Two boys enter a luxurious house. One, Eric Foley, is trying to get his friend to play with him on the next weekend, but the friend says his weekends are tightly scheduled. The two begin to go upstairs when the cleaning lady, Grazinya, comes out from the kitchen. Eric is surprised to see her, but Grazinya is nonplussed. Eric asks her not to tell his parents that they're about to go play video games in his bedroom, but Grazinya says she won't keep a secret from her employer. She begins to go to fix the two milk and cookies, and the friend leaves, since they can't play video games. Eric scowls and heads upstairs. Later, Lupo and Bernard are talking to a delivery man in front of the house, which is cordoned off with police tape. The delivery man says that he was delivering food when he saw a man rush out of the house. When he (the delivery man) approached the house to deliver the food, he saw something seeping under the door. The fleeing man was white, with a hat and coat, and a brown briefcase. When the delivery man goes to sit down for a moment, an officer tells the detectives that Eric's parents, two doctors, weren't home during the attack. Inside the house, the detectives find Grazinya, who was killed with a large knife just inside the door. Upstairs, they find Eric, was killed with a big knife in his bedroom. Eric's hair has been cut off.
"Son of a bitch took a souvenir."Eric's parents, Harold and Joyce Foley, talk to the detectives. The two hadn't gotten any threats. Van Buren asks what research they conduct; they say that they are neurologists studying pain management, but that they don't have any drugs in their house. Van Buren asks them for alibis, and they say they were at work all day. As for Grazinya, she had no family and no friends that the Foleys know of. Joyce adds that Grazinya was supposed to be working for another family that day and just rescheduled the night before. Van Buren realizes that Eric would normally have been home alone at the time of the attack, and asks if he'd been threatened or into anything bad, but Harold says that they monitored Eric's computer usage very carefully, and Joyce doubts that anyone would want to kill Eric. Joyce bursts into tears.
"He was just a sweet little boy!"Later, Van Buren complains that they don't have a good description of the man seen leaving the house, and Lupo says that the delivery guy isn't able to give anything useful to the sketch artist. Van Buren says they should check with the school to see if Eric was in trouble. Eric's friend who was with Eric before the attack says that he doesn't know anything. He's clearly struggling with something, and eventually tells the cops he's realized that, had he stayed, he'd have died too. The cops reassure him that he's safe now, and ask again what he knows. He says that he left because Grazinya stopped them from playing video games — Eric was only allowed to play video games on the weekend, and Grazinya would have told Harold and Joyce. Bernard asks if Eric broke a lot of rules, but the friend responds that Eric wouldn't — he really looked up to his parents and didn't want to let them down. The friend continues that Eric said his parents were geniuses who worked on top-secret projects, namely experimenting on people's brains.
"Said it was totally psycho."At the university, the Foley's boss, Dr. Voss, laughs that there's nothing deranged about pain management studies. Voss continues by saying that Hudson University, where Eric's parents worked, is putting up a $100,000 reward.
"How effective are rewards? Has anybody done a study?"Specifically, the Foleys were doing drug trials. They were seeing if stingray extracts could be used in painkillers for headaches; the Romans used to place stingrays on the heads of those suffering from headaches and the Foleys wanted to see if something like that could work. According to the Foleys, there was something to it.
"I'm sure they have."
—Voss and Kevin Bernard
"The electrical pulses of the stingray disrupted the migraine's pain aura."The test subjects hadn't reported any problems. The Foley's assistant says that the subjects ere all students suffering from chronic pain (such as those who were injured playing sports). No one had actually complained, since if the medicine worked people felt better, and if it didn't people didn't feel any worse than before. Bernard reads a notebook that he finds on a table and notes that a 'Ned Lasky' made a lot of calls. The assistant says that Lasky writes for a science magazine and he'd been bugging Joyce for an interview for a month. Joyce had not wanted to do the interview.
" 'Contemporary Science' is like 'Science for Dummies.' Joyce and Harold are very busy."Lasky never told the Foleys why he wanted to do the interview in the first place. Eventually, the assistant went on the interview in place of Joyce, as Voss had ordered Joyce to deal with Lasky, but Lasky still wouldn't say what he wanted. Lupo points out that Lasky may have been insulted when he asked to speak with a professor and instead could only talk to an intern. The assistant says that Lasky became irate when she showed up. At Lasky's office, Lasky says that the Foleys are stonewalling. He insists that one of their test pain medications doesn't work; they've been working for three years on a new type of drug and have not published results.
"They either diverted the money, or should I say stole it, or buried the results because something went horribly wrong."Bernard asks what 'horribly wrong' means, but Lasky says he's just speculating. Bernard asks to see his article, but Lasky hasn't written it — he couldn't, he says, because he never got to talk to her. Joyce, opening mail, tells the detectives that they weren't hiding anything; Lasky was just a pest and a journalist from a minor publication. Bernard asks what happened to the study, and Harold says that the drug didn't work and the company who funded them, a pharmaceutical group, owned the results and didn't want them published. Joyce interjects that, despite her study of pain management, she doesn't know how to deal with the loss of her son. Harold says that the police can look at whatever they want, but Joyce stops short — one of the envelopes contained a card with some of Eric's hair. The detectives quickly grab the hair as Harold takes a panicking Joyce to lie down. Bernard reads the card.
"In your time of loss, here's something to remember your son by. His pain is over. Yours is just begun."Lupo tells Van Buren that the hair was confirmed by forensics to be Eric's. The card, Bernard says, was addressed to Joyce, so the murderer probably has a conflict with her and not Harold, Eric, or Grazinya. The card was postmarked in Amherst, but the Foleys have no ties to it. Van Buren then says that the detectives should go and attend Eric's funeral; since the killer is behaving sadistically he might show up there to torment the Foleys further. At the funeral, Lupo mutters to Bernard that he hates them. Bernard sees Foley, in a brown jacket, suddenly approach Joyce.
"Sorry for your loss. That pain that cripples with time, that no pill can seem to soothe, that's the hardest thing, isn't it, Joyce?"He won't let go of Joyce's hand until the cops force him out of the room. Outside, he apologizes for losing control. Bernard demands to know why he's even there, saying he practically accused them of being quacks. Lasky says that he might not respect the Foleys but he feels for them. He doesn't have an alibi, and when asked if he's been to Amherst, he says he won't answer more questions. The cops tell him to avoid the Foleys.
"…stay away from the Foleys."At Contemporary Science headquarters, Lasky's boss says that Lasky hasn't written any articles; the Foley story would have been his first. It was Lasky's idea, and he'd been bugging his boss to give him a shot for months. Lasky was out the day of the murder, and for most of the subsequent day. The boss adds that Lasky has a degree from the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. The boss then gets the cops his home address, and Bernard asks him not to tell Ned about their visit. At the Lasky home, Ned's wife, Nora, talks to the cops. She says she doesn't know where Ned was in the past week, nor does she know why they care. Bernard says there was an accident report and they have to follow up. Ned and Nora's daughter, Molly, comes out of a back room, and Nora and Molly bicker as Molly gets ready to leave for work. Bernard says the accident was in Massachusetts, and Molly pauses, but then Nora shoes Molly out the door and says that there must be some mistake — the Laskys don't take long car trips. She then shuts the door on the detectives. Outside, the cops muse that Nora froze up when they mentioned Amherst. They see Molly take her bag from her dad's car, then leave on foot to go to work. The two cops look through the windows, with Lupo wishing his car were that neat. Bernard jokes that he's got two kids going around with him now (Lupo's brother died in the episode Called Home). Lupo sighs that his car is Skittles-infested. The two find an inspection sticker dating three weeks prior, and Lupo records the odometer readings. Bernard tells Van Buren that Lasky put over 400 miles on the car since it was last inspected. Amherst is about 350 miles away, so that fits. Lupo reports that no forensic evidence was found on the hair or the card. Bernard insists that Lasky is their man, but they still have little evidence. Van Buren asks what their weak spot is, and Bernard says they already found it. At her waitressing job, Molly doesn't want to talk to the cops. She says she has student loans and no money, so can't afford to be seen slacking on the job. Bernard says they can clear it with her boss. Molly accuses them of lying about the accident, and adds that his dad complained to her of harassment by the cops. Bernard says they can stop harassing the Laskys when they get some answers, and Lupo asks about the car and how it got 400 miles. Molly says they're lying again. After some more arguing, Molly says that the cops are only harassing Lasky because he never stands up for himself. When questioned about this, she admits that he sees a shrink about his depression. When she tries to leave to go back to work, Lupo tells her that they're not bothering Ned for fun; he's a suspect in a serious crime. Bernard adds that there's a $100,000 reward for anyone who provides information leading to the murderer.
"Far away. Clear?"
—Cyrus Lupo and Kevin Bernard
"It would be a shame if we arrested the murderer and nobody got that money."Molly leaves with Bernard's business card. Lupo is unhappy, but Bernard doesn't mind.
"You just offered her a bribe."Dr. Arlene Doland says that she can't talk because of doctor-patient privilege. Bernard shows Doland photos from the crime scene, trying to shock her with the brutality depicted in the photographs.
"No, that's what a reward is. If you feel guilty about it, let's talk it over with Lasky's shrink."
—Cyrus Lupo and Kevin Bernard
"So… brutal…"Lupo mentions the reward to Doland. Doland then says that Lasky didn't come in that week; they had their session via phone. When asked why, Doland says that there were reasons that made it seem like a phone session would have been more useful for that week. Bernard asks if the reasons included Lasky, hypothetically, killing two people. Doland says that, hypothetically, yes, that would be a valid reason. The cops thank Molly for telling them about Doland as she hurries to another job. She protests that it wasn't a tip or a hint. The cops imply that Doland told them a lot, and Molly sighs that she's already in enough trouble with Ned. When asked about this, she says that her dad is depressed and that's why he always criticizes her. Also, he tells her that she's not pretty enough to be an actress or join a sorority.
"Like a homemade pie."The cops then say that Doland will get the reward, which seems unfair to them since she basically failed to help Ned. They hammer on this for awhile, as well as on how mean Ned is to Molly, until Molly tells them that Ned took the car early Tuesday, and she found a receipt in the car for gas from a Massachusetts gas station. She also saw a briefcase in the car, which matched the one the person who left the Foley's house was holding (which she knows about because she read about the case on the Internet). Lasky is subsequently arrested. He's holding a duffel bag which Lupo opens; it has driving directions to several college towns in New England, as well as a fake ID. In court, Lasky pleads Not Guilty.
"I'm being persecuted for exercising my freedom of the press."Rubirosa requests remand, citing Lasky's incident of continuing to harass the Foleys even after the murder by mailing them locks of hair taken from their son's corpse. Lasky complains again, and when Judge Ida Zeller tells him to be silent, he won't listen.
"You're trying to silence me? What is this, China?"Zeller remands Lasky. His lawyer, Olson, requests that Lasky be allowed to continue writing in prison, and Zeller approves this, so long as he makes no effort to contact the Foleys. The Foleys talk to the lawyers. Cutter has to admit that they have very little evidence. Harold has no idea why this happened.
"We never met the man, and I find it a little hard to believe that he would do this just because we dodged an interview with him."Rubirosa asks if they know Molly, showing them a dossier on her, but the Foleys have never heard of her. Rubirosa posits that Molly might have applied to their lab, but Joyce sees that Molly went to Sheldon College and doubts that Molly would have even gotten to the stage where she would have met the Foleys — Sheldon College isn't highly ranked. As for Amherst, Harold has no connection, and Joyce attended Dartmouth (in another city), only going down to Amherst when she attended the football games to cheer on her roommate's brother. Rubirosa realizes that Lasky would have been going to the university at the same time that Joyce was attending football games, but Joyce doubts that they would have met.
"We didn't mix with the kids from the state school."Later, Cutter is miffed.
"There must be something wrong with me. I went to a state school."Rubirosa comments that they don't have the briefcase or any forensic evidence. Cutter hopes that Lasky will take a plea once he learns that Molly will testify. Rubirosa finds that Lasky filed a motion pro se. Cutter asks what it is, but Rubirosa can't tell yet because Lasky wrote it by hand and his handwriting is not very legible. She and Cutter determine that Lasky filed a motion to dismiss. He's alleging a conspiracy by Hudson University, the AMA, and the office of the District Attorney. Rubirosa sees another motion, this one a Discovery Request. Lasky wants to see Rubirosa's college transcripts and law school application. In court, Judge Rachel Cates admonishes Lasky.
"You should really let your lawyer write your motions, Mr. Lasky."Cutter asks if they even need to dignify the motion with a response. Cates asks if Lasky has evidence, and Lasky brings up the reward, saying that it's being used to pay witnesses to frame him. Cates asks why anyone would do that, and Lasky says that he explained everything in the motion. Olson apologizes for Lasky, as Rubirosa and Cutter exchange looks. The dismissal is rejected. Cates begins to talk about the discovery request, but Lasky says he's amending it to request Cates's transcripts as well. He won't say why.
"He wouldn't do this one."
—Rachel Cates and Ned Lasky
"I'm entitled to know where you went to college."Cates if Lasky needs a psychiatric evaluation, but Cutter objects, saying that it's rational not to reveal one's legal strategy to the opposing side. Cates denies all of Laksy's discovery applications. On the way out, Rubirosa tells Cutter that Lasky was arrested with driving directions to several college towns. Cutter notes that Lasky only asked for Rubirosa's and Cates' transcripts, but not his. He furthermore, says Rubirosa, complained to his daughter about joining a sorority. Cutter wonders why he'd care. Molly refuses to speak to Rubirosa, saying that her mom wants to throw her out of the house. She wants the reward. Rubirosa says that she only gets the reward if her dad is convicted, but Molly protests that this went unsaid. Rubirosa says that she hopes Molly didn't lie to get the money. Molly maintains her honesty, but says that she's being kicked out and she's about to become homeless. Rubirosa says that she can't help Molly unless Ned is convicted. She asks about Ned's problems with women in colleges, but Molly says she knows nothing. Rubirosa tells Cutter and McCoy their problem.
"You're entitled to know I have a law degree from Yale."
"Not law school. College."
"How is that relevant to your case?"
"I won't reveal my legal strategy."
—Ned Lasky and Rachel Cates
"Whatever she knows, we're not gonna hear it unless she gets a payday."Cutter says that they can ask Hudson University to amend the terms of the reward, but McCoy objects and quotes Richard Nixon.
"Quote one of our presidents, 'you could do that but it would be wrong.' It's a bribe. "Cutter says that rewards are inherently bribes anyway, but McCoy complains that their entire case rests on a witness who stands to gain $100,000 from a conviction. He asks who mentioned money to her, and Rubirosa says that it was the cops.
"It's going to look like we bought her testimony."Rubirosa gets a page — Lasky tried to send another condolence card. Van Buren tells the lawyers that it was found in a package of Lasky's writings that Lasky was going to give to his lawyer. It was addressed to a coed at Duke University who died in a bus crash recently. The coed's family has no idea who Lasky idea. The card is similar to the one that Lasky sent the Foleys, but includes an odd quote.
"I'm sure [she]… exemplified the ideal of hearts and hands in service."Rubirosa remembers the quote from somewhere, and looks it up.It's the Kappa Delta Alpha sorority motto. Van Buren notes that Joyce Foley attended this sorority at Dartmouth, and Rubirosa reads that the girls who died in the bus crash were from the same sorority. The trio decides to look up Kappa Delta Alpha to see what attracted Lasky's attention, and find that the Wikipedia page has been locked due to vandalism — someone was posting false information. The postings were all from the same ISP, belonging to Lasky.
"Looks like he's been at it for at least a year."Van Buren then says that, according to his credit card bill, Lasky has been staying at hotels in college towns with Kappa Delta Alpha sororities. Cutter concludes that Lasky asked for the transcripts so he could see which sororities Rubirosa and Cates attended.
"Somewhere in all these Greek letters is our motive."Lasky's old roommate doesn't recall Lasky ever dating anyone from Kappa Delta Alpha. In fact, he rarely dated anyone.
"When he wasn't studying, he was playing 'hearts' with the other nerds in the dorm."Cutter doubts that Lasky really never had even one date, and the roommate says that Lasky did once attend a party that was out of town. Lasky had gone so far as to buy a blue blazer beforehand, with gold buttons.
"He looked like he was going yachting with the Kennedys."The roommate didn't know anything about the party, but did find the blazer, all torn up, in the trash the next day. Lasky became a complete social introvert afterwards, and left the college after the end of the term. The lawyers next go to see Saul and Lana Lasky, Ned's parents. They say that they haven't been in touch with their son recently. When Rubirosa asks why Ned quit the University of Massachusetts, Lana says that Ned had the idea that he'd transfer to a more prestigious school, although the family couldn't afford it. Lana thinks that Ned dropped out of school because of a failed relationship — he called several college towns in Illinois, trying to get accepted somewhere, as apparently a girl named Susan went to a college near there. Joyce doesn't know anyone named Susan. Rubirosa prompts that Susan might have been a Kappa Delta Alpha member, first of Dartmouth, later transferring to a school in Illinois, but Joyce is drawing a blank. Cutter explains their theory — Lasky had a date with Susan at some point, was rejected, and then tried to track her down in Illinois. Joyce remembers that, one point, Joyce made a boy leave a mixer at a Kappa Delta Alpha house. He was wearing a blue blazer with gold buttons — Lasky's outfit. A sorority sister had met him at a football game and had jokingly invited him to the mixer, but then Lasky actually showed up. The sister asked Joyce, the sorority President, to deal with Lasky.
"[she] asked if I could 'squash a bug' for her. That was our code for getting rid of somebody who didn't belong."She recognizes Lasky from a college photo the detectives found. She begs the lawyers to understand; it was considered unacceptable for the sorority members to mingle with the state school students.
"We were trying to meet men that we would want to marry."Later, McCoy is dismayed by Foley's rhetoric and ideals. Rubirosa shrugs.
"And this boy didn't make the cut."
"Well, wouldn't it have been worse to encourage him?"
—Joyce Foley and Michael Cutter
"It's blue-collar versus cashmere sweater."McCoy sighs that he, a cop's son, was never noticed by the upper-class girls. Cutter says that Lasky killed Eric to get revenge on Joyce for standing between him, Ned, and Susan. McCoy says they need corroboration. Rubirosa says they're looking for 'Susan,' but it will take time to sort out which Susan from the sorority is the one they want. Cutter finds a motion to dismiss that Olson filed. McCoy says that this only makes sense; without Susan, they don't have nearly enough to prove motive, and Molly's credibility is damaged due to her wanting the reward money. McCoy urges Cutter to withdraw the charges and refile once some more evidence turns up. He leaves, and Cutter tells Rubirosa that Lasky may kill again if he's out of jail, so he won't withdraw the charges. Molly tells the lawyers that she has a very short lunch break and so doesn't have time to talk. She does say that she won't testify. Cutter asks if this is because Molly hasn't received the money, but Molly protests that Nora convinced her that her dad is being framed, so she won't help convict him. Rubirosa asks if Molly tried joining Kappa Delta Alpha, and Molly is surprised that Rubirosa figured that out. Rubirosa explains that Lasky hates that sorority and the Foleys because Joyce threw Lasky out of a party in college.
"Even if that's true, so what? I'm sure he got over it."Cutter reads Lasky's Wikipedia writings on the sorority, which accuses them of caring only about money and beauty.
—Molly Lasky and Michael Cutter
"If your family isn't rich, or you have a face like a homemade pie, don't waste your time."Rubirosa begs Molly to help them make sure that Ned doesn't hurt anyone else. In court, Molly testifies that Ned made her take lessons to become more 'cultured', such as ballet, French, and riding lessons. He also made Molly volunteer for charity. Ned told Molly that she would need this background to pledge Kappa Delta Alpha. However, Molly wasn't up to the task, as she would rather go skateboarding, she had mediocre grades, and she was not especially beautiful. Ned became disappointed, saying that Molly was too plain to pledge.
"Like a homemade pie."Molly recounts Ned's fixation on the sorority.
—Molly Lasky, quoting her father
"He said Kappa Delta Alpha girls are the best, and that's who he wanted to marry, but he had to settle for my mom. He called her a second-rate person who gave him a third-rate daughter."Molly begins to cry on the stand, and Cutter ends his questioning. Olson begins his cross-examination. He emphasizes that Molly claimed to find a briefcase and a gas receipt that incriminated her father, but neither were ever seen again. He implies that she made it up. He also brings up the reward, then emphasizes that Molly doesn't like her father very much. Olson directly accuses Molly of lying to send her mean father to jail and get the reward. He begins to move to dismiss the case since Molly's tale cannot be substantiated. Judge Cates says that dismissal is premature until Cutter is done presenting his case. Joyce testifies that Susan asked her to get rid of Lasky. Lasky shouts that she's lying, prompting remonstration from Cates. Joyce then testifies that she asked Lasky to leave. Lasky turned red and sputtered, but didn't leave. Joyce threatened to call campus security, which caused Lasky to call Joyce a nasty name and then flee. She then testifies that she recognizes Lasky as that man, and that Lasky tried to interview her and frightened her at Eric's funeral. Olson has Joyce admit that she did tell the police multiple times that she hadn't met Lasky. Joyce protests that Lasky looks different now. Olson emphasizes tat Joyce only saw the boy for a minute, thirty years prior, at a sorority party.
"…where the liquor — I beg your pardon — the cocktails, were flowing."Foley insists that they served sangria, not cocktails, and then addresses Lasky directly.
"These girls were from good families. You didn't stand a chance!"Lasky begins to rant, but Olson quickly arrests this. Cates says that she's now ready to hear Olson's arguments if Cutter is done with the case, but Cutter asks to adjourn until the morning — he has no more evidence, but says he wants to prepare arguments. Cates grants the motion. Cutter and McCoy talk, with Cutter saying he wants to keep Lasky locked up until he has enough evidence to convict. McCoy says Cutter can always choose to play hardball.
"That's not true!"
—Joyce Foley and Ned Lasky
"If the judge dismisses appeal, then refuse to release Lasky. Force him to file habeas corpus. He'll win, but you can defy it, keep appealing. It'll be months before he sees the light of day. Of course, when all is said and done, I'll have to fire you for prosecutorial misconduct."Rubirosa comes in, saying that the police found Susan. Susan Walden was a Kappa Delta Alpha member of Dartmouth until she transferred to Northwestern, an Illinois university. Cutter asks where Susan is now, and Rubirosa, looking resigned, gives Cutter a paper. Cutter reads the paper, looks concerned, then announces that they have to put Susan on the stand. Rubirosa looks confused. In court, Olson tells Cates that Cutter already rested and so can't bring in new witnesses now. Cutter loudly says that the witness is named Susan Grayson, and that she attended Dartmouth and was a Kappa Delta Alpha member thirty years ago. Lasky overhears and looks shocked. Olson says there's nothing new Susan can testify about, but Ned suddenly says that he wants to hear Susan's testimony. Olson tries to shut him up, but Ned won't hear it.
"Judge, I'm instructing my lawyer to withdraw his objection."Grayson testifies that she changed her name once she was married, and confirms that she was a Kappa Delta Alpha student at Dartmouth thirty years prior. She does not recognize Lasky. She does admit to going to Amherst to see football games, but doesn't recall inviting Lasky to a mixer at her sorority. She admits that sometimes the 'snobby' girls would ask boys to leave because they weren't from an elite school, but says that she wasn't like that and that she would have dated someone like Lasky, who came from a blue-collar background.
"He was so broke he had to hitchhike up to Dartmouth so he could go to your mixer."When Cutter asks how they can know that, and Grayson that she married a blue-collar worker.
"I would have thought that was sweet."
—Michael Cutter and Susan Grayson
"My husband is a truck driver. We've been happily married for twenty-three years. We have three beautiful kids who go to public school. We live in a little house with a big yard in Maine. We have a great life."Through this testimony, Ned looks more and more disturbed. He stands up, shouting that he knew it all along. He points a finger at Joyce (in the audience), saying that he knew it was her and not Susan that blew him off.
"You bitch. I could'a had her […] you ruined everything. I could have been happy!"He runs at Joyce, who flees, but is stopped by the bailiffs.
"I hate you! I showed you what it's like to lose somebody you love! I showed you!"Lasky is wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Cutter then says that the people have enough evidence to go to trial, and Cates agrees, denying Olson's motion. Grayson is excused. Lasky begins to talk at Susan as she leaves.
"Susan. I love you, Susan. I never blamed you. I still love you, Susan."Susan leaves the courtroom. Cutter then approaches Lasky.
"For the record, Mr. Lasky? Her maiden name is Susan Laramie. She was at Dartmouth two years after that party. Your Susan was Susan Walden. She was murdered eight years ago in the Bahamas by her trust-fund husband during a drug-fueled argument on their yacht."Cutter then tells Olson to call them if he wants to talk about a plea. Olson looks exasperated. Rubirosa tells McCoy that Lasky got thirty years to life. McCoy notes that Cutter managed to keep Grayson, barely, from committing perjury (such as by saying that her maiden name was different but not saying what it was, and not saying exactly when she went to Dartmouth).
"That was the easy part. The hard part was finding a Kappa Delta Alpha who married a bug instead of squashing it."