Airdate: Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Senders: Homestar Runner: Gordon Tiecollarondemous
Strong Bad: Kelly, USA
We join Homestar in the middle of answering a HREmail, which has apparently been going on for some time.
Strong Bad: (offscreen) AAAH! (Record Needle Scratch) I can't takes it no more! (cut to Strong Bad) Somebody hand me a rake! (someone hands Strong Bad a rake, and he smacks Homestar in the face with it)
Homestar: Raaake!
Strong Bad: Somebody hand me a shovel! (someone hands Strong Bad a shovel, and again he smacks Homestar in the face with it)
Homestar: Shoveeel!
Strong Bad: Somebody hand me a Garden Weasel! (someone hands Strong Bad a big spiky cultivator, and though he smacks Homestar in the face with it, it doesn't cut away until after the moment of impact, showing Homestar's face covered with a big black "CENSORED" bar, and only showing a bit of blood and some bruising)
Homestar: (affectionately) Aw, a weasel...
Strong Bad: Phew! (pan over to Marzipan, holding the shovel and rake) Thanks, Marzipan!
Marzipan: Always happy to help.
Having reclaimed his e-mail throne, Strong Bad announces he needs some fresh blood for his "triumphant return to checking e-mails". He quickly realizes, however, that checking e-mails on the Steaky Steaky 6 Millennium Edition (which is just a steak sandwich) isn't going to work.
Lappy: Another week with you, Strong Bad, is like 8 dog-weeks in cat-years.
Strong Bad: Um, are you sure you're not Senor Cardgage's computer?
Senor Cardgage: (holding the steak sandwich) No, this steak samwich is Beverly clearly my complooter, Bathsheba.
Strong Bad: Hey, Cardgage! Do you wanna help me come out of e-tirement?
Senor Cardgage: Ummmmmm... no. (turns around and begins walking in place, traffic sounds emanating out of nowhere)
Strong Bad: (uncomfortably backing away) I'm quite scared right now. (turns back to the Lappy, normally) Let's start over. (types his email command) Oh, man, I haven't checked my email in so long, I bet there's gonna be a half-zillion messages waiting for me!
SB brings up his inbox, but instead of getting "a half-zillion messages", he only gets "a half-four messages": one from Homestar saying "Thanks for lending me your rake" and one from "Kelly, USA" ("Mmm, an exotic lady from the far east!") asking about the coolest explosion he's ever seen.
Strong Bad brings up the examples of "the coolest-looking explosion I ever rigged up in Strong Sad's org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday" (which put a crimp in Strong Sad's plans to "stand around in this tuxedo"), and "the coolest explosion I ever saw that had one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings around it that've become so popular lately".
In the latter case, he adds that "the more spit it takes to describe an explosion, the cooler said explosion was, and the cooler said explosion-talker-abouter is!" Strong Bad demonstrates by contrasting the copious spit produced by his description of a cool explosion (which ends up producing enough moisture for Coach Z to take a shower) versus Strong Sad's pitiful attempt.
Coach Z: (annoyed) Are you kiddin' me? I can't even warsh my hands with that mess!
Strong Bad concludes by acknowledging that the coolest explosions come from his crappy old computers, which leads to a montage of computer explosions from previous e-mails and a startling realization from the Lappy.
Strong Bad: I'm afraid so, sweet Lappy. I figured that USB self-destruct button I bought a couple weeks ago woulda clued you in, but it's time. Why wait around for someone else to blow up your computer tomorrow when you can blow it up yourself today?
Lappy: You should put that on your bwees-ness cards.
Strong Bad: (sadly) That's a great idea, Lappy. Goodbye! (pushes the button) Dooj.
The Lappy proceeds to go up in a spectacular explosion with not one, but two blast wavy-Saturn rings, much to the amazement of Bubs and Coach Z.
Bubs: Ponk!
(Cut back to Strong Bad, standing next to the remains of his computer desk)
Strong Bad: And now that...
Homestar: (sticks his head in) Don't call it a comeback.
Strong Bad: Is what I call...
Homestar: Don't call it a comeback!
Strong Bad: A...
Homestar: (disappears off to the side, then reappears upside-down) Don't call it a comeback!
Strong Bad: Comeback!
Homestar: (disappears and reappears right-side up, then leaves with an annoyed sigh)
Strong Bad: Uh, if a Paper survived that, maybe come down... now? (black ashes fall from the top of the screen) Oh, looks like I need a new one of those, too.
Tropes:
- Bad "Bad Acting": Strong Bad unconvincingly plays innocent during the flashback to "the coolest-looking explosion [he] ever rigged up in Strong Sad's org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday."Strong Bad: (scooping a spoon into an empty bowl) Mmm, this cereal is sooooo cereal-y.
- Big Red Button: Strong Bad blows up the Lappy with a "USB self-destruct button".
- Brick Joke: At one point Strong Bad describes an explosion to Coach Z, producing enough spit for the Coach to wash his hair(?). At the end of the episode, Coach Z tells Bubs that he can't wait to hear Strong Bad's story about the explosion caused by the Lappy, expecting to have a nice shower.
- Calling Your Attacks: Played with, Homestar calls out the name of the garden tools Strong Bad uses to whack him upside the head. "Rake! Shovel!"
- Censor Box: One of these covers Homestar's face after he gets whacked with a Garden Weasel. You can still see some bruising and a bit of blood.
- Continuity Nod:
- The montage of computer explosions features the original demises of the Tandy and the Compy, as well as a more explode-y version of Strong Bad knocking away the Tandy in "invisibility" and both computers' final "deaths" from "retirement".
- Coach Z and Bubs are shown watching the Lappy explode while lounging in lawn chairs, like they did while waiting for the fireworks show in "Happy Fireworks".
- Doomed New Clothes: Strong Sad just happens to be planning to "stand around in this tuxedo" right before his saag paneer Pop-Tart explodes.
- End of an Era: The Lappy is no more, its tenure being the longest out of all of Strong Bad's computers.
- Everyone Has Standards: After being generally okay with his antics for the past few years, seeing Senor Cardgage walking in place while traffic noises are heard from nowhere is what finally gets Strong Bad to be creeped out by him.
- Everything Makes a Mushroom: The explosion of the Lappy generates not only a pair of Planar Shockwaves, but a mushroom cloud.
- Grand Finale: For the Lappy Era.
- Incredibly Obvious Bomb: The bomb attached to Strong Sad's "org-ethnic breakfast pouch" has a big, red, flashing light and beeps loudly.
- Mind Screw: The sight of Senor Cardgage walking in place while traffic noises are heard from nowhere rather creeps out Strong Bad.Strong Bad: (nervous) I'm quite scared right now.
- Mixed Metaphor: The Lappy remarks "Another week with you, Strong Bad, is like 8 dog-weeks in cat-years."
- Orphaned Punchline: The cartoon opens with Homestar wearily telling the viewers "And that, Gordon Tiecollarondemous, is why I decided to keep calling you Gordon Tiecollarondemous..."
- Overly Narrow Superlative: Strong Bad claims to have seen so many cool explosions, he's going to need Kelly to be more specific, like "the coolest-looking explosion I ever rigged up in Strong Sad's org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday".
- Planar Shockwave: Strong Bad has an entire category of "coolest explosions I ever saw that had one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings around it that've become so popular lately". He later generates such an explosion (with two Planar Shockwaves) by blowing up the Lappy.
- Shout-Out: Near the end, Homestar tries to interrupt Strong Bad by telling him "Don't call it a comeback!"
- Stuff Blowing Up: A number of things explode in this email, including Strong Bad's Lappy.
- Violence Discretion Shot: The first two instances of Homestar getting hit in the face with garden tools are covered by a Hit Flash. Homestar getting hit in the face with a Garden Weasel happens off-screen, and his face is censored afterwards.
Gardenboy: Well, you know, announcer man, that's right! All you gophers out there better listen up! The Magnificent Marzipan stole all Gardenboy's garden tools, and I don't care if she's a women's champion, a men's champion, a half woman-half man's champion... Uh, do we have one of those?
Announcer: Uh, yes, I believe we do.
Gardenboy: Well, can I fight them instead?
