Time and Teresa Golowitz
Mr. Bluestone, formerly Blaustein, is a noted Broadway composer who dies of a heart attack while he's at work. The Prince of Darkness, before escorting his soul to Hell so he can play his music down there, offers to grant him one wish for anything he wants. Bluestone wishes for the chance to have sex with his high school crush Mary Ellen Cosgrove, so the Prince sends him back in time to 1948, where he becomes his teenage self at a party Mary Ellen happens to be throwing. Bluestone refuses to get together with Mary Ellen, seeing her as a child in his old age. Instead, he decides to help Teresa Golowitz, a highly unpopular girl who just so happens to have a remarkable singing voice, get her big break as a world-class entertainer.
Tropes
- Adapted Out: The episode omits two minor characters from Parke Godwin's short story "Influencing the Hell Out of Time and Teresa Golowitz": Bill Tait and Frankie Maguerra.
- Affectionate Nickname: In the 1940s, Bluestone/Blaustein and and Mary Ellen were called "Binky" and "Melly" by their high school classmates.
- The Alcoholic: The Prince of Darkness dissuades Bluestone from getting it on with Mary Ellen, as she spends most of her time in 1987 drinking vodka and reminiscing about what she imperfectly remembers as her golden years.
- Alliterative Name: Mary Ellen's high school boyfriend, a jock named Bob Bolling, who she married after graduation.
- Batman Gambit: The Prince of Darkness engineers the circumstances of Bluestone's wish to ensure that Teresa doesn't commit suicide, since he genuinely loves her singing and would hate for a talent as unique as hers to disappear at only 16.
- Beautiful Singing Voice: Teresa may appear homely and is rebuked by all her peers, but she's revealed to have a phenomenal singing voice when Bluestone plays a tune for her. With his intervention in preventing her suicide, she grows up to become a renowned recording artist.
- Bittersweet Ending: Bluestone dies, but with his last wish, he manages to save Teresa from her suicide and sets her on the path to becoming a famous singer. The higher-ups in Heaven are none too pleased with his alteration to the timeline, so the Prince tells Bluestone that he still has to go to Hell for a few years while the heat dies down. Regardless, he intends to make his residence there look like Queens to make sure he's comfortable, and assures him that he'll get to Heaven soon enough.
- Deadpan Snarker: Bluestone proves to be well-equipped with wisecracks as he talks to the Prince. Case in point, his first response at seeing his own corpse on the floor? "Well, I've looked better."
- Dead to Begin With: The episode opens with Bluestone hard at work at his piano, but when the Prince of Darkness appears in his office, he explains to him that he's actually just died, even pointing out his body on the floor, dead from a heart attack.
- Deal with the Devil: The Prince offers Bluestone a free wish, no strings attatched, before he goes down to Hell. When he makes the wish, the Prince possesses Laura during the party to talk to him, persuading him to think about what he actually wants to do with the time he has.
- Demonic Possession: The Prince possesses a young woman named Laura Schuppe at Mary Ellen's party in 1948 so that he can talk to Bluestone. He later takes possession of another student named Nelson Baxley.
- Driven to Suicide: The Prince of Darkness tells Bluestone that Teresa committed suicide after leaving Mary Ellen's party, having thrown herself in front of a speeding bus. He states that she did so because she was depressed that no one at the party even talked to her, a regular occurrence because of her unpopularity. At the Prince's urging, Bluestone manages to convince Teresa that she can get people to notice her through her excellent singing voice, and promises to work with her in order to perfect it. This changes the course of history, allowing Teresa to become a famous singer with six $1,000,000 albums by 1987, having collaborated with Bluestone on at least one of them.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: Teresa spent her young life as a dorky, homely, unpopular loser who everyone ignored. The Prince reminds Bluestone that in the original timeline, she threw herself in front of a speeding bus after leaving the party. Bluestone fortunatley manages to change this so that Teresa becomes the biggest star of the night and goes on to enjoy a multi-million dollar career as a singer.
- Eiffel Tower Effect: The episode opens on a shot of the Manhattan skyline, before cutting to Bluestone's study.
- Mental Time Travel: Bluestone is sent back in time to 1948, but his adult brain is placed in the body of his 16-year-old self. As a result, he turns away from his original intentions of becoming Mary's boyfriend, as his experienced mind has him viewing the girl as a child.
- Mundane Wish: The Prince of Darkness offers the recently-deceased Bluestone a wish, the opportunity to visit any place in the universe at any time. He is shocked when Bluestone wishes to have sex with Mary Ellen at a high school party in October 1948.
- Naturalized Name: Bluestone's original surname was Blaustein as a teenager, but he changed it when he began his career as a composer.
- Nice Guy: Suprisingly enough, Satan/The Prince of Darkness. He's nothing but kindly and polite to Bluestone, granting him a no-strings-attatched wish before he goes to Hell, enjoys both his music and Teresa's singing, and he essentially set up the events of the episode to spare Teresa from death, refusing to let a talent like hers disappear at 16. Even after he tells Bluestone that he still needs to lay low in Hell after his good deed, he intends to set him up in a corner of it that feels just like Queens.
- Nostalgia Filter: Bluestone fondly remembers Mary Ellen as having a perfectly formed body at 16, a cross between Betty Grable and Wonder Woman. When he is sent back to 1948, however, he finds her body is actually less polished than he remembers it being. He admits to the Prince that he can't go through with his plan to have sex with her, as it would make him feel like a child molester.
- Real Award, Fictional Character: Bluestone tells Nelson, one of the students at Mary Ellen's party, that in the future he'll fight in the Korean War and be awarded the Purple Heart, and then he'll go into television production and win two Emmys.
- Satan: He takes the moniker of "the Prince of Darkness", and proves himself to actually be a pretty decent guy. He offers Bluestone a wish before he goes down to Hell, where he apparently wants him to play music for the folks down there, and genuinely enjoys Teresa's singing, praising Bluestone for a job well done. Though he tells Bluestone that he still has to go to Hell anyway to lay low for a while his alteration of history is out of mind, he intends to make his stay as comfortable as possible, placing him in a corner of the place that looks like Queens.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Bluestone abandons his plan to have sex with Mary Ellen and instead prevents Teresa from committing suicide, resulting in her becoming a highly successful singer by 1987. The Prince of Darkness admits that this was his plan all along, as he is a sculptor of possibilities who couldn't bear the idea of the world losing a talent like Teresa's at only 16.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: The Prince of Darkness appears to Bluestone as a suave man in his 60s wearing an elegant suit.
- Shout-Out: Satan's moniker as "The Prince of Darkness" is the term used to describe him in Paradise Lost.
- Take That!: At the end, when the Prince tells him that the corner of Hell he's meant to lay low in will feel just like Queens, Bluestone questions how bad it could possibly be, as he's already been to Queens.
- Time-Shifted Actor: Bluestone is played by Grant Heslov as a 16-year-old in 1948, and by Paul Sand as a 55-year-old in 1987.
- Time Travel Episode: The Prince of Darkness offers Bluestone one wish after he dies. He wishes to make it with his high school crush Mary Ellen at a party in 1948 so he can live out his teenage dream. Once he arrives in the past, however, he decides to help the depressed and unpopular Teresa instead.
Voices in the Earth
1,000 years after humanity fled Earth, Professor Donald Knowles is an archaeologist who comes back to the planet, now a polluted, desolate, inhospitable wasteland, with an expedition to scout out whether it's fit for mining. As he explores an abandoned restaruant, Donald is visited by a large number of ghosts. The ghosts explain that they are the forefathers of those left on Earth when it became uninhabitable, and fear that humankind is coming back to strip the planet of its remaining resources. Donald attempts to show the ghosts to his commanding officer Jacinda Cardyle, but they refuse to appear before her. The ghosts also wish to possess Donald so they can escape, but he instead offers to find a way to restore life to the planet.
Tropes
- Adaptation Expansion: Alan Brennert's short story adaptation of the episode provides further details about Donald's backstory. He's struggling to come to terms with the deaths of his beloved wife Cara and ten of his closest friends within the last twelve months. Donald also becomes concerned that Jacinda may be correct that the ghosts of the dead Earth are merely figments of his imagination, an extension of his grief at the deaths of his loved ones.
- Cassandra Truth: Donald attempts to convince his friend, commanding officer, and former student Jacinda that the ghosts inhabiting the dead Earth appeared to him while he was exploring the ruins of a library. They refuse his requests to make an appearance in Jacinda's presence, leading Jacinda to grow concerned that he may be going insane. He claims that he also has no memory of damaging the sensory web, blaming the ghosts for possessing him.
- Demonic Possession: The ghosts possess Donald to make him attack the ship's sensor web, hoping that he will be sent back to Central and they will be able to accompany him. Unfortunately, they're unable to travel through warp space without being destroyed or driven insane.
- Earth That Was: Humanity evacuated Earth 1,000 years ago because the biosphere had been destroyed by centuries of pollution. There is no longer any life on the planet, not even amino acids in the oceans. A ship commanded by Jacinda is sent to Earth to strip-mine its few remaining resources. Except for historians like Donald, few humans have any affection remaining for their ancestral home. Archer notes that its name even comes from one of the dead languages.
- Foreshadowing: Donald describes to Jacinda and the other crewmembers how rain first appeared millions of years ago, giving nutrients to the barren Earth and gradually allowing life to be born. The ghosts restore the biosphere at the end, prompting rain to fall and slowly revive the dead world.
- Green Aesop: Earth became what it is now because of rampant pollution, and the ghosts plead with Donald not to strip the planet of the very little resources it has left. Thankfully, it starts to rain, bringing life back to the oceans and allowing evolution to start all over again.
- Heroic Sacrifice: The ghosts appear to use the last of their energy to repair the biosphere, likely eradicating their consciousnesses in the process.
- Homeworld Evacuation: Most of humanity evacuated the dying Earth 1,000 years earlier, after all the pollution rendered it incapable of supporting life.
- Humans Are Bastards: The ghosts and the crew think this, as Earth was turned into an inhospitable wasteland 1,000 years ago by human pollution.
- Humans Are Survivors: After Earth's biosphere was destroyed, humanity survived by settling on other planets throughout the galaxy.
- Monochrome Apparition: The ghosts often approach Donald while shrouded in an orange-golden glow.
- Named by the Adaptation: The leader of the ghosts has no name in the episode. In the short story, his name is given as Blaine.
- New Eden: The ghosts tell Donald that they have the power to restore the biosphere, but they are reluctant to do so, as the process requires a great deal of energy and could destroy what is left of their consciousness. Donald accuses them of being cowards, just like the people who made Earth uninhabitable in the first place. This appears to shame the ghosts into doing the right thing. Soon after this, the biosphere is restored and the first signs of life are detected in the oceans. As the ghosts are also able to accelerate evolution, Earth will soon be teaming with life again.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: Donald visits the devastated Earth aboard a survey ship 1,000 years after humanity abandoned it. While exploring the ruins of a library, the ghosts of people who were unable to get off the planet appear to him. The ghosts' leader explains that they are unable to travel through warp space safely, since they have no ships and previous efforts have resulted in either their destruction or permanent insanity. They originally make a plan to leave by taking control of Donald's body, but the historian is eventually successful in convincing them to use their powers of restore the biosphere, even though what is left of their consciousness will most likely be destroyed in the process. Before he leaves the now-living Earth, Donald assures the ghosts, who may no longer be able to hear him, that humanity will return to reclaim the planet one day, just as they had hoped.
- Polluted Wasteland: Earth's biosphere was destroyed 1,000 years ago due to rampant pollution and the complete depletion of the ozone layer. Its atmosphere now consists predominantly of carbon dioxide with traces of methane and ammonia, and the sky is now yellow due to iron oxide created by all the rusted buildings. However, the ghosts eventually use their collective powers to restore the biosphere and create life in the oceans.
- "Ray of Hope" Ending: Though the ghosts likely perish in doing so, they restore the biosphere and create life in the oceans, meaning that Earth will be a living world once again. The final shot even shows a small tuft of grass peeking out of the rocks as it rains to reenforce the reveal.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Jacinda is aware of how being on the dead Earth is gradually turning Donald's behavior erratic, allowing him to take a leave of absence and offering to get him off the planet. She also believes him when he tries breaking the sensor web, noting that the damage was minimal and she doesn't put it in her log.
- Urban Ruins: Early in the episode, Donald, Jacinda, Archer, and Bledsoe explore the 1,000-year-old decaying ruins of a city on the dead Earth.
- Voice of the Legion: The ghosts speak in distorted echoing voices as they talk to Donald.
