(This page is best read in the voice of Shelby Rabara.)
Log date: 1-33-7, Peridot facet 2F5L, cut 5XG recording. The Steven has begun introducing me to this human 'internet', and has persuaded me to write a page about myself in this publically editable repository of literary devices commonly used in fiction. I still don't know why all this was recorded.
I am a Peridot, a technician for the Gem Empire. It was my job to check on the growth of the Cluster, a geoweapon incubating in the planet Earth. Much to my irritation, those rebellious clods, the Crystal Gems (and the Steven) interrupted my remote viewing, so I had to come to the planet myself, with a Jasper bodyguard and Lapis Lazuli who had already been on the planet for an informant. But when we landed, that clod Jasper decided that the Steven was more important, and captured the rebels before leaving. We did not get far, as the Steven possessed a resistance to gem destabilizer technology and freed the others. They had trained their Pearl to be able to pilot the ship, and returned to Earth. I was narrowly able to escape in a pod, while the ship crashed because those clods didn't know what they were doing (and apparently the fusion Garnet and Jasper wrecked the ship in their fight).
This left me trapped on Earth, desperate to leave. After all, the planet had an expiration date, and I didn't want to stick around to find out what it was! But those crystal clods kept foiling all my attempts to escape, until I finally kidnapped the Steven to use his healing saliva to repair the Galaxy Warp. The rebels defeated and reduced me to my gem form, before trapping me in a bubble.
I do not know how long I was stuck in their dungeon, but Steven eventually freed me hoping to learn more about the Cluster. I of course tried to escape captivity, but I was blocked off at every turn, and eventually took refuge in the hygiene room. Though I was terrified of my captors, Steven managed to negotiate with me by giving me the last part of my limb enhancers (that overcooked purple clod dumped the rest of them in the large body of water near the Galaxy Warp). I decided to allow him to join me in stopping the Cluster, seeing as he knew more about Earth than I did, but he convinced me that we needed the overcooked Quartz, the war machine, and the defective fancy Pearl to aid us, and I reluctantly accepted. We built a drill to reach the Cluster, but before it was completed I had a better idea.
I had taken a Diamond communicator, and planned to use it to reach my superior, Yellow Diamond. While Steven and the rest of the clods tried to stop me, I was able to reach her and ask her to de-activate the cluster. After all, Yellow Diamond was a logical person, I thought, and it's illogical to let all the unique resources of a fully developed organic ecology go to waste just for a geoweapon. When Yellow Diamond revealed that she valued revenge over logic, I questioned her objectivity and called her a clod!. Although Yellow Diamond didn't seem to remember it later, that was a turning point in my life and the end of my service to Homeworld.
I guess I'm a Crystal Gem now. Where am I gonna put the star? Oh, on my chest. That works. I guess.
Tropes that I, Peridot, follow
- All Take and No Give: When I eventually befriended Lapis, I tried hard to make her happy while she simply did what she pleased. It wasn't until she tried to leave Earth permanently that I stood up for myself against her.
- Diagnosed by the Audience: My behavior apparently is reminiscent of humans with those so-called Autism Spectrum disorders. Hmph. As if there's anything "disorderly" about the precision demanded of any scientific endeavor!
- Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": I have been informed that humans call Meep-Morps "art". I still like my word better.
- Catchphrase Insult: 'Clod' is my insult. Anyone else using it is stealing it from me. Especially that other Peridot working for Hessonite! She's already got her OWN signature insult, why does she feel the need to use mine specifically when arguing with ME?
- Cloudcuckoolander: I admit I don't understand a lot of things about Earth.
- Defector from Decadence: It's not like I had the choice to remain after calling Yellow Diamond a clod to her face.
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: I called Yellow Diamond a clod! She's my ultimate superior, one of the four rulers of the Gem Empire, and I... called her a clod!
- Die for Our Ship: I do not wish that Paulette would die, exactly, but she is a stupid clod and should never interfere with the relationship between Percy and Pierre.
- Discard and Draw: I lost my technology when I began working with the Crystal Gems, but soon after I discovered that despite being an Era 2 gem, I had the power of ferrokinesis.
- Fantastic Slurs: My insult of choice is 'clod', but I have also used 'pebble'note and 'dirtbomb', as well as 'filthy war machine' for fusions.
- Fear of Thunder: Though only because I mistook it for a sign of the Cluster happening.
- Good Costume Switch: The Crystal Gems all have star designs on their generated appearance modifiers. Where will I put mine? When I regenerated from Yellow Diamond poofing me, I altered my costume to include stars on the chest and knees, along with some Cool Shades that look like part of a star.
- Heel–Face Turn: It took time. Initially I was just working with the Crystal Gems to stop the Cluster because I would be shattered along with the Earth. But over time I actually did start to care about the Earth and request Yellow Diamond terminate the Cluster. When she refused and made it clear she wanted the Earth destroyed out of pure spite, I was officially a member of the Crystal Gems.
- Innocently Insensitive: I was brought up on Homeworld and I admit I have No Social Skills, so this is a recurring issue for me. My initial attempts at making up with Lapis just ended up making her angrier, I either reminded her of her past trauma or my apology came of as insincere.
- Jerkass Has a Point: I criticized Rose Quartz for her rebellion saying Earth could have been an amazing colony, this being before I learned to understand the value of organic life. The Crystal Gems rightly got mad at me, but I rightly pointed out that thanks to Rose' rebellion there would be no colony and the planet was in danger of being destroyed by the Cluster.
- Large Ham: NO! The Great and Loveable Peridot is not a meat product! Oh, that's what that trope means? Well, then YES! No other Crystal Gem is as DRAMATIC and SHOWY as ME, the Great and Loveable PERIDOT!!
- Launcher of a Thousand Ships: Those strange internet humans would like me to fuse with almost every Gem I interact with.
- Literal-Minded: I'm still not familiar with Earth "slang" and "metaphors".
- Made of Iron: Us Peridots are tougher than we look. I was able to survive an episode's worth of abuse once, trying to catch that corrupted gem. And I've literally got iron in me, as Peridots do, so...
- No Social Skills: I am quite unfamiliar with the intricacies of inter-gem and human relationships. I never had need of that knowledge as a Peridot.
- Not Helping Your Case: I can make a legimate point despite my bluntness but having No Social Skills
- Spanner in the Works: Had I not informed the Crystal Gems of the Cluster, it would have hatched unopposed and we would have all been shattered.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: It was my report on the humans Steven listed that was the basis for Aquamarine's abductions.
- Villain Decay: When I first came to Earth, I was a threat to the Crystal Gems, but when I was stranded on Earth without Jasper, I started slipping.
- Virtuous Character Copy: I admit, I used to be an awful lot like that green bug-clod, but unlike him, I saw the beauty in Earth and eventually defected from Homeworld with extreme prejudice. I bet he wouldn't even consider calling his "Tallest" the clods they are! Nyeh heh heh heh!
- What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?: I had never experienced 'compassion' or 'empathy' before arriving at Earth. Steven helped teach me what I was missing.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Percy and Pierre obviously have the best relationship in Camp Pining Hearts.
