- It is perfectly acceptable to withhold life-saving information from a child, endanger their life and use them to murder your rivals if there is a lesson for the child in the end — no matter how flaky the lesson might be. Also, when you land in a strange country and are threatened with death by someone with obvious and frightening magical powers you should blindly follow the first advice anyone offers no matter how bizarre or half-witted they might seem.
- Meta: Fantasy is unacceptable as a genre and cannot be enjoyed by most people unless you plainly spell out that anything unusual that occurred in the story was All Just a Dream, even if in the book it was based on the fantasy world was real. Otherwise it won’t appeal to anyone over the age of three.
- Twisters are not deadly, they're a perfectly safe form of transportation to mythical worlds.
- For you. For bystanding witches, not so much.
- If you accidentally commit manslaughter, the victim's possessions belong to you so long as the victim was unpopular. Looting gems from a corpse in front of dozens of witnesses and then holding on to them when the deceased's extremely powerful relative asks for them will work out for the best in the end.
- Keep a bucket of liquid that will melt your flesh just lying around. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
- When visiting a new land, be sure to accept credit for killing the first person you saw, even if the weather actually did it. Just call it an accident.
- When travelling, team up with every mentally unstable stranger you encounter.
- Getting back to your dystopic homeland is worth undertaking a hopelessly difficult assassination quest. Even if you're an underage girl with mentally unstable companions.
- Even wicked witches come down with Bond Villain Stupidity and like stalling with bizarre rituals like frightening prisoners with hour glasses...or something.
See also Land of Oz for the book series.
