Warhammer 40,000

Except for GRIMDARK, of course.

No doubt some vice-junior administratorium decided that all weapons on the planet were earmarked for the 14th Black Crusade, and using any of them to arm your guardsman is heresy!

"But we have a continent full of lasguns right here!

"HERESY! Wait for your shipment from Forgeworld X and pray it's on time, not eaten by the Warp, stolen by Orks, traitors, the ship hijacked by Dark Eldar..."

edited 1st Jun '16 9:47:05 AM by Rotpar

Plot Twist (sort of): The leaders of the Imperium are actually all Chaos Worshipers trying to bring about the complete destruction of the human race while merely pretending to be incompetent or obstructive zealots. The Imperium's survival has almost entirely been a case of Spring Time For Hitler.

"Ok, here's the plan: We turn this regime into an absolute totalitarian nightmare, ban all innovations that might help the Imperium stop Chaos, kill people for arbitrary mutations and dissent who might otherwise help us, and then force people to worship the Emperor in order to create a fifth Chaos god!"

edited 1st Jun '16 9:53:33 AM by Protagonist506

the Assassins would have got to them it that was the case, and the High Lords at the time of The Beheading (when the entire council was assassinated) were basically no better than that due to their political infighting and power plays, hell, they were probably MORE dangerous

Humanity is its own worst enemy in more ways than one.

I will lot to see a novel with deal with high lord in more grey matter, as every mention of them is being horrible piece of shit, what a shame

I think the best member of the High Lords was Solar Macharius.

History indicates pretty clearly that absolute power lacking any oversight or reason to care about the citizenry is a solid recipe for everything going to shit at high speed.

For today's 2nd Edition Thursday: Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka, Mighty Goff Warlord & Leader of the Waaagh!

In Second Edition Ghazghkull could be taken instead of a regular Warboss and, if included, had to be the army commander. He cost 135 points without his wargear cards, had a Strategy Rating of 3 and had the following statline: M4 WS7 BS6 S4 T5 W4 I5 A3 Ld10. He looked like this at the time.

For equipment Ghazghkull was armed with a Bolt Pistol, a Power Sword and Frag & Krak Stikkbombs. He wore Ork Mega-Armour (giving him a 2+ save on a D6 with a 4+ unmodifieble re-roll on a D6 if the first roll was failed) which includes a Targeter.^note Targeters gave the model +1 To Hit with shooting He had the following Wargear Cards:

Ghazghkull’s Adamantium Skull ~ 15 Points: Ghazghkull’s Adamantium skull added +1 to Ghazghkull’s Toughness^note giving him T6, and also allowed him to deliver a truly awesome head butt! He could head butt an opponent in close combat instead of making a normal attack. If he did this and won the combat, then he scored 1 hit, no matter what margin he beat his opponent’s score by. However, the hit had a Strength of 10, a -4 saving throw modifier, and causes 1D3 wounds.

Kustom Blasta ~ 30 Points: A kustom blasta is a big rocket launcher or grenade lobber fitted with an Ork Mekboy’s speshul kustom warheads. The kustom blasta had a Short Range of 0-16" and a Long Range of 16-36" with a -1 To Hit. Kustom Blastas an unpredictable blast maker with a D3” radius – you had to roll for the size of the blast marker each time the weapon was fired. It also had a variable Strength which was rolled on the artillery dice^note 2,4,6,8,10, Misfire each time it is fired. If a Misfire was rolled on the artillery dice the kustom blasta had exploded! The blasta was destroyed and the Ork carrying it suffered a S4 hit.

Ghazghkull also had the Power of the Waaagh! special rule. In Second Edition Ghazghkull could do this once per game at any time in his or his opponent's turn. As soon as he did this any fleeing Ork unit automatically rallied and for the remainder of that turn Ghazghkull was totally immune to any and all damage. In addition all Orks on the battlefield received a +1 modifier for their Attack Roll in hand-to-hand combat.

Second Edition Ghazghkull could be accompanied by his personal Battle Standard Bearer.^note Battle Standards in Second Edition allowed models from their army within 12" to re-roll for any failed Break Test Makari who cost 70 points, was armed with a basic knife, had to remain within 2" of Ghazghull at all times and had the following statline: M4 WS3 BS4 S3 T3 W1 I3 A1 Ld6

Makari had the Incredible Good Luck special rule that gave him an unmodifiable 2+ save on a D6

edited 2nd Jun '16 2:33:53 AM by SebastianGray

Warhammer University: What would the factions of the Warhammer 40k Universe be if it was condensed into a university?

I had a quick skim through and it is quite humorous, if a little predictable.

In other news: Here are some Rangers that I painted for my Iyanden army a while ago. They may be old models but they still go well alongside the more modern ones.

I thought of what 40K would be like if it was a poorly run forum. My thoughts:

The God-Emperor: The administrator who's dead or never around.

The Imperium: Draconian moderators who are also a Misaimed Fandom to the lost Admin.

The Admech: The programmers and maintenance staff for the forum, that rarely actually fixes anything.

I'm having trouble deciding if Orks or Chaos would be Trolls. It's hard to say. I suppose Chaos could be hackers or something?

Tyranids: Spambots.

Tau: Newcomers to the forum with naive ambitions of improving it.

Necrons: Probably thread necromancers. Or people who think the Forum should die anyways.

Eldar: People who think They Changed It, So It Sucks and want the forum to return to how it was very long ago.

The Imperial Guard: the rank and file who keep using it and soldiering on through all the shit, trying to make it workable

The Eldar are the previous generation of staff who were deposed when they made one big screw-up.

Chaos are the trolls, of course.

I like it!

Ok. What are the Orks, then?

they just wade in on each fight for the sake of it, they have no sides, they just want a good fight

Lurkers who do random crap like incite flamewars, nerco old threats and generally make asses of themselves.

Yeah, just a disorganized mob of lunkheads. Full of dead horse memes, TLDR, derailing topics, etc.

• This is a well-written, thoughtful post.
  • TLDR
  • Much text, such words, wow.
  • This is a well-written, thoughtful post.
    U vote 4 TRUMP, yolo.
  • This is a well-written, thoughtful post. U vote 4 TRUMP, yolo.
    Trump rulz
  • This is a well-written, thoughtful post. U vote 4 TRUMP, yolo.Trump rulz
    Trump sux.

Banhammer: In the Grimdarkness of cyberspace, there is only flame-war, and the laughter of bloodthirsty mods.

I would like to note that GIFT and the Warp are analogous concepts.

Warboss Grizgutz reports his past and future selves for derailing simultaneously.

Interview with Gav Thorpe

b-b-b-but that's heresy!

so... I've been thinking... could a Commissar execute an Inquisitor? on paper the job of the Commissar is to maintain moral and discipline within the Guard, by any means necessary! does this, in theory, mean a Commissar could just up and *BLAM!* an Inquisitor who's scheming not only put the moral of his or her troops at risk, but their very lives? I know Inquisitors are a law unto themselves, and in theory taking over entire Guard regiments to send them to their pointless deaths is well within their power... but would a Commissar allow it?

I think that's a collision of two absolutes, and probably one of many excuses for an Imperial Guard vs Inquisition match.

Depends on the size of the balls on the Commissar. Someone like Yarrick or Gaunt? Very likely. Cain? Possible, though he'd more likely get the ladyfriend to deal with it.