Work In Progress. Not Official Page
(For best experience, read in the voice of Mike Meyers)
(Dramatic Music Plays)
(Chair is show from back then swivels to front and shows Dr. Evil)
Well, hello there, troper. I my name is Dr. Evil (yes that is my full name.) I am criminal mastermind that seeks to terrorize the world with my evil plans. I cover my evil schemes using a company started by my subordinate , Number Two, called Virtucon as a front, and then later Starbucks, the later a Hollywood Talent Agency.
My evil plans, however are often thwarted by my arch-nemesis, Austin Powers!
- Air Quotes: I use them while explaining my "Evil Plan" to my minions. Some say that I'm "Doing It Wrong"
- Arch-Enemy: Ah, yes. Austin Powers. He is the snake to my mongoose. Or is it the mongoose to my snake? I can't remember, but either way it's bad.
- Bond Villain Stupidity: Scott says I have this whenever I put Mr. Powers in my easily escapable death traps. But what does he know? I've been doing the evil freaking genius gig before he was born!
- Even Evil Has Standards: Though I am an evil madman, even I thought Fat Bastard was disgusting. I mean, the way he casually talks about having sex and being naked is just, ugh! He also kept trying to eat Mini-Me, even after I brought his reward!
- And there's also Goldmember. He is an absolute fricking weirdo who had a disturbing habit painting men's..."Yoo-Hoos" gold. He also took a skinflake off and ate it. That's just gross!
- Expy: Some people on here are constantly saying that I'm a copy of a bozo named Ernst Stavros Blofeld from something called James Bond. I, however, am not seeing the resemblance. I mean, sure we both have bald heads, scars, and cats, but does he have his own Mini-Me?
- Fed to the Beast: It's a standard of the evil super-villain gig so, yeah I do this. The first movie I requested sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams on their heads, but apparently, my henchmen couldn't get them due to being on the fickin' endangered species list. They thought "mutant sea bass" would be a good substitute. Riiiiiight.
- Then in the third movie, when Scotty finally turned evil, one of the first acts he did was giving me the sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams on their heads! It was the best day of my life!
- Genre Blindness: What? How am I "Genre" blind? I follow the villain rules to a frickin t! We're supposed to offer the hero dinner while explaining our evil plans and then put them in escapable death traps! Aren't we?
- Insistent Terminology: Just to be clear: It is DOCTOR Evil, not MISTER. I didn't spend six-years in evil medical school to be called MISTER!
- Obviously Evil: Well, duh! It's in my freaking name!
- Right-Hand Cat: My beloved Mr. Bigglesworth. He often appears on my lap when I am addressing my minions. He used to have white hair until that incompetent moron, Mustafa, screwed up the de-cryogenic process and all his hair fell out!
- Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Scott asked me this after I put Mr. Powers in my easily escapable death traps. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't.
- You Have Failed Me: OK, fine! I admit that I have a bad habit of doing this to my underlings whenever they fail to kill Austin Powers. But I wouldn't have to if I weren't surrounded by fricking idiots all the time!
