History UsefulNotes / HomeCounties

Northwest of London, cradled by Berkshire to the south and Buckinghamshire to the east. Home of Oxford and its attendant university, which pretty much runs the show in the city proper. Also notable for the Cotswolds and Blenheim Palace; the latter being where UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill was born. Abbreviated as "Oxon".

** '''Watford''' - a large post-industrial town that's effectively part of Greater London in all but name, given that it's (just) within the M25. The town has several train stations (the main one being Watford Junction, or "the Junction" as it's known locally; the one that's just called "Watford" is a Tube station that's actually some distance from the town centre) and even [[UsefulNotes/BritishFootyTeams a Premier League football team]].
** '''Hemel Hempstead''' - A new town just north of Watford but outside the M25. Notable for its "magic roundabout" [[note]]a giant roundabout comprised of six mini-roundabouts which causes no end of confusion for visiting motorists[[/note]] and for being considered one of England's ugliest towns.
** '''St Albans''' - The only city in Hertfordshire, although it's a city in name but not in size. It's an historic and relatively affluent small town that sits on the M1 and north of the M25 (London's unofficial boundary), seemingly a world apart from its aforementioned ugly neighbours. Particularly well-known for its beautiful cathedral.

East of London and north of the River Thames, the county is known for Boudicca[[note]]Ironically, most probably from Norfolk[[/note]] and a stereotype of dumb peroxide blondes, known as "Essex girls", the British equivalent of {{valley girl}}s or [[{{Joisey}} Jersey girls]]. In fact, Essex has an image in the U.K. which is strikingly close to that of {{Joisey}} in the USA; if the stereotype has any justification, it's mostly because of the south of the county, which is largely urban with a large number of commuter towns such as Brentwood, Basildon and Billericay stretching from London's eastern boundary to the seaside town of Southend, and seaport towns with a relationship to London that mirrors New Jersey's relationship to New York. The north of the county, near the border with [[UsefulNotes/EastAnglia Suffolk]], is much more rural, with some famously pretty spots; the largest towns there are Colchester and Clacton (with Jaywick, a village near Clacton, being notable for being [[http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/mar/29/jaywick-essex-resort-most-deprived the poorest place in England]]). In that sense, it ''also'' mirrors New Jersey in that both have large and pretty rural area that everyone forgets about (except for the seaside parts, and then only in the summer). It is also the home of Stansted Airport.

* '''Luton''': A large multicultural town (by British standards, meaning it's only 55% White) with a large Southern Asian community. This, and a dim reputation, have led to it being referred to as "multicultural without the culture." Source of the River Lea (a major tributary of the Thames) and has its own airport which is marketed as "London Luton Airport" thanks to pressure from low-fare airlines (as part of their practice of advertising dirt-cheap fares to airports far from the city centre). It was recently featured in the 2019 film ''Film/BlindedByTheLight'', which is set in Luton during the late 1980s.

Although in the west part of London, Berkshire ("Bark-sheer") is mostly south of the Thames. It's BBC Local radio transmitter is so powerful that it has been known to be picked up from as far away as Cornwall. Or Belgium. Berkshire (abbreviated as "Berks") is split into six unitary authorities for local government purposes.

* '''Slough''' (rhymes with "cow"): A large multicultural town that sits on the edge of London (about halfway between Central London and Reading),[[note]]About 20 miles from Westminster; just over 17 from Reading[[/note]] it is the only town in England outside London where whites do not form a majority. Formerly a part of Buckinghamshire, but was moved in local government reforms in the 1970s although some of Slough's suburbs such as Burnham still lie in Buckinghamshire. Famously a symbol of everything awful about British urban sprawl, and still seen to be one by a sizeable number of people: John Betjeman famously wrote a poem inviting "friendly bombs" to fall on Slough when it was first turned from a countryside settlement to an industrial park in the late 1930s, and ''[[Series/TheOfficeUK The Office]]'', that utterly dreary depiction of office life in London's exurbs, is set in Slough.[[note]]Oddly, the [[Series/TheOfficeUS American version]] of ''The Office'' is set in Scranton, PA, about halfway between the aforementioned Reading, PA and [[UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity Manhattan]].[[/note]] Slough's sprawl extends outside of the local district, sprawling along the railway line almost into Maidenhead, as well as northwards along arterial roads into the wealthy villages of Farnham Common and Stoke Poges.

* '''Wokingham''': Contains the posh eastern suburbs of Reading (Woodley, Earley, Winnersh and Wokingham) as well as a small rural area. One of England's most prosperous areas and has been named the best place in the country to live a number of times.
* '''Reading''' (pronounced "redding"): The largest town in the inner home counties and desperate to become a real city.[[note]]Oddly, the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reading,_Pennsylvania settlement in America named after it]] has the same problem.... It is also the seat of UsefulNotes/{{Pennsylvania}}'s Berks County--named after Berkshire.[[/note]] It sits on the edge of London's green belt and because of this has grown massively but its boundaries haven't been updated rendering it still officially relatively small.
* '''West Berkshire''': The most rural of all Berkshire's districts, it contains some of Reading's western suburbs as well as two medium sized towns Newbury and Thatcham.

A county to the Northwest of London, abbreviated as "Bucks". It is currently split into two districts but can be best thought of in three seperate parts.
* '''Milton Keynes''': Sitting on the southern edge of the Midland it is Buckinghamshire's northernmost district. A large new town famous for its roundabouts, concrete cows and food delivering robots.
* '''Aylesbury Vale''': Formerly its own separate district until it was abolished in 2020. Its sort of a halfway point between the more Londony South Buckinghamshire and the more distinct identity of Milton Keynes.

East of London and north of the River Thames, the county is known for Boudicca[[note]]Ironically, most probably from Norfolk[[/note]] and a stereotype of dumb peroxide blondes, known as "Essex girls", the British equivalent of {{valley girl}}s or [[{{Joisey}} Jersey girls]]. In fact, Essex has an image in the U.K. which is strikingly close to that of {{Joisey}} in the USA; if the stereotype has any justification, it's mostly because of the south of the county, which is largely urban with a large number of commuter towns such as Brentwood, Basildon and Billericay stretching from London's eastern boundary to the seaside town of Southend, and seaport towns with a relationship to London that mirrors New Jersey's relationship to New York. The north of the county, near the border with [[UsefulNotes/EastAnglia Suffolk]], is much more rural, with some famously pretty spots; the largest towns there are Colchester and Clacton (with Jaywick, a village near Clacton, being notable for being [[http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/mar/29/jaywick-essex-resort-most-deprived the poorest place in England]]). In that sense, it ''also'' mirrors New Jersey in that both have large and pretty rural area that everyone forgets about (except for the seaside parts, and then only in the summer). It is also the home of Stansted airport.

* '''Southend-on-Sea''' (Unitary Authority): Best known for the world's longest amusement pier, amusement arcades and the Cliffs Pavilion theatre.

* '''South Hampshire''' - The cities of Portsmouth, Southampton and Winchester form a metropolitan area on Hampshire's south coast. Its one of the largest in England and has a population over a million.

* '''New Forest''' and the '''South Downs''' - The county of Hampshire is blessed with two national parks, 2 more than most other English counties. The New Forest is the older national park, consisting of unsurprisingly a forest as well as open heathland. Its famous for its free roaming new forest ponies. The South Downs national park is a much more recent creation and by far the less picturesque of the two. Many cynics believe the main reason it was created was to just limit housing development in the area and hence to push up the already absurd house prices even further.

Hertfordshire (the "Hert" is pronounced like "heart") is directly north of London. Abbreviated as "Herts", it's one of the most affluent counties and also the location of a large number of 20th century new towns. Its best thought of in four parts, depending on which motorway or railway line its closest to.

** '''St Albans''' - The only city in Hertfordshire, although it's a city in name but not in size. It's an historic and relatively affluent small town that sits on the M1 and north of the M25 (London's unofficial boundary), seemingly a world apart from its aforementioned ugly neighbours.

*** Hatfield House and Knebworth House are both popular filming locations; the former was the actual location for some of the historical events which have been recreated on film there, while the latter has served as both [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Wayne Manor]] and [[Film/GreystokeTheLegendOfTarzanLordOfTheApes Greystoke Manor]].

* '''Hertford and Broxbourne''' - The county is named for the town of Hertford which is one of the county's smallest towns. The town doesnt sit on any motorway like the other towns in the county but has two stations sitting on the Hertford Loop Line and the Hertford East Branch Line. The latter of which branches off the main line at Broxbourne. Broxbourne and its neighbouring towns such as Hoddesdon and Cheshunt, form a linear urban peninsula coming out of London snaking north along the railway. The area was considered for inclusion in Greater London back in the 1960s but was ultimately excluded from the county.

Directly southeast of London. Widely known in tourist literature as "The Garden of England" due to its orchards and hops fields ('hopfields'), though an unfortunate/ignorant EU regulation change has almost entirely destroyed the orchards, and only real beer still uses real hops. Landscape of chalk downs (see Terry Pratchett's 'The Chalk'), the Weald, many small woods, lots of motorways. Nearest county to France and attracts immigrants as a result. Also has the very large Bluewater shopping centre. Canterbury Cathedral, Dover castle, Leeds Castle, Rochester Castle and Ightham Mote (seen the 'Musgrave Ritual' episode of the Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes series) are just five places worth visiting.

* One of the 39 historic counties of England, Middlesex -- abbreviated as "Middx" -- formally ceased to be in 1965. After a century of attrition and piecemeal loss to the ever-expanding metropolis, nearly all the remainder of Middlesex was subsumed by the newly-created Greater London except for Potters Bar (which was ceded to Hertfordshire) and Spelthorne (which went to Surrey). The greater part went to form the new London boroughs of Barnet, Brent, Ealing, Enfield, Haringey, Harrow, Hillingdon, and Hounslow. Middlesex lives on in the hearts and minds of people who live there, however [[note]] in much the same way that Rutland folk seriously resented their county's absorbtion into Leicestershire, and people in Stockport do not ''dream'' of putting "Greater Manchester" on their postal addresses, people who live in places like Edgware, Twickenham and Uxbridge will write out their addresses as being in Middlesex, not London. English people, be they Midlanders, Northerners or Southerners, do not take kindly to imposed changes of this nature [[/note]]. Middlesex also lives on as a recognised first-class county side in English cricket. Indeed, its home, Lord's Cricket Ground in St John's Wood, is regarded as the spiritual home of English cricket -- and, by extension, of cricket in general. [[note]]MCC stands for "Marylebone Cricket Club", however, not "Middlesex Cricket Club"; the latter, actually Middlesex ''County'' Cricket Club, are merely the tennants of the former.[[/note]]

Directly south of London. Definitely a place with a reputation for being snobbish and pretentious, the county town is Guildford although the county council's headquarters are in London (the north of Surrey is mostly London suburbs which fiercely resisted incorporation into Greater London primarily for tax avoidance purposes).

* Despite jokes about Surrey being the "Patio of England" (a reference to Kent's long-standing nickname as the "Garden of England"), Surrey is surprisingly the most wooded of all English counties as well as being the most densely populated non-metropolitan county (metropolitan counties are counties created in the mid 20th century based around large metropolitan areas e.g. Greater Manchester, Greater London, Merseyside and West Yorkshire).

* One of the 39 historic counties of England, Middlesex -- abbreviated as "Middx" -- formally ceased to be in 1965. After a century of attrition and piecemeal loss to the ever-expanding metropolis, nearly all the remainder of Middlesex was subsumed by the newly-created Greater London except for Potters Bar (which was ceded to Hertfordshire) and Spelthorne (which went to Surrey). The greater part went to form the new London boroughs of Barnet, Brent, Ealing, Enfield, Haringey, Harrow, Hillingdon, and Hounslow. Middlesex lives on in the hearts and minds of people who live there, however [[note]] in much the same way that Rutland folk seriously resented their county's absorbtion into Leicestershire, and people in Stockport do not ''dream'' of putting "Greater Manchester" on their postal addresses, people who live in places like Edgware, Enfield and Harrow will write out their addresses as being in Middlesex, not London. English people, be they Midlanders, Northerners or Southerners, do not take kindly to imposed changes of this nature. [[/note]]. Middlesex also lives on as a recognised first-class county side in English cricket. Indeed, its home, Lord's Cricket Ground in St John's Wood, is regarded as the spiritual home of English cricket -- and, by extension, of cricket in general. [[note]]MCC stands for "Marylebone Cricket Club", however, not "Middlesex Cricket Club"; the latter, actually Middlesex ''County'' Cricket Club, are merely the tennants of the former.[[/note]]

Northwest of London, cradled by Berkshire to the south and Buckinghamshire to the east. Home of Oxford and its attendant university, which pretty much runs the show in the city proper. Also notable for the Cotswold Hills and Blenheim Palace; the home of UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill and a number of other rich-and-important types. Abbreviated as "Oxon".

South of London, bordering Surrey to the north. Sussex is home to a large number of seaside towns, with [[{{Gayborhood}} Brighton England's Gay capital]] being the largest; Brighton also elected [[UsefulNotes/BritishPoliticalSystem the first-ever Green MP (Caroline Lucas) to Westminster]]. The county also contains large parts of the South Downs national park and Gatwick airport located in Crawley the largest non-seaside town in the county.

* One of the 39 historic counties of England, Middlesex -- abbreviated as "Middx" -- formally ceased to be in 1965. After a century of attrition and piecemeal loss to the ever-expanding metropolis, nearly all the remainder of Middlesex was subsumed by the newly-created Greater London except for Potters Bar (which was ceded to Hertfordshire) and Spelthorne (which went to Surrey). The greater part went to form the new London boroughs of Barnet, Brent, Ealing, Enfield, Haringey, Harrow, Hillingdon, and Hounslow. Middlesex lives on in the hearts and minds of people who live there, however. [[note]] in much the same way that Rutland folk seriously resented their county's absorbtion into Leicestershire, and people in Stockport do not ''dream'' of putting "Greater Manchester" on their postal addresses - despite officialdom telling them they're no longer in Cheshire, nobody believes it and it's still "Stockport, '''Cheshire'''" for postal purposes. British people, regardless of being North, Midlands or South, do not take kindly to imposed change of this nature. [[/note]]. Middlesex also lives on as a recognised first-class county side in English cricket. Indeed, its home, Lord's Cricket Ground in St John's Wood, is regarded as the spiritual home of English cricket -- and, by extension, of cricket in general. [[note]]MCC stands for "Marylebone Cricket Club", however, not "Middlesex Cricket Club"; the latter, actually Middlesex ''County'' Cricket Club, are merely the tennants of the former.[[/note]]

Although in the west part of London, Berkshire ("[[ItsPronouncedTropAy Bark-sheer]]") is mostly south of the Thames. It's BBC Local radio transmitter is so powerful that it has been known to be picked up from as far away as Cornwall. Or Belgium. Berkshire (abbreviated as "Berks") is split into six unitary authorities for local government purposes.

* The birthplace of Creator/WarwickDavis, Creator/EricSykes, Creator/LilyJames, Creator/NatashaMcElhone, Maurice Gibb of Music/TheBeesGees and others.

* The home of ''Series/WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire'' UK host Chris Tarrant, accomplished character actor Creator/EricSykes and ''Series/DowntonAbbey''/''Film/Cinderella2015'' star Creator/LilyJames.

* The home of ''Series/WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire'' UK host Chris Tarrant, accomplished character actor Creator/ErickSykes and ''Series/DowtonAbbey''/''Film/Cinderella2015'' star Creator/LilyJames.