Dread Sorcerer of Auchtermuchty
Man who gets up early better than man hit on head with bamboo banjo.'
——>Confucius.
Also mentioned that the state "running around flapping your arms like a duck" was named after Confucius, and called "confusion."
edited 12th Mar '16 6:04:07 PM by TheOneWhoTropes
Keeper of The Celestial Flame
Student of Story
- You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
- You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, respectively. (I can't claim credit for this one, my fiance thought it up after I told her about this thread.)
| Wandering, but not lost. | If people bring so much courage to this world...◊ |
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
"Does this mean I get to ascend to godhood as a storm GOD now? No? WELL SCREW YOU, THEN, EDISON!" -Nikolae Tesla, upon learning that his GM would not permit ascension via technology.
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
my current job
-Jane Goodall.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
"This is, the story of a girl... who cried a river and drowned the whole world...and while she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her... when she smiiiillllleeees..."
Not sure if that would count as a historical figure, but that was the first thing to pop into my head.
Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right
Who is the man
That would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Shaft!)
Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
(Shaft!)
Right on
You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
(John Shaft)
edited 27th Mar '16 5:28:14 PM by Troper_Walrus
The Exia is my waifu
"I'm satisfied with my country's politicians, and think they can do no wrong."
- Everybody on the Internet.
"hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy..."
-Roosevelt to Hirohito, after Japan takes the first steps to the Genocide route bombs Pearl Harbor.
RJ Savoy
For centuries, Venice was a power in the Mediterranean, where wealth from trade let them keep up their navy, and their navy protected the trade that made them wealthy. Good governance was assured by a system of councils representing the merchant class that elected a Doge for life. They stood up to the Ottomans, the Pope, and the Hapsburgs. Venice was one of the biggest cities in Europe and likely the richest.
But during the seventeenth century the state declined. No longer with the most competent government or the most open economy in Europe, the rulers knew they needed to change to keep up, but they were too comfortable in their decline to make the effort.
By the time Napoleon's army came marching to their doorstep, they had only a few regiments of mostly Croatian mercenaries and a handful of ships ready. Napoleon himself declared to Ludovico Manin, last of the Doges:
"So army. Very military. Such wow."
And the doge could only say:
"Can I has Hapsburgs?"
Stories don't tell us monsters exist; we knew that already. They show us that monsters can be trademarked and milked for years.
"Happy new year"
Heinrich Rudolf Hertz
, January 1st 1894.
edited 16th Jun '16 3:39:36 PM by ClownToy
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Nice build up, excellent execution.
Citizen
"My fellow Americans... What in the hell is wrong with you!?"
— President Donald J. Trump, January 20, 2017
edited 22nd Jun '16 3:12:58 PM by Lawyerdude
What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
"...and that's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold said so!" - Stephen F. Austin
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
hiya, the name's scout.
"All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman." - John Adams
ppppppppfeiufiofuiorjfadkfbnjkdflaosigjbkghuiafjkldjnbaghkd
"COMMUNISM IS THE DEFINITION OF FAILURE." -John F Kennedy.
'The Second Amendment guys can take care of him.' -John Wilkes Booth on Abraham Lincoln.
"If you spend all your heart / On something that has died / You are not alive and that can't be a life"
*Vague plotting intensifies*
"I cannot tell a lie. I did burn down the village, behead the mayor, and chop down the cherry tree."
-George Washington
"In Cthulhu we trust"
-slogan on old USSR currency
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
"Why are people dancing on our graves? We were perfectly good people."
-Fred Phelps, Margret Thatcher and OBL.
Surprisingly unstable
"I will build a wall!" - Emperor of China
The filidh that cam frae Skye
"And make GERMANY pay for it!" — André Maginot
edited 9th Sep '16 6:08:13 PM by SantosLHalper
Halper's Law: as the length of an online discussion of minority groups increases, the probability of "SJW" or variations being used = 1.
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
"The Picts will pay for it!''
-Emperor Hadrian, 122 CE.
Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
"In this world, IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED."
-Caligula, upon gaining the title of Emperor.
edited 10th Sep '16 7:22:49 AM by RandomWriter413
Woah, communism!
"I think the Japanese are pleasant people, and the American are quite alright. But I do enjoy the company of our fellow Koreans south of the border." -Kim Il-Sung
My stuff. Dynamic dinosaur
I got these from a certain maligned website, but I still find them funny.
"I did not have sex with that woman"-Oscar Wilde
"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated"-Jesus
edited 27th Sep '16 9:19:12 AM by Smasher
my current job
"This is how they did it in Butch Cassidy, right?" -Custer's Famous Last Words.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
-Anonymous, to Charles Manson.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.