Video Game: Drake Of The 99 Dragons

Drake: Nothing can stop me now!
(Record Needle Scratch)
Adam Sessler: SHUT UP. We stopped you.

Drake of the 99 Dragons was a third person shooter for Xbox and PC, released back in 2003. It stars an undead assassin named Drake, the last surviving (kinda) member of the Dragon clan, on his quest to restore the Dragons' honor by eliminating the rival clan that killed them all and stole an ancient treasure of theirs.

While the game attempted to convey a sense of stylized comic book action by utilizing cel-shaded graphics and giving Drake the ability to wield two guns at once and stop time, Drake is much more notorious for its low production values and many camera issues, making the game needlessly difficult. For those reasons and more, it has earned itself a spot on many, many "worst game ever" lists.

Drake contains examples of the following tropes:

  • A God Am I: On realizing he's undead, Drake yells, "Am I... INVINCIBLE?!?" and jumps out a window to test it. He promptly dies.
  • Bullet Time
  • Camera Screw: The auto-aim function and the camera were mapped to the same analog stick, making combat virtually impossible.
  • Cel Shading: Only really visible on Drake's trenchcoat.
  • Cutscene Incompetence: Not counting the death that starts the plot, Drake is killed in cutscenes five times over the course of the game. He actually dies so much that he drains the guardians's power due to having to bring him back, forcing them to shunt him into one of his corpses.
  • Double Jump
  • Fake Difficulty: The game is very hard. Not because of any legitimate difficulty, but because the game is so supremely, fundamentally broken on every level that even the tutorial fight can easily kick your ass.
  • Game-Breaking Bug: The soul manipulation abilities don't work. You can die jumping off a building the game forces you to jump off. Drake can get stuck up to his waist in the ground at random. And so on, and so on.
  • Game Over Man: The guardians, who mock you every time you die. The player will likely get tired of it really quickly.
  • Guns Akimbo: Drake can wield two different guns in each hand.
  • Gun Twirling: Done obsessively by Drake in cutscenes, often while spouting off hefty amounts of exposition.
  • Informed Attribute: Drake is supposedly a master assassin. His tactics? Run in and shoot everything around him, constantly throwing aside empty pistols covered in his fingerprints and DNA.
    • He also dies constantly. Not normal gameplay deaths. Cutscene deaths.
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice: Drake's got a pretty hefty jawbone.
  • Large Ham: Drake. Probably the one good thing about this game is his So Bad, It's Good Ham and Cheese Serious Business Chewing the Scenery.
  • Last of His Kind
  • Loads and Loads of Loading: Every time the player dies, they have to sit through two loading screens so that they can be taken to the guardians' realm for them to mock you for your failure.
  • Obvious Beta: If this game was supposed to be sent out like this, we'll eat Drake's trenchcoat.
  • Power Tattoos: Drake's chest tattoo of the Undying Dragon, given to him by his master, is why he can come back to life. It must be fed souls on a regular basis to hold Drake to this world.
  • Shout-Out: Drake's tattoo of the Undying Dragon is a Shout-Out to the Immortal Iron Fist, who has a Power Tattoo of a dragon named Shou Lou the Undying on his chest.
  • Take Over the World: The Big Bad's very creative motivation.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Drake dies in-story on a regular basis.
  • Throw Away Guns: Drake doesn't carry magazines but an infinity of loaded guns. Instead of reloading, he drops his empty gun and picks another loaded.
  • Totally Radical: In one cutscene, Drake uses the phrase "out of this world" completely seriously; not one trace of irony, parody, or humor anywhere (though it has humor if you count Narm).
  • Too Dumb to Live: At one point, Drake dives out of a window at the top floor of a skyscraper for no real reason. He dies and is called out on it in the afterlife, then sent back down to Earth.
    • Lampshaded too. "The Undying Dragon can't protect Drake from his own stupidity."
  • Unsound Effect