, engrossed in conversation.
Lucius: ...then he closed his eyes, and... and that was it. I still don't know if I even meant those last few words.
Liam: ...O-oh. I... I'm sorry...
Lucius: It's okay. It's... hard to believe it was only a week ago, that's all.
He falls silent for a few moments before attempting to change the subject.
Lucius: So, what happened to your glasses?
Liam: I, uh... I got c-contacts. New me, new look, right?
Lucius: Heh. Makes sense, I guess.
They keep walking in silence for a few moments.
Lucius: ...Y'know, it's funny.
Liam: What is?
Lucius: Now that Dad's gone and Mom is... well, Mom, you and Caroline are pretty much the only family I have left.
Liam: Really?
Lucius: Really. Well, outside of super distant relatives like that bunch of Cains over in Kalos. Didn't you work for them at one point?
Liam nods.
Liam: Yeah... I was b-based in Fiore, though, so I didn't see much of them. You, um, you know what h-happened to them, right?
Lucius: What, did they all choke on their own collective smug?
Liam: ...N-no. The youngest daughter snapped and m-murdered them all.
Lucius: ...Oh. Shit. Man, now I feel like an asshole.
He bows his head.
Lucius: Shame, really... they didn't seem all that bad when I met them. Especially that Leonard guy. Wonder what he'd be doing now if he were still alive...
Meanwhile, a short ways away on the beach, a shiny Furfrou with a Dandy cut, an adorable jacket/trouser combo and a face like a slapped arse is lying on a beach lounge chair next to his owner. Nearby, a Blaziken, Delphox and Gallade sunbathe (all wearing matching sunglasses of course).
Pimpernel: <Why do I - a dog, need I remind you - have to wear trousers to the beach? I look absurd. And you look like one of those crazy old rich ladies who treat their yappy Pokemon like the children they never had.>
His owner lounging on the beach recliner next to him - a young woman in a sunset colour bikini and black hair cut in a bob-cut - closes the magazine and turns to her Furfrou, lowering her sunglasses as she does so.
Cleo: Because, Pimpernel, unlike you, I have a reputation to uphold. And it would be pretty damning on my name to be caught with a colleague who got hit with a charge for public indecency because his pale clown ass was streaking on a public beach should things go awry.
The Blaziken, Delphox and Gallade all collectively bring out their hip flasks and take a good, healthy swig of the liquor inside (probably vodka, one would assume).
Pimpernel: <I mean, I hate to be the hound that outsmarted his owner - just kidding, it's immensely satisfying - but did it ever occur to you that human trousers are typically a fair few sizes larger than dog ones?>
Cleo waves her hand dismissively.
Cleo: Did you forget the last time you transformed? The clothes I stuffed you in then, for some reason, seemed to re-adjust itself specifically when you transformed back to human. The convenience of magic is pretty great, doncha think~?
Cleo has a smug look on her self-assured smug look on her face that was previously matched by her Furfrou's self-assured smug quip a moment ago. He huffs.
Pimpernel: <There is nothing convenient about any of this! Particularly not the fact that my dignity depends on the whims of a capricious Obscuric witch and you.>
Nearby, the Delphox makes a tutting noise.
Pakhet: <Sheesh. Can't she just admit that she wanted to see a doggy in cute clothes first and foremost? It'd be a lot less complicated that way> ,:3
Gallade: <De Nile ain't just a river in [Egypt].>
Pakhet and Montu snap finger guns at Gallade and do a simultaneous "ayyyyy".
Montu: <True! It's also her last name!>
Pakhet: <Ah well. The more things change->
Montu: <The more they stay the same>
Pakhet: <And cheers to that~!> B3
The three clink their hip flasks together in agreement.
Pimpernel: <I can hear you, you know!>
Montu: <They say sharing is caring>
Pakhet: <But we don't care~> B3
There is another clink to that. As it turns out, the sound of hip flasks clinking is like a siren's call to Lucius, and he looks over at the group on the beach, Liam following his gaze.
Liam: Oh! That's, uh, that's C-Cleo de Nile!
Lucius: Who?
Liam: She and Leonard used to visit each other a lot. And I, um, I was always k-kind of jealous.
Lucius: ...Wanna go over and say hi, then?
Liam: Uh...
Cleo sense that there are eyes watching her on the beach, and turns her head in the direction, and begins scanning them up and down with a raise of her eyebrow.
Cleo: Hmm... those two boys over there... They seem somewhat familiar. Do you think so, Dandelion?
Pimpernel: <Now that you mention it, I feel like I've seen the taller one somewhere before... I think he used to work for me, maybe?>
Meanwhile, Lucius glances at Liam.
Lucius: Welp, you've made eye contact. Only two options now: an awkward conversation or a Pokemon battle. And since I don't see you going for your Pokeballs...
Liam: Wait, nonononononono-
Lucius grabs Liam by the sleeve and starts dragging him towards Cleo. Meanwhile, Cleo begins snapping her fingers while internally cycling through her memory, before the hypothetical lightbulb switches on in her head.
Cleo: Ah! I remember! I'm pretty sure the taller one with the bushy hair is Intern Silverman! Didn't they use to work for your company? That's probably where I remember them from...
Pimpernel: <Ah, of course! Though I could've sworn->
It is at this point that Lucius and Liam reach the two, Liam now a bright shade of red and doing his best to hide behind his tiny half-brother.
Lucius: Uh, hi there. Sorry to bother you, but my brother Liam here is, like, sixty per cent certain he knows you from work.
Cleo chuckles slightly as she flicks her hair and places her sunglasses more securely on her head in a fashion that would be befitting to be accompanied by the saxophone solo from either "Careless Whisper" or "You Belong to the City".
Cleo: In fact, I do know your brother here~ Was he not one Intern Silverman who worked for Cain Enterprises back in the day? Though I must say, it took a while to recognise you. You look completely different from where I last saw you~
Liam: Um... y-yeah, that's me...
Pimpernel rolls his eyes.
Pimpernel: <Do you want to lay it on a little thicker? I'm not sure he's squirming enough yet.>
Cleo side-eyes Pimpernel and whispers at him through her smile.
Cleo: Keep this up and I'll take you to get your balls chopped off.
Pakhet calls out from the distance.
Pakhet: <Empty threaaaaaat~> ,:3
Lucius blinks, then glances between Cleo and Pimpernel.
Lucius: ...Hang on, did you just reply to your Furfrou?
The coy and slightly seductive expression on Cleo's face gives way to a more panicked one very quickly.
Cleo: No! Of course not! That'd be silly! Your mind is just playing tricks on yah, kid! Do I know you from somewhere? Your features feel familiar!
Pimpernel: <Erm... true! Very familiar, in fact!>
Lucius squints.
Lucius: ...Okay, I'm certain that dogs aren't meant to have voices I recognise.
Cleo's eyes widen and can only respond with a high pitched meep.
Cleo: And, er. I'm certain that your mind is definitely playing tricks on you, my good sir!
On the beach, Montu and Pakhet have their faces buried deep in their paws/claws.
Montu: <Now this is just getting embarrassing.>
Pakhet: <The cringe is real.> :s.
Gallade: <There's not half a decent liar between them, I swear...>
Montu: <This deserves->
Pakhet: <A drink?> :3
Montu: <A drink.> :>
Cue another simultaneous swig of the hipflask. Lucius glances over at them, then looks back at Pimpernel and experimentally flicks his wrist. With a wisp of shadow trailing behind him, the Furfrou flies right into his owner.
Pimpernel: <Ooof!>
Lucius: Huh. You must be following the way of the samurai, because it looks like you've got yourself a ghost dog.
Cleo gives a deep, exasperated and annoyed sigh as she rubs her temples in frustration. Before looking up at Lucius with a slightly angrier, almost venomous expression.
Cleo: Listen here nice and closely now. Not a damn word about this gets out to anyone, you got me? The situation is frustrating enough and I don't need any more complexities on the hour, ok-
As she's saying this, familiar sparkles flicker around Pimpernel.
Cleo: Oh no
Cue the catchy tune
, shining lights, magical girl-esque transformation with the the oodles of noodles of ribbons. And where once was a dour shiny Furfrou is now a stunned/shocked/embarrassed young man with a pallid complexion and some very familiar features left blinking at Lucius and Liam. Despite the elaborate scene that just took place, nobody else on the beach seems to have taken notice of the event.
Cleo, on the other hand, has buried her face in her palms and is almost crying in frustration.
Cleo: At LEAST the Obscura Witch had the damn decency to include a ignoring field with the package...
Montu: <Don't forget the magic paaaants~>
Leonard: Oh, how could I forget?
Liam and Lucius simply stare at Leonard.
Liam: ...L-Leo?
Lucius: ...Gotta admit, I wasn't expecting that. Erm... hello again, I suppose?
Cleo: Listen, it's a long fucking story that I don't have the time for-
If almost on cue, the Three Amigos move from their spot on the beach and have shimmied over to the beach recliners. Pakhet herself has brought out her stickwand with giddy delight.
Pakhet: <Oh but we do~!> :3c
Cleo: Gah!
Montu: <We always have the time to haver ripping yarns!> :>
Pakhet: <Alcohol and Psychopyrotechnics make for the best storytelling medium!> :3
Gallade: <Particularly when mixed.>
Montu: <However... I feel like it'd be more economical to just show them the last time we told this tale.>
Pakhet: <You mean... a flashback within a flashback? Flashbackception~?> ,:3
Montu: <The very same!>
Pakhet: <Oh Monty~ You clever birdy you~<3>
Montu puffs up his feathers and :>s in response.
Gallade: <It's a bold move, Cotton. Let's see how it pays off for them.>
Pakhet: <So anyway! Let's get on with the show! Would you like to help me with the honours Gallade~?> ,:3c?
Gallade: <Always.>
Using sand, fire and a mixture of psychic and auric powers. Gallade and Pakhet whip up a mirror that reflects back to Liam and Lucius the last time this story was told. Image quality is very clear, but the sound quality is a tad bit grainy. Still, it's clear enough that the two can understand what's being said at all times.
Pakhet: <And that's the story about how we got to the situation of which we've been in for the last two years now~> :3c
Montu: <Time's Arrow marches forward indeed~> :>
Lucius and Liam both continue staring.
Liam: I am so confused right now... o_0
Lucius: ...Okay, I'll admit that was all very impressive, but wouldn't it have been easier to just say "a witch brought him back from the dead as a Furfrou with Obscura magic"? I mean, I get it. I did the whole dying thing. I know the drill.
Montu: <Yes, but then you would have missed out on all the comedy in the progression of events!>
Pakhet: <And our mad improv skills with the song numbers!> :3
Montu: <Plus, the viewers at home may have needed a recap of the events!>
Gallade: <It's been a long time since this show last aired, after all.>
While Montu and Pakhet have their spiel, Cleo just sighs.
Cleo: So yeah. That's what transgressed about two years ago and the situation we've been stuck in since. And fuck me if we haven't had some really close shaves with keeping up the charade over those two years...
[Insert comical montage of all the close shaves Cleo and Leonard have had over the years with the involuntary transforming shenanigans that both authors were too lazy to write out in detail but we assure you, they were funny]
Cleo: It's been exhausting.
Leonard: Indeed. Though I can't deny that the incident in the Battle Maison was quite amusing, in hindsight...
Lucius: Wow. And here I was thinking my life was like a sitcom. Granted, a really dark sitcom that only plays at like 4am on [Russian]-language channels, but still.
Cleo goes points at Lucius and Liam and glares with the same, venomous expression that she had earlier.
Cleo: Remember, not a single word of this gets out. Capeesh? The quagmire that would cause is not something I want to deal with right now and so help me, I can make you disappear on a whim should you cross my lines. You got that?
Liam: Y-yes, ma'am!
Lucius rolls his eyes.
Lucius: Yeesh, dramatic much? I've already said, my lips are sealed. It's like the Ghost Bro Code or something.
Cleo perks up with a smile, though the air of a threat is still lacing her body language.
Cleo: Good! Now if you excuse me...
Cleo goes back to relaxing on her beach recliner, putting back on her sunglasses and reopening her magazine.
Cleo: I gotta get back to relaxing on my day off~ Adieu~
Liam: Um... b-bye, then!
He and Lucius turn and start walking away.
Lucius: ...I have to say, that was not the family reunion I was expecting this afternoon.
Leonard watches them go, then looks back at Cleo.
Leonard: You know, you handled that with all the grace and charm of a herniated Hippowdon.
Cleo sneers.
Cleo: Oh just shut it, Dandelion.
edited 16th Nov '17 4:01:20 AM by Herbert40k
Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.
Dunsparce Cloud
Ever: You know, I think I still haven't told Muninn what happened to his corpse.
-he tilts his head-
Ever: ...No, no, half-Pokemon is definitely a new one. Maybe they're just a really dedicated furry?
Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Lonely Beach
-Cid works his jaw for a moment.-
Cid: Fine then.
-A smile splits his face like an open wound.-
Cid: You get to work with Johanna Aulstyne. Doctorates in Military Theory and Physics. She's also a cyborg - nearly full body conversion, too.
-He lets out a laugh.-
Cid: You two will get along just fine.
Juri: <Oh shit, maybe I'll get to watch!>
Oscillot: {...Alright, then, boyfriend. And, yeah, they caught The Tick in... well, a Poke Ball, I suppose you call it and carted them off! And I haven't been able to find them since!}
"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every
The Flamebringer
Masako: <You can put me down now you goddamn Ninetails.>
Tamamo looks at Masako. "Okay☆" And proceeds to drop her. Gently. Mostly.
Masako: <... Funny.>
Astolfo: <I thought it was!>
Masako: <Please don't encourage her.>
All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.
The Pokémon Genius
Lonely Beach
Zrone: -He grunts, a little unnerved by the smile- "... I get the feeling you assume that we won't. Well, if the girl has any sense in her I'm sure I'll be able to make her do something useful."
"..."
"... Also, can you get your emotionally stunted psycho to give me my arm back? I need it."
Malie City
Jacob: "What is a "furry" and what would make one dedicated?"
-He looks at Tamamo- "Okay how did you do that with your voice. That. That thing. With the star?"
edited 15th Nov '17 6:05:33 PM by Verax
"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."
Henshin Hopeful
Abandoned Thrifty Megamart
EJ walked through the halls of the shop, shutter snapping as he took pictures of orbs and wisps dancing through the air.
"What's the goal here?"
Wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka~
Dunsparce Cloud
Ever: People who dress up as Pokemon. Or, possibly, transform halfway into them. ...Yeah, I'm just gonna go with furry, then...
edited 15th Nov '17 6:13:25 PM by memyselfandI2
Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Meet The New Boss
Thrifty Megamart
-A Gastly pops out at EJ!-
Mt. Lakinala
-Kolemmn translates-
Jackie: They're apparently stuck in an alternate universe, is the problem.
-The Unown translates back-
Contact Me!
Lonely Beach
Juri: <Not a problem, Scrapheap.>
-She looks the arm over. She flips his wrist back and forth.-
Juri: <And I'll think about it.>
*Blip!*
-Standing beside the Teleported Magmortar is a man with chestnut hair and glasses. He looks between Juri and Zrone.-
Cid: Zrone. I had almost thought Juri was joking.
-Juri takes Zrone's arm and pokes Hector's shoulder. Hector doesn't respond, so Juri repeats the process.-