Tear Jerker / Feralnette AU

General:

• The core premise of the series: Marinette cracks under the constant pressure of being expected to be the Ideal Heroine while constantly getting blamed for everything that goes wrong, with more and more responsibilities piled upon her shoulders. She decides that if something has to give, it's best to sacrifice herself first, giving up on her friendships, hobbies, social life... everything outside of the obligation to continue attending classes and other inescapable expectations. Marinette is broken, and while this hasn't escaped notice, few of her friends and loved ones have any idea how to even begin approaching the problem.
• One of the primary reasons why Marinette is so traumatized is thanks to Bunnyx dragging her into the Bad Future and insisting she was completely at fault for how horribly that timeline turned out. Making this worse is how Bunnyx is completely misunderstanding her role — it's her responsibility to trim dead branches off the timeline, but she's stretched that out into treating any deviation from what she knows as an Expendable Alternate Universe, and putting the onus onto Marinette to fix any problems that arise, whether they're actual issues or simply don't conform to what she believes is "correct".

Chapter 1: Enough Rope:

• While she absolutely needed to hear it, Alya is outright crushed by Ladybug spelling out how her Skewed Priorities have turned the Ladyblog into a dangerous source of misinformation, and that she's being blacklisted by her idol until and unless she can turn it around and start conducting herself like the Intrepid Reporter she wants to be.
  • Lila then exploits Alya's fragile mental state to convince her that they're both being unfairly blamed by Ladybug. Alya's expressions show how she's clearly conflicted, but still desperately wants to believe that she's not at fault for their falling out.
• Chloé, of all people, recognizes and empathizes with how much Marinette has changed, being thoroughly convinced that Hawkmoth is responsible for both their suffering. Her tearful outburst drives how much stress both of them are under, along with everyone else forced to deal with Hawkmoth's presence in Paris.
  Chloé: I'm not STUPID! It's because of him that you've changed, isn't it?! He changed me, too! Even when he's not in my head it's like he's here anyway! He acts like we're friends, like he knows me - it's so fucked! He puts an akuma in me and I feel special and in control of everything, and it hurts if I try to stop! I feel so sick! And, and now you're mean, and you don't want to talk to your friends or even Adrien, and you're learning how to box and you're so angry. He hurt you too, didn't he? He made you do something or, or see something, and everything changed and now you can't get it out of your head—
  (Marinette flashes back to the memory of watching her future self's body dissolving away at her touch, face still frozen in horror)

Chapter 2: Even a Worm will Turn:

• Alya proves to have completely missed the point Ladybug was trying to make... or is frantically trying to ignore it, anyway, as she throws herself into trying to get live footage of White Knight in hopes of getting a chance to talk to Ladybug and try to convince her she's got it all wrong. Felix points out that she's only making matters worse with her reckless disregard for everyone she's putting in harm's way.
• After White Knight is dealt with, Alya offers to walk home with Marinette, only to immediately blow it by suggesting Mari is only trying to befriend Felix in order to get closer to Adrien. As Marinette invokes Headphones Equal Isolation and stalks off, Lila suggests that Alya's guess was right on the mark, latching onto this new avenue for Malicious Slander.

Chapter 3: Birds of a Feather:

• Marinette suffers a Catapult Nightmare where she dreams of drowning, along with being throttled until she can't hold her breath any longer. As Tikki tries to comfort her, the other kwami hover anxiously, sadly observing that while "Time heals all wounds", she hasn't been given any time to recover.
  Wayzz: Every time an akuma attacks, the pain is fresh, the wound reopened.
  • When Sass tells her that "Thisss pain isss not forever. Thisss too ssshall passsss," Marinette responds with a quiet, tentative "...you promise?"
• Marinette getting 'volunteered' to make Mylène's dream costume. Even with Felix stepping up to point out that she has her own plans and priorities, it's clear he's the only other person in that classroom who actually believes that she has any right to choose how she spends her own free time... or at least, is the only one willing to say anything in her defense.
  • When Ms. Bustier 'cheerfully' reminds her that she needs to maintain a "persistently optimistic attitude", Marinette's eyes empty out as she sighs. While she calmly calls her teacher out, she does so with the clear expectation that her words won't make a lick of difference, as Bustier clearly doesn't care about her opinion or comfort.
• Mari then spells out for Felix why she doesn't bother fighting back:
  Marinette: You think I put up with that shit because I'm a coward? You have the luxury of fighting back with sass and lies without consequence. But not everyone is some pretty blonde from England with a rich mom and famous family. Sometimes people are baker's daughters who have to choose their battles. Sometimes you have to choose between personal happiness and risking an akuma. The best thing I can do in my position is survive this and endure it. Or else someone's tantrum will summon Hawkmoth again. I appreciate you backing me up, and the sass is funny, but if you're going to scold me afterwards, you can save it. I get enough criticism from Bustier.
  • She also explains how Lila got away with getting her expelled with her Blatant Lies because "The school just didn't care."
    Marinette: She even confessed to lying later, and was rewarded for it. And every time someone confronts her about it... she gets akumatized. Has to get rescued. Plays the pity card. The cycle repeats, she's a victim again.
• After Gabriel botches his attempt to repair the Peacock Pin, Nooroo fearfully asks Duusu if they're still there, getting no response from the inert Miraculous.
• While discussing how ridiculous Hawkmoth's designs are, Felix asks if Marinette has a least-favorite Akuma. She quietly answers "yes."
  Felix: Well, I'm guessing they dressed atrociously. All neons and bright, saturated colors.
  Marinette: No. They were dressed like a friend.
• Alya furiously turns upon Lila when her False Friend goes too far by threatening to Blackmail Felix with their own gender identity. Witnessing this, Marinette is struck by how she doesn't feel any satisfaction at seeing Lila finally getting called out on her crap.
  • Made worse by Lila calling out Alya for repeatedly jumping to conclusions and talking over her. Alya tries to keep calm but a combination of Villain Has a Point and blatant overreacting nearly get Alya akumatized on the spot.
  • Keep in mind, up until now, Alya has done nothing but support and agree with Lila for the whole story. Even to her own detriment, and in violation of common sense. Yet once she calls Lila out once, she's immediately accused of being a Manipulative Bitch herself. This perfectly illustrates Lila's hypocrisy, and just how deep she has her claws into Alya.
• Sabine finds out that Marinette was wrongfully punished and tells her that she should have told her instead of trying to handle the situation herself. She then asks her daughter if the reason she didn't come to her was because of how she handled Marinette's wrongful expulsion. Marinette doesn't answer.
  • Making this worse is how Sabine learned about this. Luka worried that somebody else would contact her parents first, twisting the narrative to get Marinette in trouble. So he went to the bakery and told her first... unintentionally hurting Marinette in the process, as it meant she didn't get a chance to share her side of the story, and Sabine was already worried when she walked in.
• Alya, Nino and Adrien wind up visiting the Dupain-Cheng bakery in order to hide from Lila following a big blowup. Alya confesses that she still wants things to work out:
  Alya: The worst part is, I still want to be proven wrong. That all those weeks of going to bat for Lila meant something. That this is just... a bad day, and tomorrow she'll be my close friend again. I invested so much into our friendship, put so much stupid faith into how friendly and nice and interesting she was... only to realize that she's an asshole to so many other people. And she's not nice to me because I'm an exception. She was... being nice to me because I'm a dumb fool.
• After a long, long day filled with ups and downs, Marinette winds up having another nightmare about Chat Blanc, where he effortlessly murders her while purring "Remember I love you." She winds up wide awake, unwilling to risk another bad dream, having only gotten a few precious hours' worth of sleep.
• When Marinette asks Felix why they're helping Chloe, they turns the question back around on her, refusing to accept her initial answers and pressing until she snaps. Her resulting rant barely even scratches the surface of what she's been through, but is enough to leave Felix wide-eyed as they realize they crossed the line again.
  Felix: You're throwing excuses at me. If you won't tell me your motivations, I won't tell you mine.
  Marinette: Excuses-? (she glares him down as an image of a smiling Fu appears behind her) My excuse is that he took the one adult I could rely on from me. (another memory shows Chat Blanc exulting in his destruction) My excuse is that he turned my best friend into a monster and Ladybug fixed it, but all little Marinette could do was watch. I'm never going to see them again — he turned into a monster and he begged me for help — and the one person I could tell about all this shit, Hawkmoth destroyed. Those are my excuses. Did Hawkmoth kill your friends, Felix?
  • Then Felix explains that in a way, she was Right for the Wrong Reasons: both they and their mother Amilie believe that Gabriel had something to do with his wife's disappearance. While Marinette sums up their situation — that he's currently living with his prime suspect — Felix stims so hard that their bracelet breaks, sending them into a full-fledged panic attack. Marinette swiftly repairs it, then apologizes for pushing so hard:
    Felix: S'my fault. I knew it would be hhhard to talk about. But I just wanted for someone to believe me. d-don't tell Adrien. he loves hhh...his father.
    Marinette: I already promised to keep it a secret.
    Felix: I didn't even tt-tell Chloe about the details... She knows Gabriel is a (mumbles) Bad. you're the first I've talked to about it. I mis-hhh... I m-mm... I miss her...
    Marinette: I'm sorry.
    Felix: I'm scared of what the truth might be.
• When Rose accidentally learns about Felix's ballet troupe, Marinette internally panics about how the other girl is likely to reveal this to Lila and the others, stripping away her friend's safe space. Felix and Kagami also make clear that they're not comfortable with Lila being anywhere around them, with Rose seeming to completely miss the point of their protests... and Marinette looks completely defeated as she makes her own appeal to Rose:
  Rose: Wow, everyone here has so much energy! I'll bet Lila will for sure find some sort of sport or club to play in!
  Felix and Kagami: NO!
  Felix: I don't want that horrible girl anywhere near my class.
  Kagami: Don't you know how uncomfortable and miserable she makes Adrien? And me?
  Felix: And me.
  Kagami: You'd better not tell her that I'm here, or that Mari was here, for that matter.
  Felix: Why are you still friends with her?! She's manipulative!
  Kagami: Selfish.
  Felix: She lies like she breathes! Loudly, and obnoxiously!
  Kagami: She doesn't consider anyone's boundaries.
  Rose: She's not like that, I promise~!
  Marinette: Enough. (Rose turns to see how she's resting her head against the wall) Rose... just because someone acts a certain way around you doesn't mean... they act that way towards others. ...but you're her friend. So there's no reason to keep arguing. Just... do Felix and Kagami a favor. And let them have a safe place.
  Rose: ...what?
  • Rose's response leaves it unclear whether or not Marinette's words actually sunk in. But it's painfully obvious that Marinette herself doesn't expect them to make any difference. And she's not addressing Rose as her friend, only acknowledging that she's friends with Lila.
  • Then the very next part reveals that Marinette was right: the moment she leaves with Kagami, Rose is texting Lila, ready to completely ignore everything they just said because she'd rather not acknowledge that there's anything wrong. Felix calls her out on it, but that doesn't make it any less discouraging that it takes Felix standing there glaring her down for her to reconsider. Something both he and Rose note.
• Kagami confides in Marinette that she's been feeling neglected by one of her friends. While he's perfectly happy to go well out of his way to make plans with anyone else, he's only willing to spend time with her if she's literally the only option he has left and nobody else is available. And while she's tried bringing this up with them, he keeps reacting as though she's selfish for wanting to be treated like the rest. Who's she talking about? None other than Adrien, though she carefully avoids using his name while explaining the situation, afraid that would alter Marinette's response.
  • Marinette also freely acknowledges that she hasn't made any effort to salvage her own strained friendships, as she doesn't see the point in doing so while Lila is still around and has her hooks so deep in everyone.
• Sabine is not happy that Marinette had snuck Felix into her room in the middle of the night without their permission. But then she has this conversation with her husband:
  Sabine: Honey, we're supposed to be scolding Marinette!
  Tom: For having friends?
  Sabine: For sneaking her friends into her room!
  Tom: But... she hasn't gone out to visit any friends for so long... I would rather she has friends that sneak in than no friends at all.
  Sabine: I understand. And it is important that Marinette have her fun with her friends. But sneaking them in, not informing us? If she had just told us, trusted us-
  Tom: But she doesn't. She doesn't trust us, Sabine. And I can't find it in myself to punish her for being hesitant when we betrayed her trust. I know that look on your face, you feel the same way.
• Marinette is perfectly willing to let Instructor Serbrus and Lila kick her out of the recital hall in order to protect Felix's secret for a little while longer. While Instructor Dante steps up to defend her, it's painfully clear that she's so accustomed to adults being useless that she doesn't know how to respond.
• Reflecting upon her relationship with Adrien, Kagami notes that while she sees them as a couple, her supposed boyfriend doesn't appear to share the sentiment, and she asks herself "Has he ever? even once." Musing that she might have completely misinterpreted matters and that he simply doesn't care about her in the same fashion. Though she swiftly musters the resolve to change that, it's a sobering moment all the same.
• After witnessing Marinette getting snared and tossed around by the akumatized Serbrus, Alya shows Anger Born of Worry... but Marinette can't see past the Ladyblogger's hypocrisy, dismissing her honest concern as nothing more than Alya's Moral Myopia being on full display:
  Alya: Marinette, you have to listen to me — this is SERIOUS!
  Marinette: yeeeuuup I'm sure it is.
  Alya: Can you stop being so nonchalant!! Your LIFE was in danger! You can't just run off and do stuff like that!
  Marinette: ...the rules are always different for everyone else, huh?
  Alya: ...what?
  Marinette: (freeing her arm and dusting herself off) Never mind. It's nothing.
  Alya: No, it's not NOTHING. Why won't you listen to me about this? It's not like I'm overreacting!
  Marinette: (gets up onto the collapsed staircase so she can look down at her) Sure, let's have this conversation now. So, it's fine when you, the blogger, run off to follow dangerous akuma for social media, but if I run off to try to help people, it's time for me to be lectured?
  Alya: That — wait, that's not the same! I'm not trying to fight an akuma!
  Marinette: I wasn't trying to fight her either. I was trying to distract her till I realized she wasn't going to let me leave. (tilts head) The difference is that ever since you started regularly hanging out with Lila, you assume the worst of me.
  Alya: You know I'm trying to figure out my whole situation with Lila... and I don't think the worst of you.
  Marinette: No, no, you do. But to be fair, the entire class does. It's not hard to manipulate a group of people... Children especially. Probably why Hawkmoth prefers to take them instead of adults...
  • She goes on to reminiscence about Master Fu, noting that she's already started to forget how the tea he brewed smelled, or what kind of patterns covered his shirts. A tag on the update implies that she's only reflecting upon this in front of Alya because she's concussed and half-delirious.
• In the following strip, Marinette recounts how her friendship with Alya fell apart, upon her realizing that her former friend had fallen into Theory Tunnelvision again — no matter what she did or how she reacted, Alya would just take it as evidence of the conclusions she'd already drawn:
  Marinette: ...There was a time not long ago where you demanded to know why I changed, and whether or not I was as terrible as Lila claimed I was. I didn't want to talk about Lila. I just wanted to hang out with you, because I'd just gone through something unimaginably cruel and painful. You took my silence on the topic as guilt. You wouldn't drop it. You insisted on answers, so I lashed out, wanting space. I didn't want to think about some stupid, vapid drama. I didn't want to think about Lila. I didn't want to think about anything.
  You left. That's fine. But you left, and you decided on your own terms that my reaction was proof of some insane lie rather than a cry for help. That's when I started to realize, there really wasn't anything I could say or do that would change what you thought of me. That's fine. I don't intend to try.
  What's not fine is expecting me to cater to your expectations anymore, especially since I'm the only one in our entire class who sees Akuma as legitimate threats. Yeah, I did realize how dangerous it was to confront an Akuma. Yeah, I did know that I could get seriously hurt. And yeah, it DID hurt when I was flung around like trash, and when my slapstick plan to trap her didn't work. Just because I failed doesn't mean I don't know the risks I take.
  Alya: Marinette—
  Marinette: Enough, Alya.
  Alya: Marinette, if you had just told me you were going through some sort of a crisis, I wouldn't have—
  Marinette: So it's my fault again?
  • This leads into Alya having an Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap! moment, as she tries to explain that she would have given her the benefit of the doubt, only to realize how Lila would have twisted everything around and turned her further against Marinette.
    Alya: She always wanted to know how you responded to stuff and I never even wondered why, just assumed she was shy or nervous around you... She was playing mind games and I didn't... even see it. Didn't notice. Didn't think. You've never been a menace to Lila, have you. You started acting like a marble statue because something bad happened to you. And I'd never seen you act like that before, so I just assumed Lila was right. Because... the alternative was that I was a bad friend.
    Marinette: It's always easier to believe someone playing the victim. After all, the alternative to that is blaming the suffering party.
    Alya: But I did that. I pointed the finger at you and didn't even realize you were hurt.
  • This is followed by Marinette declaring her intention to bring down Hawkmoth, in a way that makes clear just how much she blames herself for not being able to stop all the pain he's already caused.
    Marinette: When you don't have backup anymore, you need better equipment. When you don't have quantity, you need quality. I have to be stronger, stronger than the monster who hurts my friends. I have to be better than Hawkmoth.

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Original Vignettes:

• Adrien and Felix attempt to convince Marinette that she needs to stop risking her lives against akumas, but she's completely uninterested — and her dismissive non-reaction reminds Adrien of a past confrontation with Ladybug where the roles were flipped. But while Marinette is simply looking away from them, Chat Noir outright laughed in Ladybug's face, completely blowing off her concerns — after all, what did it matter if he got hurt or even killed by akuma, when he knew she'd just bring him back with her Miraculous Cure? Only in retrospect does Ladybug's tearful expression register with him, as Adrien has a full-on Jerkass Realization about how he treated her.
• Chloé casually observes that Marinette is obviously traumatized, revealing that she talked to her mother about it, much to Adrien's surprise:
  Adrien: You cared enough to ask your mom?
  Chloé: Don't get it twisted, Adrikins. It takes a lot of effort to be nice, and something made that bakery girl decide being nice wasn't worth it anymore. I don't care, but I AM worried. Whatever pushed her to turning venomous like that must've been one hell of a bad day, or one hell of a terrible person. I'd like to avoid it if I can, thank you very much.
• One snippet shows that Felix suspects that Marinette might be Ladybug, reaching out to one of her ears while silently contemplating whether or not he should betray her trust and try stealing the Earrings from her. Not because he wants that power for himself, but because he fears it might be the only way of saving her from herself.

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