- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Melchett.
Blackadder: [after hearing Melchett's Insane Troll Logic] Tell me sir, have you ever visited the planet Earth?
- Lethal Chef: Baldrick.
Blackadder: You're the worst cook in the entire world.Baldrick: Oh yeah, that's right.Blackadder:There are amoeba on Saturn who can boil a better egg than you. Your Filet Mignon in sauce Bernaise look like dog-turds in glue...Your plum-duff tastes like it's a molehill decorated with rabbit-droppings...And your cream custard has the texture of cat's vomit If you were to serve one of your meals in staff HQ you'd be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends around for a wine-and-anthrax party.
- Pet the Dog: Melchett's quite friendly with George, passing on regards from George's uncle Bertie and promising him a weekend off so he won't miss the Oxford-Cambridge boat race.
Recap / Blackadder S 4 E 1 Captain Cook
The first episode of the fourth series opens with Blackadder desperately trying to find a way to get out of an upcoming assault on the German trenches. Having shot down Baldrick's plan of getting out of the trenches by joining the catering corps (for fairly legitimate reasons), Blackadder finds himself summoned to General Melchett's office, where he's informed there's an opening for the position of official war artist. Initially uninterested, Blackadder soon perks up when he hears the job comes with a posting to Paris. The only problem? Edmund can't paint to save his life. Upon discovering Lieutenant George is a fairly competent painter, Blackadder has him do something particularly stirring, then passes it off as his own work and gets the job...only to find out as war artist, he is in fact being sent out to take sketches of the German defences. When Blackadder's (largely fabricated) sketches only convince Melchett a full scale attack is needed, Edmund falls back on Baldrick's original plan and joins the catering corps, both getting out of the attack and getting some much needed payback on Melchett and Darling.