Wizards and Warriors is a CBS television series from 1983.
Welcome to the magical continent of Aparens, which is currently divided into two warring realms; in the south we have Camarand, home of goodness and truth, and in the north, the darksome land of Karteia. Guess which side we are supposed to be rooting for.
Unfortunately, though Prince Erik Greystone, champion of Camarand, is golden haired and usually dressed in golden lame, his opposite number the villainous Prince Dirk Blackpool is dark, sultry and dresses in black leather with studs. Seldom has evil looked so delicious.
Prince Erik's allies include the great wizard Traquill and Erik's faithful squire Marko, who is not only tremendously strong but can talk to animals. It's a gift - from his godfather Traquill. And then there is Belladona. Beautiful, scantily dressed Belladona that nobody but Erik can see and hear but who pops up regularly with delphic utterances that are less than helpful - not that Erik cares. And then there's Erik's betrothed, the airheaded princess Ariel Baaldorf. Her father, the noble King Baaldorf (Camarand has multiple monarchs) loyally supports Erik in his battle against evil but has far closer ties to wicked Prince Dirk than one would expect.
On the other side luscious Prince Blackpool has his own wizard, Vector, who does NOT wear a hat. And sultry sorceress Bethel who wants to be Queen of Aparens, though magic and royal blood are NOT supposed to mix. She and Dirk prefer to regard this particular rule as a guideline.
Recurring characters include Prince Blackpool's hopeless younger brother Geoffrey, who has a thing for Ariel who has a thing for Dirk (get in line your highness!). Erik is also afflicted with a brother, the decidedly anti-heroic Prince Justin Greystone who resignedly comes to his brother's assistance when he absolutely has to. Ariel has a long suffering handmaiden, Cassandra, who is required to wear a stupid hat. And the princess clearly inherited her lack of intelligence from her mother Queen Lattinia Baaldorf. And then there are the well known Winslow sisters - very well known, it is rumored, to Prince Justin.
This was a "summer" replacement series (actually early Spring 1983) and only eight episodes were run. Most of them were directed by Bill Bixby.
NOT to be confused with the video game series.
This show provides examples of:
- Aerith and Bob: Traquill, Saris, Tronin, and Lattinia to Dirk, Justin, Cassandra, and the like.
- Amplifier Artifact: Both Wizards and Witches make use of large crystal pendants called 'Monocles' to boost their magical power. Oftentimes they will actually brandish the crystal as they cast a spell, much like a Wand-user brandishes their wand, but this doesn't seem to be a requirement. At one point in the series, Dirk enlists the aid of Bethel to steal Vector's Monocle. With it in his position, Dirk is immune to direct magical attacks from Vector... though this doesn't prevent the wizard from scheming to kill the Prince by other means. Interestingly, despite the loss of his amplifier, Vector continues to perform extraordinary feats of magic.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Prince Justin Greystone.
- Flynning: It's a good thing Greystone's sword is enchanted, or it would surely have broken under the repeated clashing of blades.
- Good Is Dumb: Even though Prince Erik is usually shown to be at least moderately clever, the side of good is heavily weighted towards stupidity. King Baaldorf, his queen, and especially the princess Ariel are all quite dim. Erik's sidekick Marco is also fairly slow on the uptake.
- Hell-Bent for Leather: See above. Rarely has S&M looked so good.
- Knight in Shining Armor: Erik Greystone, only he is most usually seen in golden lame.
- Leg Focus: Bethel's outfits left little to the imagination, and her legs were always prominently displayed.
- Maid and Maiden: Princess Ariel and her loyal Cassandra.
- Magical Girlfriend: Erik's lovely, enigmatic Belladona and Dirk's bitch-goddess Bethel.
- Really Gets Around: The infamous Winslow sister seem to be known - in every sense of the word - to about every man in Aparens.
- Really 700 Years Old: Let's just say slinky, sexy Bethel is a LOT older than she looks.
- Shout-Out: Since the whole series (all of eight episodes) was a parody of a very well-explored genre these came by the dozens.
- But other genres weren't ignored either.
Vendor: "Badgers? You don' need no steenkeen badgers." - Snark-to-Snark Combat: Erik and Marko are tied up as a threat approaches:Erik: "You're the strongest man in the kingdom and your arms are free!"Marko: "What do you want me to do? Rip one off and throw it at him?"
- Wizards Live Longer: Traquill has apparently been around forever - and so has Bethel.
- Yet Another Christmas Carol: The Wizards and Warriors fansite has a script called "Kartian Carol" where Dirk's father, Saris, tells him he'll be visited by three ghosts: The Ghost of Solstice Past (Ariel), Solstice Present (Justin), and Solstice Future (Vector). Subverted throughout. Instead of correcting his past mistakes, Dirk uses the information he learns (like that King Tronin will betray their alliance) to his advantage (by using Tronin for target practice).
