"Spring Break" is an episode in the tenth season of Married... with Children.
In this two-part episode, Kelly and her friends seduce Bud and his friends out of flight tickets to Fort Lauderdale during spring break. Al, with Jefferson and Griff in tow, follow Kelly and her friends there before helping Kelly win a beauty pageant that she enters in which the winner gets $100,000. Marcy, upon seeing Jefferson and Al on a spring break TV commercial, takes Bud and his friends to Fort Lauderdale to settle the matter.
Tropes in this episode include:
- Agony of the Feet: Deliberate examples, and Played for Laughs. As Al counts on Jefferson and Griff voting for Kelly in the Beauty Contest to ensure she'd win, his choice of disciplinary action involves stomping on the foot of Griff or Jefferson for showing signs of favoring one of Kelly's competitors. When Al stomps Jefferson's foot upon the latter asking for a lap dance from one of Kelly's rivals, Jefferson returns the favor in kind to Al.
- Beach Episode: Kelly, her friends, and a large cast of female extras in bikinis and male extras in swimming trunks or speedos appear on the beach in Fort Lauderdale. Al, Griff, and Jefferson get in on it as well when they go to Fort Lauderdale themselves.
- Beauty Contest: One takes place in Fort Lauderdale, which Kelly enters. Al gleefully helps Kelly cheat to win once he finds out the grand prize for the winner is $100,000.
- The Bus Came Back: Kelly's friend group from Blond and Blonder return. This is also the only time Kelly has been shown having the same group of friends.
- Cheaters Never Prosper: Kelly basically cheats her way into winning the beauty pageant with help from her friends, who sabotage her competitors' talent competition performances given the opportunity, and Al, who, with Jefferson and Griff in tow, beat up two of the male judges and pretend to be them in order to rig the result in Kelly's favor. All of the effort is undone once Bud, who shows up with his pals and Marcy, exposes the truth to everyone present.
- Choke Holds: An upright nelson hold is Marcy's punishment of choice against Jefferson for his lies, as illustrated near the end of the second part.
- Depraved Homosexual: Played for Laughs. When Marcy's car breaks down at a car garage on the way to Fort Lauderdale, the attendant agrees to lend one of his vehicles to Marcy... in exchange for the specific one of Bud's pals, who reacts by immediately closing his legs tightly together and sporting an Oh, Crap! expression upon realizing that the car garage attendant wants him. After Marcy fills the propane tank she has with her, refills her car gas tank using said propane tank, and gets said friend of Bud's away from the car garage, he expresses immense relief at being taken away while he was forced to walk down the isle with a wedding veil over himself.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Kelly and her friends are able to go to Spring Break in Ft. Lauderdale, despite not being in college, because they told Bud and his friends that they needed they guys' plane tickets, hotel rooms, and spending money to send their boyfriends away for the whole week. It takes Bud a few days to realize, and tell his friends, that Kelly and her friends scammed them out of their vacations with a promise of sex, that the girls had no intention of having with Bud and his friends. In Ft. Lauderdale, Griff almost costs Kelly the first prize, including the money, when another contestant promises to marry him if he votes for her.
- Erotic Eating: One of Kelly's beauty pageant rivals does this when eating a banana for her part of the talent competition performance.
- Laser-Guided Karma: The end of the second part of this episode has Karma knocking on the doors of everyone who has been involved in the schemes.
- All of the efforts for helping to rig the Beauty Contest in Kelly's favor and ensure her victory come undone when Bud, who shows up at that moment, exposes the truth to everyone who's present, causing Kelly to be revoked of her winner status and deprived of the grand prize of $100,000, which was the sole reason Al even bothered helping her cheat in the first place.
- In addition, Al gets arrested for fraud and battery (pretending to be a judge he had incapacitated).note
- Jefferson, meanwhile, ends up blacking out as the result of Marcy having him in an upright nelson hold for lying (both about the "computer camp" lie and claiming to be single, which Marcy found out via radio broadcasting about him claiming as such that she happened to hear).
- Finally, Bud's pals chase Kelly's friends for the girls seducing the flight tickets out of the guys early on.
- On the other hand, Marcy, Bud, and his friends all get to exact payback on (or at least confront) those who had wronged them earlier, with Bud having A Lady on Each Arm for good measure once the dust settles.
- Mistaken for Gay: Al's scheme in helping Kelly cheat to win the Beauty Contest involves himself and Griff pretending to be the judges they had beat up, tied up, and locked up for them to replace. The judge Griff ends up replacing turns out to be, in the announcer host's words, "the organizer of last year's gay prance on Washington". Griff is not pleased since it's too late for him by the time he realizes it to try to switch the "identity" with Al.
- Only in It for the Money: Al could hardly care less about Kelly entering the beauty pageant taking place in Fort Lauderdale... only to change his mind at once and go out of his way into helping her cheat to win after learning that the grand prize for said beauty pageant is $100,000.
- Open Mouth, Insert Foot: When the announcer host introduces two overweight women as the winners in last year's Beauty Contest, Al quips about them in the way that earns him a hearty smack on the back of his head from one of the ladies.Al: What was the first-place prize back then — 100 grams worth of chocolate coins?
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: All of the attempts made by Al, Jefferson, Griff, and Kelly's friends to rig the Beauty Contest in Kelly's favor end up being All for Nothing once Bud shows up and exposes the truth to all who are present, resulting in Kelly's winner status being revoked at once and ensuring that Cheaters Never Prosper.
- Tempting Fate:
- Early in the first part of the episode, Al and Griff try to keep themselves warm inside the shoe store by tossing shoes — and the phone Al rips off the wall — into a burning fuel drum. Al complains that everyone but himself and Griff is away at a warmer place, and Griff assures him that it's not true, only for Jefferson to enter the store stating that he is on the way to Fort Lauderdale.
- Jefferson gets to go to Fort Lauderdale as a judge for the Beauty Contest taking place there by lying to Marcy (he tells her that he's going to a computer camp). When Marcy consoles Bud and his friends after they've been seduced out of their plane tickets to Fort Lauderdale by Kelly and her friends, she advocates for a trusting relationship... right before Bud points to the TV showing a spring break TV commercial in which Jefferson is not at computer camp like he told Marcy.Marcy: We all should be developing full, trusting relationships, like I have with my Jefferson, who, even now, is away at computer camp trying to better himself.
Bud: Uh, Mrs. D'Arcy... *points to TV*
[The TV shows Jefferson dancing at the Fort Lauderdale beach]
Marcy: *in visible anger* ROAD TRIP!!! Destination: Fort Lauderdale! - At one point when Al, Jefferson, and Griff relax at the beach, Griff remarks that "it doesn't get any better than this". Cue a lady serving them drinks bought by the girls they danced with a short while ago.
- Al's initial reaction to Kelly entering the Beauty Contest is indifference. The moment he discovers that the grand prize for winning said contest is $100,000, however, he cheers her on at once.
- Kelly feels confident about her chance to win the Beauty Contest... until a rival contestant walks by and displays Jiggle Physics while doing so, at which point Kelly's self-confidence plummets and she asks Al for help, which strengthens his resolve to help Kelly win the contest, whatever it takes.
- Deciding to help Kelly win the Beauty Contest by any means possible, Al asks Jefferson to include him and Griff as judges, but Jefferson responds that the only way for it to happen requires the other judges becoming incapacitated. That gives Al an idea...
- As the Questions & Answers segment of the Beauty Contest begins, one of the rival contestants, when introduced, walks to Griff with the promise to be his wife if he votes for her. Griff, completely seduced, tells Al that he's going to vote for her and "don't try to stop me". One Gilligan Cut later, Al's holding a bent tennis racket and speaking to the knocked-out Griff.Al: Now look what happened to you! You see what you made me go do?!
- Finally, Al is ecstatic when Kelly wins the Beauty Contest (and, with it, the $100,000 grand prize), but his joy proves to be short-lived, once Bud shows up to expose the whole truth to everyone present, which gets Kelly's status as the Beauty Contest winner revoked — which means no prize money for him, either — and Al himself arrested.
- Ventriloquism: One of Kelly's rivals in the Beauty Contest does ventriloquist act for her talent performancenote .
