open/close all folders
Counties In The Area
It's one of England's smallest counties, and fairly far north from London. It's split into a large area, a smaller area and a town that are represented by unitary authorities in local and national government. Some dissident opinion places Bedfordshire in The Midlands, rather than the Home Counties. The jury is still out on this one.
- Luton: A large multicultural town (it's shockingly only 55% White) with a large Southern Asian community. Home of the River Lea, which eventually flows into the River Thames in London, and owns an airport, which is allowed to be marketed as "London Luton Airport" thanks to pressure from low-fare airlines (as part of their practice of advertising dirt-cheap fares to airports far from the city centre).
- Bedford: A sizeable rural area with business parks, farmland and small villages in its borough, along with the large town of the same name, which can be split into three main parts:
- The Proper: The part in Bedford actually called Bedford, that is home to many suburbs — notably Queen's Park and Brick'ill (Brickhill, if you will).
- Kempston: Arguably the most dominant town in Bedford. Birthplace of the author of The Pilgrim's Progress.
- Wixams: A town that was built between 2007 and 2009.
- Central Bedfordshire: Largely-rural area, but also home to a number of small towns including Flitwick, Ampthill, Sandy, Biggleswade and Leighton Buzzard. The area also contains the town of Dunstable which is physically part of Luton but administratively in Central Bedfordshire. The area's main attraction is Woburn Abbey and its safari park.
Although in the west part of London, Berkshire ("Bark-sheer") is mostly south of the Thames. It's BBC Local radio transmitter is so powerful that it has been known to be picked up from as far away as Cornwall. Or Belgium. Berkshire is split into six unitary authorities for local government purposes.
- West Berkshire: A large rural area with two medium sized towns Newbury and Thatcham.
- Reading (pronounced "redding"): A large town desperate to become a real city.note
- Slough: A large multicultural town that sits on the edge of London (about halfway between Central London and Reading),note it is the only town in England outside London where whites do not form a majority. Formerly a part of Buckinghamshire, but was moved in local government reforms in the 1970s although some of Slough's suburbs such as Burnham still lie in Buckinghamshire. Famously a symbol of everything awful about British urban sprawl: John Betjeman famously wrote a poem inviting "friendly bombs" to fall on Slough when it was first turned from a countryside settlement to an industrial park in the late 1930s, and The Office, that utterly dreary depiction of office life in London's exurbs, is set in Slough.note
- Wokingham: Contains the posh eastern suburbs of Reading (Woodley, Earley, Winnersh and Wokingham) as well as a small rural area. One of England's most prosperous areas and has been named the best place in the country to live a number of times.
- Bracknell Forest: Home to the new town of Bracknell, the military town of Sandhurst, Broadmoor (a high security psychiatric hospital) and Swinley Forest.
- The Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead: The borough includes the town of Windsor, home of Windsor castle and LEGOLAND. It is also home to Eton–Britain's most famous and most posh public (or private) school. The Borough also contains Ascot racecourse, the town of Maidenhead, and the large village of Bray (home to the Vicar of Bray and, for no apparent reason, at least two world-class restaurants).
Northwest of London, and close enough to have London Underground connections at Amersham and Chesham. Mostly green and hilly, but with three large towns (Milton Keynes, Aylesbury and High Wycombe) and a critically-acclaimed good education system. Most of the countryside now belongs to the National Trust. Also home of Pinewood Studios.
East of London, but north of the River Thames, the county is known for Boudiccanote and a stereotype of dumb peroxide blondes, known as "Essex girls" (the British equivalent of valley girls or Jersey girls). The south of the county is mostly urban with a large number of London commuter towns such as Brentwood, Basildon and Billericay which stretch from London's eastern boundary to the seaside town of Southend. The north of the county, near the border with Suffolk is much more rural with the largest towns being Colchester and Clacton (with Jaywick a village near Clacton being notable for being the poorest place in England ). It is also the home of Stansted airport.
- Southend-on-Sea (Unitary Authority): Best known for the world's longest amusement pier, amusement arcades and the Cliffs Pavilion theatre.
- Thurrock (Unitary Authority): Home to Tilbury, the port of London and one of the largest shopping centers in Europe, Lakeside.
Southwest of London, bordering Berkshire to the north and Surrey to the northeast. Duels with Berkshire and Surrey for the status of Most Affluent And Richest County in Great Britain. South Hampshire (Portsmouth and Southampton) is one of the most urbanized areas of the country. The north east of the county along the M3 note (the location of the towns of Aldershot, Farnborough, Fleet and Basingstoke) is also quite urbanized especially around the Berkshire/Surrey/Hampshire border. The rest of the county is mainly rural with large parts in the New Forest and South Downs national parks. The Isle Of Wight was once part of this county but now is its own separate county.
Directly southeast of London. Widely known in tourist literature as "The Garden of England" due to its orchards and hops fields ('hopfields'), though an unfortunate/ignorant EU regulation change has almost entirely destroyed the orchards, and only real beer still uses real hops. Landscape of chalk downs (see Terry Pratchett's 'The Chalk'), the Weald, many small woods, lots of motorways. Nearest county to France and attracts immigrants as a result. Also has the very large Bluewater shopping centre. Dover castle, Rochester castle, Ightham Mote (seen the 'Musgrave Ritual' episode of the Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes series) are just three places worth visiting.
- Quite a bit of The Battle of Britain happened overhead Kent and similar. And not just in the air: with France just over twenty miles away, a lot of long-range artillery duelling went on across the Channel. A plaque on Dover seafront was captured from a German heavy artillery battery overrun in late 1944, and boasts of over four thousand super-heavy shells fired at Kent between 1940 and 1944. A lot of signiifcant damage was caused by German artillery.
- Medway (Unitary Authority): The Former City of Rochester (recently lost status of city due to failure to renew a Royal Warrant), plus Chatham (once a major Naval dockyard and urban legend says it is where the word Chav started), Gillingham, and sundry villages in surrounding area (Hoo, Allhallows, Isle of Grain and many more). Basically the region bordering the Medway estuary (part of the Thames estuary), often linked with wider areas such as Swale, Isle of Sheppey.
- One of the 39 "historic counties of England", Middlesex formally ceased to be in 1965. After a century of attrition and piecemeal loss to Greater London, nearly all the remainder of Middlesex was subsumed by the new Greater London except the Potters Bar district; which was ceded to Hertfordshire, and the district of Spelthorne, which were ceded to Surrey. The greater part went to form the new London boroughs of Brent, Ealing, Enfield, Haringey, Harrow, Hillingdon, and Hounslow. Middlesex lives on in the hearts and minds of people who live there, however. note . Middlesex also lives on as a recognised first-class county side in English cricket. Indeed, its county home, Lords' Cricket Ground in North London, is regarded as the spiritual home of English cricket and by extention world cricket. note
Directly south of London. Definitely a place with a reputation for being snobbish and pretentious, the county town is Guildford although the county council's headquarters are in London (the north of Surrey is mostly parts of London's urban sprawl which aren't in Greater London).
- Has featured in fiction a lot. The War of the Worlds has the aliens start by attacking Woking, Harry Potter's uncle and aunt live in a fictional Surrey Town called Little Whinging and Ford Prefect claimed to be from Guildford. Ali G is from the real Surrey town of Staines which pretentiously changed its name to Staines-upon-Thames to try and become disassociated with the character.
- Also a common filming location.
- It is surprisingly the most wooded of all English counties as well as being the most densely populated non-metropolitan county (metropolitan counties are counties created in the mid 20th century based around large metropolitan areas e.g. Greater Manchester, Greater London, Merseyside and West Yorkshire).
Hertfordshire ("Hert" pronounced like "heart") is directly north of London. Quite an affluent county with parts of the south of the county (near the London border and inside the M25) being notable for having a large Jewish population (with Hertsmere district being the second most Jewish district in England after Barnet in London). This county contains a large number of small towns usually considered satellite towns of London including St Albans, Stevenage, Harpenden, Hemel Hempstead, Watford, Hatfield, Welwyn Garden City, Borehamwood, Potter's Bar, Ware, Cheshunt, Hoddesdon and Hertford.
Northwest of London, cradled by Berkshire to the south and Buckinghamshire to the east. Home of Oxford and its attendant university, which pretty much runs the show in the city proper. Also notable for the Cotswold Hills and Blenheim Palace; the home of Winston Churchill and a number of other rich-and-important types.
South of London, bordering Surrey to the north. Sussex is home to a large number of seaside towns, with Brighton England's Gay capital being the largest; Brighton also elected the first-ever Green MP (Caroline Lucas) to Westminster. The county also contains large parts of the South Downs national park and Gatwick airport located in Crawley the largest non-seaside town in the county.