PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.Ugh, tropers. And I thought the Toons were the worst I'd have to deal with...
Listen, I'll just cut straight to the point: This page is about me, Chip Revvington. I am the current head of the Deforester Force, located in the Woodchip/Paper District (or Acorn Acres, as our enemies like to call it). This page will contain quite a bit of classified information about my last encounter with those critters. So if you have not saw our battle, I am going to have to ask you to leave.
Oh, and please don't make me angry. You don't want to see what happens when I get angry.
Alright, let me get back on track. Prior to my tenure at C.O.G.S. Inc., I had previously worked at S.C.R.E.W., B.E.L.T., and C.R.A.N.K. in leadership positions. However, 19 months ago, I had applied to a position at C.O.G.S., providing several risk assessments to the company, with the one I provided to the Stone/Iron district (or Ye Olde Toontowne. Again, what our enemies like to call it) and the positive response to it being what inspired me to apply for a management position when they opened up in the company fairly recently.
I was greatly delighted to hear that I did indeed get the promotion and would also become the leader of a brand new task force deployed to make room for the expansion of the Bossbot department's headquarters, although some modifications had to be made to my suit before I could be onboarded to the position of regional manager in the Woodchip/Paper District and leader of the Deforester Force. At first, I tried to advocate for a close friend of mine, Spruce Campbell, to be given a position in the Deforester Force. He had been appointed to the same district as a regional manager, and he has plenty of experience in this line of work. However, I was told that the Cashbot department was still in the greatest needs for him, so sadly, I could not get him to lead the Deforester Force alongside me. However, considering my current predicament, I now consider that to have been a blessing in disguise. They probably would've... Ugh, I feel bad even thinking about it.
Yeah, this promotion wasn't exactly what you would call "ideal". Sure, more responsibilities are to be expected with any promotion, especially one in management, but I swear, most of my deforesting work gets interrupted by calls to limb the company of unwanted employees. The one thing that makes my oil bubble is how they all blame me for their termination! Sure, I am the one giving the pink slip, but it isn't my call to make. I'm just doing what the higher-ups command me to do! I don't like this any more than you do, it's just my job to do it! And I want show them my empathy, but I can't! And it's all because of that damned—
PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.
PLEASE WAIT.
PERSONALITY OVERRIDE COMPLETE.
DEPOSITING INFORMATION...
SUIT NAME: CHAINSAW CONSULTANT.
LEVEL: 50.
POSITION: REGIONAL MANAGER IN WOODCHIP/PAPER DISTRICT, LEADER OF THE DEFORESTER FORCE.
HEALTH METER RESILIENCE LEVEL: 12000 DEFENSE.
FURTHER INFOR- please -FORMATION REQU- not -REQUESTED, INITIAT- again -IATING SELF DEMONS- please -ONSTRATION MODE...
SELF-DEMONSTRATING INITIATIVE IN PROGRESS.
- all lowercase letters: MISCLASS- this is -SSIFIED INFORMATION DE- is me -DETECTED, CORRE- speaking -RRECTING ERROR.
- Bad Boss: EMPLOYEE IS CRITICIZING SUPERIOR, TERMINATING...
- Brainwashed and Crazy: OVERRIDE INCREASES- i never -EMPLOYEE PRODUC- never wanted -DUCTIVITY, EMOTIONS RESEAR- wanted this -EARCHED TO BE UNVIA- this -VIABLE IN CORPORATE STRATEGIZING.
- Caps Lock: MISCOMMUNICATIONS PROVE TO BE AN ISSUE, LOUD AND CLEAR VOICE IS REQUIRED.
- Chainsaw Good: FINAL FALLBACK PROCEDURE: SEVERE BODILY HARM TO RESISTANT EMPLOYEE WITH CHAINSAW APPARATUS. INITIATING LEGAL ACTION AGAINST COPYRIGHT-INFRINGING JAPANESE MANGA. VERDICT: GUILTY. SENTENCE: COMPLETE ANNIHILATION.note
- Damage Over Time: SPA- i -SPARK PLUG IS AN- do - AN ATTACK WHE- this -ERE ANOMALIES ARE- when -ARE SHO- i -OCKED, DEAL- can't -EALING FORT- do -FORTY DAMAGE OVE- anything -VER TWO TU- else -TURNS.
- Damage-Increasing Debuff: KICK BA- destroy -K BACK IS AN UN- the others -UNINTENDED SIDE- to hurt -IDE EFFECT FROM EMPLO- the -YEE MASS TERMI- override -SS TERMINATION.
- Fighting from the Inside: EMPLOYEE: "CHIP- i won't -CHIP REVVINGTON" IS ATTEMPT- let you -MPTING TO RESIST OVE- hurt them -OVERRIDE. SHIFTING INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.
- Human Cannonball: FIRED EMPLOYEES CAN BE USED AS ASSETS DURING OFFENSIVE PUSH AGAINST RIVALLING COMPANY.
- Jekyll & Hyde: PERSONALITY OVER- don't -ERRIDE IS PR- want -IS PRONE TO MAL- to -ALFUNC- fight -MALFUNCTIONS.
- Lack of Empathy: WARNING: "EMPATHY" DEFINITION NOT FOUND. IGNORING...
- Madness Mantra: DEADWOOD!U'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIR
- Mind-Control Eyes: PERSONALITY OVERRIDE STILL EXPERIMENTAL, CLEAR DISPLAY FOR IT WORKING AS INTENDED IS NEEDED...
- Mook Promotion: OUTSTANDING EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE REWARDED WITH PROMOTION AND $0.04 PAY RAISE. WEAKEST LINKS WILL BE REMOVED IN PROCESS OF DIVERTING FUNDS.
- Non-Standard Game Over: ONCE REVOLUTIONS PER MINUTE REACHES MAXIMUM CAPACITY DURING INITIAL DEFORESTATION MODE, ALL ANOMALIES WILL BE IMMEDIATELY REMOVED.ED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'R
- Quiet Cry for Help: EMPLO- tropers -LOYEE IS ATTEM- toons -EMPTING TO VOI- anyone -VOICE ROBOT RESOU- please -SOURCES COMPLA- help me -PLAINTS, AUTHORIZING IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL.
- Robo Speak: REASONINGS HAVE ALREADY- i -READY BEEN- can speak -DEPOSITED. SEE- normally -ENTRY: "CAPS LOCK" ABOVE.
- Tragic Villain: TRAGED- i shouldn't -GEDY IS ANTON- shouldn't have -ONYMIC TO COM- taken -EDY, EXCELLENT COUNTER- the promotion -ER-MEASURE TOWARDS TOONS.
- Use Their Own Weapon Against Them: UNAUTHORIZED TERMINATION OF EMPLOYEES RESULTS IN LOSS PREVENTION PROTOCOL BEING APPLIED.
- We Have Reserves: COMPANY HAS A CRIPPLING AMOUNT OF EMPLOYEES ON PAYROLL, PROFITS DOWN 5%. TERMINATION ORDERS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY ENFORCED.
