I found porn!
Me: Wait, isn't chocolate dangerously toxic to dogs?
Jackal Lord: - Devouring the Chocolardiac Arrest - That is correct, minion. Though I fail to see the purpose of this question.
Me: - Just stares at the dog head in disbelief -
Jackal Lord: Fool, only my head resembles that of a jackal. RESEMBLES! Just because your head looks like that of a leprous baboon does not mean you have an irresistible craving for ticks, does it?
Me: HEY!
WOOF!
Me: This has delved into regions of weird even I am unfamiliar with.
Elbie: Oui, mon ami? Ne jamais?
Me: Ok, you leave her out of this.
But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.
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Me: So, umm, this is awkward.
Grassy: NOOOO, Tre. I would've never guessed.
Me This is, uh, yeah, this is disgusting, I'm out.
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
Gristknife
ME: Come back with my wallet!
Hungry Joe Lewis: See ya sucker!
Me: Jokes on him, I'm straight!
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
The Leading Man
Me: "So, what do you- hey wait, hang on. You're from a JRPG, right?"
Aqua: "Right."
Me: "So you don't need food."
Aqua: "How does that work?"
Me: "Think about it; when was the last time you saw a character in a JRPG consume anything other than Potions or MP/HP restoring items?"
Aqua: "Ven's eaten Ice Cream. And all three of us can eat it if you unlock a certain cutscene."
Me: -turns to look at screen- "Prrrrrroblem, Fourth wall?"
Against all tyrants.
Nnoitra: (at Aqua) Damn, you got a nice rack and you just broke the fourth wall with absolute fuckin' impunity! -perverted grin- I like this woman...
Me: Remind me why I even decided to take you out in public. Please.
edited 1st Dec '10 9:30:42 PM by MsieurLapin
My Avatar:...
Me:...
My Avatar:...
Me:...Yeah, this isn't working out.
My Avatar:...
Me: -walks off-
The Leading Man
Me: -leaps over the table and stabs a knife into Nnoitra's leg-
"Say that again. Please. Give me a reason to finish the job."
edited 1st Dec '10 10:33:46 PM by Legionnaire
Against all tyrants.
Nnoitra: -doesn't even flinch- Ohoho, someone's got some fight in him... this is turnin' out to be a better night out than I'da thought.
Me: Heeeere we go. =_=
edited 1st Dec '10 10:43:33 PM by MsieurLapin
The Leading Man
Me: -Steps back, unfazed- "Now then, shall we eat? Or shall I have to do research on weaknesses?"
Aqua: -sighs- Let it go.
Me: But he-
Aqua: It's not worth getting into a fight over. It happens all the time. Just let it go.
Me: Fine. But you're paying.
Aqua: I thought you said I didn't need to eat?'''
Me: Doesn't mean you shouldn't.
edited 1st Dec '10 10:45:41 PM by Legionnaire
Against all tyrants.
Me: I second that, let's forget about this and -
Nnoitra: Ain't my fault if you got yourself a severely fuckable broad there, man.
Me: ... You're just trying to provoke him at this point because you're bored, aren't you?
Nnoitra: -smirk-
edited 1st Dec '10 10:52:57 PM by MsieurLapin
The Leading Man
Me: "If we're bored, let's get some food."
-leans over to Nnoitra, whispers-
"You're damn straight she's fuckable. The moment I hit second base, I'm declaring all life other than ours worthless."
edited 1st Dec '10 10:53:20 PM by Legionnaire
Against all tyrants.
Me: My god. My avatar may be completely stationary and incapable of anything without his hat, but at least he's not a dick.
My Avatar: ...
Me: Damn straight!
...Wait, why am I talking to it? Gah! >_<
edited 1st Dec '10 10:54:55 PM by MidnightVelvet
Nnoitra: -whispers back- I'd bet, man, she's got a pretty nice pair of knockers on her.
Me: Look, can we please just order already? I'm starving and tired of where this conversation is going. And you stop hitting on other women.
Nnoitra: Bitch, I'll do what I fuckin' well want.
Me: -burying my face in my hands-
edited 1st Dec '10 10:57:50 PM by MsieurLapin
You know, I've loved you since yesterday, but you've been a thorn to the patrons of this restaurant, complaining about their dialogue being drowned out by your singing. I'm terribly sorry, but I don't think this relation is working out...
The Leading Man
Me: "What is that thing? A giant, disembodied face?"
edited 1st Dec '10 11:05:20 PM by Legionnaire
Against all tyrants.
Ridley: -to above argument-
Dramaaaaaa!
Me: ...Long, I've dreamed of this moment!
Stacy: …This is a little creepy
ME: So, you wanna split the bill?
Pops: -Takes out 3 lollipops- There we go. That's 50 dollars exactly.
When life gives you lemons, fill the juices up into squirt guns and shoot them at people's eyes.
Me: Put it away.
Sniper Santa: Just a little to the left...
Me: I SAID PUT IT AWAY.
Sniper Santa: ...Buzzkill.
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Tre: Well, I guess the shippers had their way, and Trellison turned out to be real.
Allison: Heh, heh, yeah.
...
Allison: Can we go back to our respective boy and girlfriends now?
Tre: Yeah, good idea, this is really awkward.
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
Me: I could stare at you all day...
Stacy: ...Please don't.
Li'l Shardfinder
Me: "You look quite lovely today!"
Peach: "Thank you! Here, I brought you something!"
Me: (gasp!) "A Mushroom? You shouldn't have!" 
Be green.
me:Dont do drugs in front of my avatar.
Avatar:Why does the have drugs?
me:UM ITS HER MEDS SHE NEEDS THEM TO BE ABLE TO WALK...yeah......
I am bad at picking things.
Fawriel: Ahah... hah...
Satori: You don't have to be so nervous. Don't worry, I'm not going to think badly of you due to this.
Fawriel: I- I'm not nervous! And I didn't- that. Ah.
Satori: Yes, you are, and yes, you did, but it's okay. Please stop worrying.
Fawriel: Augh.