Preface
This was written because "my lady of Champagne," "the Countess", asked me to. The content of the story was her idea, which she assigned to me.Story
On Ascension Day, King Arthur and gang are hanging out at Camelot having a feast. Then a fully-armored knight (who we later learn is Meleagant) shows up and announces he's got people from Arthur's domain as hostages.Meleagant sets the terms for their release: Arthur needs to send one knight, with Queen Guinevere in tow, out to meet him in the forest. They're fight in single combat. If Arthur's knight wins, his people go free. If Meleagant wins, he gets to abduct Guinevere.
Kay wants to be that knight. Rather than asking Arthur for the honor, he immediately jumps to strong-arming him into it by extracting a Rash Promise from the king. Arthur reluctantly allows it. Kay sets off with Guinevere to go meet Meleagant.
Gawain tells Arthur that was really dumb. He suggests a Stealth Escort Mission follow Kay in order to rescue Guinevere. Arthur agrees. They head out, and first find Kay's Horse Returns Without Rider.
Gawain rides ahead of the rest of the party and meets another knight, who is so eager to find Guinevere that he's exhausted his horse. The narrative doesn't name this knight yet, but this is Lancelot. Now we've got our two key characters, Gawain and Lancelot, and here the story's quest properly begins. (The party of men Gawain set out with drops away without explanation.)
The Quest
Day 1:
- Lancelot comes upon a Depraved Dwarf with a cart who offers him information about Guinevere in exchange for riding in the cart. Lancelot hesitates for a moment, the agrees, even though riding in a cart is super shameful. Gawain follows along on his horse.
- The dwarf brings both knights to a damsel, who hosts them for the night. She has a fancy bed she forbids Lancelot from sleeping in. Lancelot insists on sleeping in it anyways. Turns out it's Booby Trapped and almost kills him at midnight. He is unperturbed by this.
Day 2:
Lancelot and Gawain wake up. Through a tower window, Lancelot sees Guinevere traveling with a procession, He almost commits suicide when she passes out of view. Gawain tells him to get a grip. Then the two knights head out, and they come across:
- A damsel who gives them directions in exchange for You Owe Me. She names Meleagant as the abductor and Gorre as his destination. They must enter Gorre by one of two bridges: the water-bridge and sword-bridge. Lancelot and Gawain decide to split up and each take one bridge.
- Lancelot comes to a ford guarded by a knight, who forbids him to cross. Lancelot is so zoned out thinking about Guinevere he doesn't even notice this dude yelling at him. They joust, and Lancelot wins.
- Lancelot meets a damsel who offers to host him for the night, but only if he has sex with her. He reluctantly agrees. Later that night she has her men-at-arms fake a whole Attempted Rape thing for Lancelot to save her from as a Secret Test of Character. In the end, she lets Lancelot of their deal because he's so reluctant to touch her.
Day 3:
Lancelot sets out for the day, accompanied by his hostess from the night before.
- They comes across a strand of Guinevere's hair and Lancelot is so overwhelmed he almost Faint in Shock.
- They run into the damsel's Hopeless Suitor. He wants to duel Lancelot for her. They almost fight, but then the suitor-knight's dad — who thinks he will loose — forcefully restrains his son to stop him. The dad offers to his son a Stalking Mission, observing Lancelot, and maybe dueling him later if Lancelot looks beatable then. The suitor-knight reluctantly agrees.
- Lancelot and the damsel arrive at a church. A monk tells Lancelot about the huge stone sarcophagus they have, and the prophesy that its lid can only be lifted by the man who will free the captives in Gorre. Lancelot lifts it.
- Upon hearing that Lancelot is a prophesy-endorsed hero, the stalking suitor-knight admits he can't be Lancelot. He and his dad turn back.
- The damsel traveling with Lancelot also decides to go home soon after.
- Lancelot meets an older knight coming home from hunting. He bring Lancelot to his family's home and hosts him for the night. This family is also from Logres! They're happy to hear about Lancelot's rescue plan, give him local information about how to get to the bridge, and offer to assist him.
Day 4:
Lancelot, accompanied by two of his host's sons — the older knight!son and younger lad!son — rise and set out.
- They go to "the stony passage", the Chokepoint Geography on the way to the sword bridge. There Lancelot fights... only one guard, actually. The rest are servants, captives from Logres who want to see him succeed.
- They come across a squire who shares the latest gossip: The country has been invaded by a very successful knight from Logres! The people of Logres have attacked the people of Gorre in force!
- Lancelot and co. pass through a guarded castle and become trapped between a gate and a portcullis. Lancelot tries to use his magic ring to call upon the fairy woman who cared for him as a baby to assist them — only to realize the ring's not actually enchanted. They have to use their swords to cut their way out of a postern gate.
- The castle's on a hill, and on the field below them they see at least a thousand knights fighting. The knight!son goes on a brief reconnaissance mission and determines which side is Logres and which is Gorre. Then Lancelot and his two companions enter the fray and join their people. Lad!son gets some armor by Robbing the Dead. The two sons announce to the people of Logres who Lancelot is, and this fills them with such encouragement that they win the battle.
- All the people of Logres cluster around Lancelot and beg for the honor of hosting him tonight.
Day 5:
The next morning, all the men of Logres from the battle want to accompany Lancelot, but he turns them down and keeps going with just the knight!son and lad!son.
"That day they rode from morn till evening without encountering any adventure."
They find a lady who wants to host them that night. They're being hosted very nicely, but then a knight shows up at the door asking "Who's the knight who intends to cross the bridge?" and then "How dare you, when you're so shameful you rode in a cart!" The knight offers to ferry Lancelot over in a skiff, so that he can skip the sword bridge — and also threatens to behead Lancelot on the other side. Lancelot declines this offer.
After this trolling, they decide a duel is in order. When Lancelot wins, he orders the other knight to ride in a cart. The knight refuses. They're interrupted by a damsel with a grudge against this specific knight. She asks Lancelot to behead this man for her; the knight asks Lancelot for mercy. Lancelot is Conflict because showing mercy to his enemies and obeying the requests of women are both important to him. He decides he'll only behead the man if he looses the rematch, and they begin fighting again. He looses; Lancelot beheads him; she promises Lancelot I Owe You.
Day 6:
Lancelot and his two companions set out.
They travel uneventfully for most of the day.
They reach the sword-bridge. The river is cold, fast and dangerous. The bridge is a huge gleaming sword, as long as two lances, going over the river. There are two lions or leopards tied at the other end of the bridge. Lancelot removes the armor from his feet and hands for better grip, then craws across on hands and knees. On the far side, he finds that the lions were just an enchantment illusion.
In the castle, Meleagant just saw Lancelot cross the sword-bridge. Meleagant's father, Bademagu, tells him he's not going to win against such a man and advises him to surrender as a Graceful Loser, that's the only way to save face now. Meleagant refuses.
Bademagu goes down to greet Lancelot graciously and offer him medical attention for his bleeding hands and feet. He explains that unfortunately, his son's a dick and won't give up Guinevere without a fight, but he'll give Lancelot a horse and arms just as good as Meleagant's, and also medical care and 2-3 weeks rest beforehand to heal up. Lancelot says he'd rather use his own arms and he's ready to go right now. He will — at most — wait until tomorrow.
Bademagu puts Lancelot up in nice lodging and sends him a strong horse, handsome arms, and a skillful doctor. Then he once again begs Meleagant to back down; he's going to loose and bring dishonor upon himself. Meleagant refuses again.
Stay at Bademagu's castle
The next day, people assemble in the castle-square where the battle is to be fought. Lots of people of Logres are there to support Lancelot. Guinevere watches from a window.The fight begins. They're well-matched, but Lancelot — weakened by his injuries — is fading faster.
One onlooker is a maiden, a Shipper on Deck who has a intuitive sense this champion from Logres is really here for the queen, not the captives, and thinks he would be reinvigorated by the knowledge that Guinevere is watching. She goes to Guinevere and asks her who is this knight? While this summery has been using Lancelot's name all the way though for brevity and clarity, the narrative has not named him yet; thus far he is only the knight of the cart. But now Guinevere — who would know him anywhere — declare that he is Lancelot du Lac!
The maiden yells, "Lancelot, turn about and see who is here taking note of thee!" He turns and sees Guinevere in the tower window. He is gets his Heroic Second Wind and begins to win. He positioning himself such that he can see Guinevere and fighting Meleagant at the same time.
Bademagu realizes his son is going down. Bademagu asks Guinevere for mercy for his son, who's a dick but still his son. In exchange for how well Bademagu has hosted her, Guinevere agrees. Meleagant — still not willing to surrender, even after being nearly killed by Lancelot — wants to keep fighting. Bademagu does his best, and they come to a reluctant deal: Lancelot is free to take Guinevere home now, Meleagant and Lancelot will fight again in a year's time, and if Meleagant wins then he can re-abduct Guinevere. The captives are freed permanently regardless.
And then Lancelot and Guinevere finally get a chance to speak to each other. But Guinevere is unexpectedly cold and refuses to speak with him.
Lancelot is reunited with Kay (who blames Lancelot for stealing his glory) and then sets out to find Gawain, who hasn't yet arrived at the castle. In the countryside there's mayhem between the newly freed people of Logres and the locals of Gorre, and Lancelot ends up getting seized.
The rumor mill turns "Lancelot was seized" into "Lancelot was seized and put to death." Guinevere hears this and is distraught, nearly suicidal, and feels terrible for treating him so coldly. She has an internal monologue about how much she loves him. Grieving Lancelot, Guinevere goes two days without eating and drinking. From there springs a rumor she's dying, which becomes a rumor that she's already dead. Lancelot hears that she's dead and then gets suicidal too. There's some Tag Team Suicide nonsense, but then the news gets sorted out and they both live. It's a Poor Communication Kills wakeup call. By the time Lancelot gets back to Bademagu's castle, Guinevere can't wait see him and communicate clearly.
They're reunited. Guinevere says she was pissed before because she heard Lancelot hesitated before mounting the cart. Lancelot says he's sorry and he'll never do that again. Guinevere says come to my window tonight.
It's a sort of mashup of Balcony Wooing Scene and Window Love. Guinevere's window has iron bars over it, so they can only talk and hold hands. They do that for a while, and then want more. Being super strong, Lancelot is able to move the bars aside and climbs in through her window. They keep mentioning that Lancelot can't come in because Kay sleeps in the same room as Guinevere — but eh, screw it. They proceed to have Sex in a Shared Room by way of a Sexy Discretion Shot. Kay sleeps through the whole thing.
After Lancelot goes back to his own room, he as a Belated Injury Realization: he cut his finger in the process of moving the iron bars. The next morning Meleagant sees the blood on Guinevere's sheets and concludes that Kay — who is injured and bleed on his own sheets last night — was in the queen's bed. Guinevere and Kay are both outraged at this accusation. She says the blood came from her own nosebleed.
They decide to do Trial by Combat. Since Kay is injured, Lancelot offers to serve as Kay and Guinevere's champion. They start to fight, then Bademagu calls it off. He's still trying to stop his doofus son from fighting (and being killed by) Lancelot. They decide to combine their Trial by Combat fight with their already agreed upon one-year-from-now fight.
Lancelot and some men go to the water-bridge to search for Gawain, who still hasn't shown up. As they near the water-bridge, Lancelot once again meets a weird dwarf who asks him to come with him in exchange for information. Lancelot does so, and gets abducted.
Meanwhile, Lancelot's men find Gawain in the river and rescue him. They all head back to Bademagu's castle. Bademagu begins a search for Lancelot. Gawain is about to start his own search when they receive a Forged Message from Lancelot saying he's well and back at Arthur's court.
Back at Arthur's court
Gawain, Kay, and Guinevere all head home. They have a Boring Return Journey. Upon reaching Arthur's court, they find Lancelot isn't there and realize the letter was forged.While they were gone, the ladies of the court have been planning a Tourney with the goal of identifying the most skilled knights so they can marry them. News Travels Fast, and word of this tourney has reached even Lancelot, in his abduction.
Lancelot is being held by a married pair of Punch-Clock Villain under Meleagant's employ. Lancelot is very sad about missing the tourney. The wife (who has a crush on Lancelot) lets him go the the tourney as long as I Gave My Word that he would return promptly afterwards. Not that she wants to keep him captive, but there'd be consequences if Meleagant were to catch her letting him go.
Lancelot attends the tourney anonymously, with new arms. It's a huge, wonderful tourney.
Because he's the knight doing best, Guinevere suspects who he is. She sends a message to him: She bides him do his worst. He obeys and proceeds to loose ever round. He's mocked mercilessly for this, but he does not falter. Then Guinevere knows for sure he's her Lancelot. She sends him another message: She bids him do the best he can. He begins to win. The crowds love him and the ladies all want him. Guinevere sits back and smiles, knowing he's all hers.
Gender-Inverted Trope Girl in the Tower
After the tourney, the mysterious knight vanishes. Lancelot returns to his prison. While he was gone, the jailor husband found out what his wife did and reports it to Meleagant. Now Meleagant gets a whole crew of workmen to build a new tower, a Tailor-Made Prison. They build it around Lancelot, walling him up inside. There are no doors, and only a tiny window for food.Meleagant swings Arthur's court to say if Lancelot doesn't show up for their scheduled fight in a year, he wins by default.
Bademagu tries once again to talk his son out of this. His daughter overhears this conversation. She decides she needs to find Lancelot. So she sets out and searches persistently until she finds him. When she finds him, Lancelot is in his tower, Thinking Out Loud, lamenting that Gawain has not come to rescue him. Bademagu's daughter finds a pick and passes it to Lancelot through his narrow window so he can chip his way out. She brings him home to her estate and gets him cleaned up.
Lancelot heads home to Arthur's court. Meleagant's already there and is displeased to see Lancelot arrive Just in Time. Everyone else — Guinevere, Gawain — are thrilled to see him. Lancelot explains that Meleagant has been holding him captive. They finally fight there dual, and Bademagu is not there to protect Meleagant from his own arrogance this time, and Lancelot finally kills him.
