Useful Notes / The Falkland Islands

None of those place names are used in Spanish.

"Oh, we need the Falkland Islands... for strategic sheep purposes!"

— Suzy Eddie Izzard

Frozen rocks, penguins, and land mines... Always a winning combination, isn't it? ...Don't answer that. Anyway:

The Falkland Islands (Islas Malvinas in Spanish) are a British overseas territory, located just off South America. It has a population of only 3,000, making it one of the smallest of the British overseas territories and one of the most sparsely populated places in the world.

It's most famous for The Falklands War, although there was also a notable naval battle there at the beginning of World War I. The Falklands War significantly increased the fame (or notoriety) of the Exocet anti-ship missile. The British won, and have spent the following 40 or so years gloating about it. The Argentines lost, claim international bullying, and bring it up and make threatening noises, to which the British once responded by sending their newest destroyer with specially designed anti-aircraft weaponry to patrol around the islands. The rest of the international community mostly ignores it, the United States having decided that it wasn't their problem and Argentina not being important enough to interest China or Russia. The exception is Spain, which also has a bone to pick with the United Kingdom (and funnily enough, that same destroyer spent some time in Gibraltar too...)

Who settled the islands first (there were no indigenous people) is a vexed question, as numerous theoretical claims overlapped and everyone tried to act on them at about the same time: Britain? Spain? France? The United States? Argentina? The Argentines want the islands, or wanted them (there is a dispute about whether the military junta which went to war for them fell because the Argentine people didn't want the war, or merely because they lost the war). But the fact on the ground is that the people on the islands are British citizens (and voted overwhelmingly to remain as such), the islands are currently under British control, and the residents seem to be happy with that arrangement. Anyone in the UK who suggests that the islands ought to be given to the Argentines tends to be shouted down very fast, very loudly, and with no great politeness. Holding the opposite opinion yields the same results in Argentina.

The place has penguins and previously some land mines left from the war. Since penguins aren't heavy enough to set the mines off, they could wander the beaches that humans can't. There was a massive effort to remove these mines; the islands were declared mine-free in October 2020.

In 2010, a British company found oil. Predictably, this has started the argument up again.^note not that Argentina ever quit asking in the first place, of course; the oil only made the argument fire up again. However, the first attempt to find it proved disappointing and the first results poor. Hearts sank a little around the Islands, though there are still apparently a few other prospective, hopeful dig sites.

There seems to be the impression that the Islands are chock full of millionaires. This is probably based on the fact that other UK Overseas Territories, such as the Cayman Islands and the British Virgin Islands, are infamous tax havens. While there are two or three of them kicking around the place, Islanders are, on a whole, not nearly as rich as the assumption and implication seems to be. Millionaires or idiots, anyway.

Most of the Islands' income relies quite heavily on fishing — getting many Jiggers from abroad (Korea, Japan, etc...) — and tourism — because somehow, everything really is better with penguins. Though that isn't the only wildlife people travel to see: There are albatross, sea lions, and more (including an endemic species of fox/canine, but that one is sadly long extinct). And there are some truly beautiful sights both on the East and West Islands.

FICS (Falkland Island Community School) and the Junior School are both modelled quite heavily on UK school systems; however, the year (vacation, breaks and the like) is swapped, as Falklands is in summer when the UK is in winter. Teachers (like other workers in many Departments around the Island) are often brought down on contract from the UK.

If Falkland students wish to go to college (and maybe then onto University) they take the standard GCSE tests, and if they have a suitable amount of points (A* = five points, A = four points, etc.) the Government will pay for them to be sent to the UK — usually to Chichester or Winchester — to study their chosen subjects.

Healthcare is free, but the hospital equipment is far more limited than most anywhere abroad, so it's not rare that someone will be sent either to Santiago or the UK for medical attention.

When oil was discovered in Queen Elizabeth Land (previously known as Edith Ronne Land, but later named after Elizabeth II), situated in Antarctica, the Argentines and Chileans laid claim to it. They also don't like the name.

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Appearances in fiction:

• Many works related to The Falklands War.
• Spitting Image began in 1983 after the war, but commonly used the Falklands as a setting whenever Margaret Thatcher wanted someone Reassigned to Antarctica.
• A full chapter of Lovecraft-themed Point-and-Click Prisoner of Ice is set on a British naval base on the Falklands. It doesn't involve the war against Argentina, as the action is set in 1937.
• Helmholtz, from Brave New World, hated the sweet perfection of the world, and asked to be released to some place with a harsh climate. He was sent to the Falklands.
• Fuckland (aka F***land), a 2000 Dogme '95 film that centers on an Argentinian man's attempt to start a "sexual invasion" by seducing and impregnating a Falklander woman during a week-long stay there.
• Rosas, a biopic of Juan Manuel de Rosas, have a short part of it detailing how the British captured the islands in 1833 and the rebellion of the Gaucho Rivero.

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The Falkland Islander flag

The flag uses the standard design of British colonies: the Union Flag on the canton, superimposed on a blue field. At the right half is the coat-of-arms. The upper half of the shield shows a sheep, the island's principal livestock, standing over blades of the endemic tussock grass; the lower half shows the ship Desire, with which Captain John Davis supposedly discovered the islands. Below the shield is a scroll which reads "Desire the Right".

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The British National Anthem

God save our gracious King!

Long live our noble King!

God save the King!

Send him victorious,

Happy and glorious,

Long to reign over us:

God save the King!

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The Falkland Islander National Song

In my heart there's a call for the isles far away

Where the wind from the Horn often wanders at play.

Where the kelp moves and swells to the wind and the tide

And penguins troop down from the lonely hillside.

Those isles of the sea are calling to me,

The smell of the camp fire a dear memory.

Though far I may roam, some day I’ll come home

To the islands, the Falklands, the isles of the sea.

There's a camp house down yonder I'm longing to see,

Though it's no gilded palace it's there I would be.

Just to be there again I would race o’er the foam,

For that lone house so far is my own home sweet home.

Those isles of the sea are calling to me,

The smell of the camp fire a dear memory.

Though far I may roam, some day I’ll come home

To the islands, the Falklands, the isles of the sea.

Now we’re off to the Falklands, so wild and so free,

Where there's tussock and kelp and the red diddle-dee,

And the wild rugged beauty that thrills more than me

Is bred in the bones on the isles of the sea.

Those isles of the sea are calling to me,

The smell of the camp fire a dear memory.

Though far I may roam, some day I’ll come home

To the islands, the Falklands, the isles of the sea.

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Government

• Devolved parliamentary dependency under a constitutional monarchy
  • Monarch: Charles III
  • Governor: Nigel Phillips
  • Chief Executive: Barry Rowland

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Miscellaneous

• Capital and largest city: Stanley
• Population: 3,398
• Area: 12,200 km

(4,700 sq mi)

• Currency: Falkland Islands pound (£) (FKP)
• ISO-3166-1 Code: FK