, this or this before or while you're reading the article).Scott Carl Rechsteiner (born July 29, 1962), more popularly known as- GIMME THE FUCKIN' KEYBOARD!
ALL RIGHT, ALL YOU WHITE TRASH AND REDNECKS! TODAY, YOU HAVE CONVERGED UPON THIS "TEE-VEE TROPES" WEBSITE TO LEARN ALL ABOUT THE ONE AND ONLY BIG POPPA PUMP! BUT I'M CERTAIN THAT, BEYOND THAT NO-GOOD JABRONI HULK HOGAN, YOU'VE RUN INTO ALL KINDS OF CANDY ASSES WHO THINK THEY CAN BEAT ME!
- THAT "SCIENTIST" FROM "MO-BEE-US" WHO I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF! I think it was either Eggman or Robotnik- whatever HE WAS A CANDY-ASS SCRUB OTHERWISE! COULDN'T EVEN CAPTURE "THAT HEDGEHOG" TO SAVE HIS LIFE! IF I WERE HIM, I WOULD HAVE FRANKENSTEIN'D HIS BLUE ASS A LONG TIME AGO!note
- THAT SIMP DRAGON WHO HAS TO RESORT TO KIDNAPPIN' JUST TO QUENCH HIS THIRST FOR LOVE!
- THAT DRUNK RUSKIE WHO HAS MORE BULLETS IN HIS GUN THAT CELLS IN HIS BRAIN!
- THAT OLD FART APE WHO LOST HIS GLORY YEARS AGO!note
- THAT CANADIAN SONUVABITCH WHO TORTURES TEENAGERS ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!
- THAT "PRINCE OF ALL SAYINGS" WHO'S CONFUSED BY LARGE NUMBERS!note
BUT LEMMA TELL YA SOMETHIN', BIG POPPA PUMP IS PROBABLY THE BEST PERSON YOU'VE MET ALL DAY WHILE ROTTIN' YOUR BRAIN ON THIS HERE WEBSITE! YOU SEE, I GOT MY START IN INDIANAPOLIS AND MEMPHIS BEFORE BECOMING A TWO-TIME SUPERSTAR IN THAT CESSPOOL THAT WAS WCW. I WAS ALSO IN THE WWE — THOSE BASTARDS DIDN'T LET ME INTO THEIR HALL OF FAME FOR YEARS! — AND TNA. I'M A FORMER WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, A TWO TIME WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, A TWO TIME WCW TELEVISION CHAMPION, A SIX TIME WCW TAG TEAM CHAMPION WITH MY BRUDDA RICK, AND I'VE HELD A BUNCHA OTHER TITLES YOU'D WASTE EVEN MORE OF YOUR BRAIN CELLS ON LEARNIN' ABOUT BECAUSE THEY DON'T MATTER — BIG POPPA PUMP HAS HELD THEM AND MADE THEM HAVE A 33 1/3 CHANCE OF BEING MORE PRESTIGIOUS.
TO ALL MY FREAKS OUT THERE, BIG POPPA PUMP HAS GOT YOUR HOOKUP. HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
TROPES ASSOCIATED WITH THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY
- ANGRISH: THAT IRON SHEIK AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON BIG POPPA PUMP!
- ASCENDED MEME: YEAH, BIG POPPA PUMP IS GIVIN' BACK TO THE COMMUNITY! ANYBODY WHO KNOWS THE STEINER MATH FORMULA IS 63.3% SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE CANDY-ASS! IF YOU'VE SEEN THAT NWA POWER SHOW, YOU KNOW THAT I'VE HONORED ALL THOSE "MEMES" THEY'VE MADE OUTTA ME.
- BERSERK BUTTON: WHADDYA MEAN HURRICANRANA?!? IT'S A FRANKENSTEINER!!! UNDERSTAND?!?
- BOISTEROUS BRUISER: I LOVE BEATIN' PEOPLE UP.
- THE CASANOVA: THE LADIES LOVE THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY!
- COOL SHADES: YEAH, MY SUNGLASSES GIVE ME THE POWER TO KICK YOUR ASS!
- DELUSlONS OF ELOQUENCE: SCREW YOU! I AIN'T GOT NO "DELUSIONS"! I'M FROM A HIGHLY-EDUCATED UNIVERSITY, ASSHOLE!
- DRIVES LIKE CRAZY: TRAFFIC LAWS ARE FOR PUSSIES! I GAVE MY BOY PETEY WILLIAMS THE BEST CAR RIDE HE COULD EVER WISH FOR! AND THAT SEAGULL HAD IT COMIN'!
- FINISHING MOVE:
- THE STEINER SCREWDRIVER HAS BROKEN MORE WHITE TRASH ASSHOLES' SPINES THAN ANY WEAK-ASS PILEDRIVER!
- THE FRANKENSTEINER ALLOWS ME TO HAVE A 75% CHANCE OF KICKING YOUR ASS FASTER!
- FREAKY IS COOL: HELL YEAH! I'M THE BIGGEST FREAK IN THE WORLD!
- GENIUS BRUISER: I'VE GOT THE MATH, AND I'VE GOT THE MUSCLES!
- THE HEDONIST: FREE LOVE IS WHAT THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY IS ALL ABOUT!
- ICONIC OUTFIT: MY CHAINMAIL MEANS BUSINESS, DUDE!
