Veronica walks through the quad of Hearst college and looks around. A little later, she's in her criminology class, where her professor, Dr. Landry (Patrick Fabian), welcomes the other students and talks about Neptune's mentoring program, where students work with at-risk kids. He says his TA, Tim Foyle (James Jordan), will take down the names of any volunteers for the program. Landry shows his reading list to the class and then suggests they play a role-playing game called "Murder on the Riverboat Queen". Tim hands out envelopes to the class as Landry explains the game; people who get envelopes are either witnesses or the murderer, and those who don't are detectives investigating the case, and they question the witnesses until they solve it. He then challenges the class to beat Tim's record of solving the case in 16 minutes. Veronica doesn't get an envelope, but instead of questioning anybody, she looks something up on her laptop. A few moments later, she's reading a magazine when Tim comes up to her and patronizingly suggests she's in the wrong class. Veronica, however, says she's solved the case. Tim is thrown, but calls for Dr. Landry, who asks Veronica who she'd send away for the rest of his natural life. Veronica points to the "blind but not really blind fiddle player". Landry is impressed, and tells the class Veronica has beaten the record. Veronica then confesses she knew the game was taken from an 80's board game, and she merely looked it all up on the computer. Tim is upset, but Landry is amused.
Logan is sitting on a bench in the quad area when Veronica sits next to him and growls, "You a bounty hunter, boy?" Logan jokes he shouldn't have proposed the Clint Eastwood marathon, and they get up and walk to class. He tells her Dick is enrolled at Hearst, and says he hears Dick is a mess because of what Cassidy did. Veronica tries to tell him Cassidy killing himself isn't his fault, but Logan isn't so sure. He kisses her and goes to class while Veronica looks on, concerned.
Later, at the Mars apartment, Veronica finds an envelope from the Sutcliffe Hotel in New York City.
Meanwhile, at Mars Investigations, Keith is cleaning his gun when Vinnie comes in. He asks Keith for help in a case involving embezzlement, but Keith says he has a case of his own and has to leave town. Vinnie fiddles with a briefcase until Keith tells him to cram it. Vinnie pouts and leaves.
When Keith comes home later, Veronica shows him what she got in the mail; the flashcard containing all the pictures they took in New York City. Among the highlights are their trip to Spamalot and what Veronica claims is the Empire State Building but Keith insists is the Chrysler Building. Keith then asks about her first day in school, and Veronica admits she made enemies, not friends, and Keith understands. He reminds her he's leaving for a few days to track a bail jumper, and jokes he's put Backup in charge in case Logan comes by.
Meanwhile, back at Hearst, Wallace is shooting Nerf basketball while sitting on a bean bag when Stosh "Piz" Piznarski (Chris Lowell), his new roommate, arrives. They greet each other and Piz says he has more stuff in his car, but when they go outside to his car, everything's been stolen. Piz is in shock, but Wallace says he knows someone.
Back in their room, Piz is skeptical about Veronica, even when Wallace assures him about Keith teaching her the tricks of the trade. There's a knock on the door, and when Piz opens it, Veronica's there. She greets him easily, and he stammers out a greeting. When Wallace invites her in, he tells Veronica Piz is going to let Sheriff Lamb handle things, but Piz, who has been trying to signal Wallace, tells Veronica he'll take her help instead. She brings up her rate (which is now $500), though she allows she won't take any money if she fails the job.
Back outside, Piz takes Veronica and Wallace to his car, and says a heavy-set girl greeted him, told him which residence hall to go to, and said she'd keep an eye on his stuff. The girl also said she was from the official college welcome wagon committee. Veronica finds out Piz lost his computer and clothes, but is most upset about losing his guitar, which he calls the "Holy Grail" of guitars. He does admit to leaving his car door unlocked, and Veronica snarks he must be from Brigadoon to be so naive. Wallace snarks at how the graffiti gets better in college (someone wrote "Unwashed" on the car in dirt), and Veronica says they should talk to Piz's R.A...
...and they find Moe (Andrew McClain) in his room. He sympathizes with Piz's loss, but informs the three of them there is no "Welcome Wagon" committee at Hearst. He offers them tea.
Meanwhile, Keith is picking up Cormac Fitzpatrick (Jason Beghe) from prison, as he's just been released. As Cormac approaches the car, Keith tells him they need to move.
A little later, Veronica is walking around campus when she notices a "Take Back the Night" rally. Nancy (Tanya Chisholm) is speaking on a stage outside, while a few women stand next to her, and several other young women applaud and cheer her on, especially when Nancy calls for the dean to close down the fraternities. Veronica sees Mac and approaches her. After they joke about the demands Nancy and the others are making, Veronica asks how Mac is doing. Mac says she's given up on sex (Veronica says she needs more time), but her new roommate Really Gets Around (Mac calls her a "one woman Red Light District"). As they turn their attention back to Nancy, a boy wearing nothing but a ski mask and Speedos gets up on the stage and starts gyrating to music while holding an inflatable doll. Fern (Cher Ferreyra), one of the other women, grabs the doll, and while the other women grab him and hold him down, she takes off his mask. Turns out it's Dick, and Veronica and Mac both sigh that it's like they never left high school.
That night, Keith and Cormac are driving, and Cormac thanks Keith for helping Kendall. Keith demurs, saying he just got her out of town, but Cormac is glad he got her a new identity. We hear from them Liam is looking for Kendall because he thinks he's entitled to the money Kendall got from the Casablancas.
Meanwhile, Veronica and Logan are in Logan's hotel suite, having just had sex. Veronica goes to get water, and while in the bathroom, snarks at herself for continuing her high school romance. Just then, the phone rings; Veronica begs Logan not to answer it, but he does, and it's Keith. Veronica, luckily, had forwarded the calls from her apartment to the hotel, and she lies she's sending Logan home. Keith says he'll be calling back just to make sure, and hangs up. He and Cormac joke about how kids grow up, and then Cormac asks Keith what he did with the money Kendall payed him to help. Keith says he bought back Veronica's love...
...and outside the sheriff's department the next day, Veronica and Piz get out of her new car, a Saturn Van. Piz admires the van, and Veronica says it was a graduation gift, as well as Keith's way of apologizing for standing her up at the airport. Inside the sheriff's, Sachs tells them there's been at least four other victims that they know about. Veronica asks for a list, and when Sachs is reluctant, tells him she'll track down the bad guys and let the sheriff make the arrests, so he hands it over...
...and then we see Veronica interviewing a boy riding a bicycle, who indicates the woman who "helped" him is the same one who helped Piz. Next, she interviews Rose (Jessica Scheid) outside her room, and Rose complains about her iPod being stolen. Veronica is interested that Rose is a junior and yet was still robbed, and Rose immediately decides she's done talking to Veronica and shuts the door.
Veronica then walks around campus when she notices an advertisement for an all-ages music show, including a band called "Unwashed". A little later, she goes to Mac's room, and is greeted by Parker Lee (Julie Gonzalo), Mac's roommate, who invites her in. Veronica's a little put off by Parker's energy, but makes nice until Mac shows up. Veronica invites the two of them to the music show, and they agree to come...
...and are joined there by Wallace and Piz. Veronica introduces everybody and they head inside. As Unwashed is playing their set, while Parker is dancing in front of the stage, and Mac is enjoying the music, the others all look like they'd rather be somewhere else. Unwashed finishes its set, and the lead singer thanks the crowd and leaves. Veronica then makes her way to the stage, gets everyone to clap for the band again, and offers a $100 reward to anyone who saw Piz's stuff get stolen. As Parker chats up the lead singer, three young teens come up to Veronica and say they saw Piz's stuff get stolen. Piz and Wallace are momentarily distracted when they also mention how they watch girls go sunbathing in the south quad, but Veronica gets their attention back. The kids claim they saw the stuff loaded into a van ridden by "black dudes", but Veronica decides they didn't really see anything, and dismisses them. One of them then mentions the girl, but claims she wasn't fat, but actually attractive. Veronica looks surprised.
Later that night, Dick knocks on Parker's door, looking for her, when Mac opens the door. Freaked out at first, she says Parker's hanging with the band, and she'll tell her "Needs Hosed Down" stopped by. Dick then tells her Cassidy never really liked her, but before Mac can respond, the R.A. comes by. Dick covers by saying he went to the wrong dorm, and leaves.
The next day, Veronica gives Piz a set of clothes (presumably Duncan's) and tells him she found the guitar on Craigslist. A little later, they're at an off-campus house owned by Donald Fagan (Joshua Harto), who tells them he found the guitar at a flea market at a steal for $500. Piz confirms it's his, and is excited, especially when Donald confirms the woman who sold it to him is the "welcome wagon" woman.
A little later, Veronica walks through a residence hall, and muses that while Donald offered to sell the guitar to Piz for what he paid, she thinks the thief should pay instead. She knocks on Rose's door, and when Rose answers, Veronica takes her picture and leaves. She then heads to Wallace and Piz's room, but they've left a note saying, "Out bird watching"...
...and sure enough, they're in the south quad, attempting to play Hackey Sac but more interested in watching the girls sunbathe. Veronica shows Piz the picture of Rose, but he doesn't quite recognize her. She leaves Wallace and Piz to their "fun".
Meanwhile, Keith's car has broken down, and he's trying to call AAA, but can't get a signal. He suggests they walk, but Cormac points out how hazardous the desert is - he was in the army, and trained in the desert - so he doesn't mind waiting for a car.
Meanwhile, Veronica visits Donald and shows him Rose's picture. He's pretty sure she's the one who sold him the guitar. Veronica then notices Donald has Dr. Landry's book on profiling, and Donald mentions his class is tough, but he enjoys being part of the mentoring program. She sees a picture, gets an idea, and asks Donald for a glass of water. While he goes to get it, she looks at the picture (which is of a girl in front of the Space Needle in Seattle).
Later, after Veronica's criminology class gets out, she goes to Tim and asks him about the mentoring program. He shows her to his office, and offers her a few choices. Veronica objects to having to mentor a girl because she's one, but before they can get into it, Mac "happens" to drop by and tells Tim that Landry needs him. When Tim leaves, Veronica smiles at Mac before Mac leaves, and Veronica finds Donald's file. Sure enough, the kids he's mentoring are the ones who claimed to have seen Piz getting robbed.
That night, Keith is asleep in his car when Cormac tells him the tow truck is there.
Meanwhile, Logan and Veronica are eating in the college cafeteria, which is indoors. Veronica mentions how Logan and Wallace have sociology together, and chides Logan about not showing up in class more. Logan gives her a present; a key to his hotel room. She tries to make a joke, but Logan says he only wants Veronica. She smiles, but then notices Dick trying to come on to a girl. Dick, who's drunk, mentions he's been kicked out of housing, and is getting nowhere with the girl. Then a large student grabs Dick and starts giving him a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown until Logan tasers him with Veronica's taser gun. Far from being grateful, however, Dick resentfully asks Logan if he wants a hug, and takes off. Piz shows up. Logan says he's going to talk to Dick, and kisses Veronica goodbye, to Piz's shock. When Logan leaves, Veronica shows Piz the picture she took from Donald's room, and Piz recognizes the girl as the "welcome wagon" girl.
The next day, at the sheriff's, Veronica shows Sachs the picture and explains that Donald is the thief, along with the girl in the picture and the three kids he mentors. A little later, while Sachs and other deputies search Donald's house, Veronica and Piz watch from beach chairs behind the house while drinking beers. Piz wants to know why the kids talked to them, and Veronica says they were just trying to steer her in the wrong direction, and maybe get some money out of it. Piz then asks why she does what she does, and brings up Lily. Veronica is uncomfortable with the question, admitting only that she's good at it, but brightens when Fagan, who's protesting about the search, sees Veronica and Piz, and she says this is the good part. Sure enough, when Sachs opens the garage, there's all kinds of stolen goods there. Piz asks Veronica if Logan is her boyfriend, but she doesn't answer.
That night, Cormac and Keith finally make it to Kendall's, and she embraces Cormac enthusiastically.
Meanwhile, Veronica shows up at Mac's room. Mac is waiting outside, and despairs the movie tickets are inside the room while Parker is inside having sex with someone. Veronica says she'll sneak in. As she enters the room, Veronica hears activity from Parker's bed, as well as a radio station that says it's on Club Flash. Veronica grabs the tickets and leaves.
Back at Kendall's place, Kendall is sitting in Cormac's lap, eating cake. Keith says he just has travel documents for Cormac to sign and then he'll leave. He goes out to the car to get them, but while he's fishing around in his briefcase, he notices Vinnie's pen in it. Sure enough, it has a bug on it, and Keith correctly deduces Vinnie is working for Liam. However, he realizes he has bigger problems when he sees his gun is out of its holster. He runs back to the house, only to see Cormac shoot into a room inside the house. At hearing Keith's cries, Cormac turns and starts firing at Keith. Keith dodges the shots, but seems to get hurt. Cormac says he's willing to wait till morning to track Keith, and says Kendall was too trusting.
Meanwhile, Logan is brushing his teeth when he hears a knock at the door. It's Dick, who's crying and upset. Logan says he can stay, hugs him, and brings him inside.
Meanwhile, a slightly tipsy Veronica and Mac head back to Mac's room. Mac invites Veronica to sleep on the couch, which Veronica accepts.
The next morning, Veronica is still groggy and on the couch when she and Mac are woken up by a horrifying scream; Parker, in the bathroom, discovers her hair has been shaved off, and she was raped.
This episode contains examples of:
- Abuse Mistake: In the season 3 premiere, Mac has just moved into her new college dorm this episode. Veronica comes up to Mac's room, hoping to go out somewhere for a night of fun, but Mac is already sitting on the floor in the hallway outside the room because her new roommate (still a stranger/new acquaintance since this is the first episode of the college season), Parker, is "in there with some guy." Unfortunately, however, the tickets Mac & Veronica need are still in the room, so Veronica takes Mac's keys and braves going in and interrupting whatever Parker and the "some guy" might be doing. She walks in, and it's dark, with music playing, and she hears some "sex noises" from the guy - moaning or something similar. Veronica rolls her eyes and then says quietly (more to herself than anyone), "Don't mind me," grabs the tickets, and then runs out of there. After Mac & Veronica return, too drunk to drive home so Veronica plans to sleep on Mac's couch, they comment "and we're dude free" before actually entering. The last second of the episode is Veronica and Mac waking up to Parker's screams - she had been drugged, then raped and her hair completely shaved off her head. This grievous mistake is explored more in the next episode as well.
- All Men Are Perverts: Piz and Wallace, or at least Veronica thinks so.
- Also, of course, Dick.
- Armor-Piercing Question: Piz asking Veronica why she's a detective. As explained by Couch Baron in a later recap on Television Without Pity, what makes the question so poignant is she really doesn't know the answer.
- Break the Cutie: What happens to Parker at the end.
- Call-Back: Veronica in "guy voice" with her boyfriend (though unlike Duncan, Logan doesn't seem to mind).
- Foreshadowing: Moe becomes a pretty important character. Also, Logan and Wallace's sociology class becomes important.
- Genki Girl: Parker, at least until the end of the episode.
- Last-Second Word Swap: When Piz first sees Wallace, he starts to say he specifically asked for a roommate who wasn't...but as Wallace starts to give him a dirty look, Piz finishes with "Better looking than me."
- Never Heard That One Before:Piz: (after admiring Veronica's new car) Well, a Saturn for a Mars.Veronica: In Neptune. Yeah, the planets really aligned for this one. Now, move your anus. The mercury's rising.
- Noodle Incident: We never hear how Dick messed up, although it's implied later that it's because it's beginning to hit him how badly he treated Beaver.
- Pretty Boy: Some of the female students in Dr. Landry's class see him as really pretty, including Veronica.
- Product Placement: The Saturn Veronica's driving, though it's used to set up an Obligatory Joke, so it's bearable.
- Promotion to Opening Titles: Michael Muhney as Sheriff Lamb, though he doesn't appear in this episode. Also, Tina Majorino as Mac.
- Rearrange the Song: "We Used to Be Friends" is still the theme song, but is given a remix, allegedly to give it a more "noir" feel. Also, the credits are changed to still photographs.
- Shout-Out: When Veronica teases Keith about using "hot dog" as an expression, he jokes he used it when he hung out with Frank and Joe Hardy.
- When Veronica and Piz tell Moe about Piz's stuff being stolen, he says, "Frak, that blows" They have no idea what he's talking about.
- Depending on how you spell his last name, "Fagin" or "Fagan", Donald's name is either a reference to the pickpocket ringleader in Oliver Twist, or the singer/keyboardist of Steely Dan. Either one works with the plot.
- When Veronica and Piz see Donald's garage with all the stolen goods inside, she makes a toast to Piz and says, "Boom goes the dynamite". This is in reference to a famous video of a clearly uncomfortable student trying to give commentary on sports highlights (seen on YouTube); "boom goes the dynamite" being the most memorable thing he said.
- Uranus Is Showing: From the episode "Welcome Wagon":Piz: [referring to Veronica's new car] A Saturn for a Mars.Veronica: In Neptune! Yeah, the planets really aligned for this one. Now move Uranus, the Mercury's rising.
- Wham Shot: Parker looking into her mirror and discovering her head's been shaved and she's been raped.
