The Fifth Doctor is showing new companion Erimem around the TARDIS. They mess about in the wardrobe, get lost a bit in the corridors, and the Doctor tries to covey the idea of a house-trained cat to Erimem, whose pet cat Antranak isn't getting along with the TARDIS very well.
After a while, both realise that the TARDIS corridors are looping in on themselves, and that something's very wrong. They get rather rudely interrupted by a mutated, hyper-intelligent, warped Eldritch Abomination of a... mouse.
Once Erimem and the Doctor are done laughing, the mouse tells them that they're in danger of being cast out into the Vortex forever, since it has complete control of the TARDIS. Luckily, obscure Canon Immigrant Shayde is around to help. With some guile, some taunting and with the help of a very hungry Antranak, the Doctor and Erimem lure the mouse out of its little force field, and Shayde carries it back to Gallifrey where it can become the Time Lords' problem.
It also turns out that the Time Lords secretly fitted the TARDIS with a remote control, which the Doctor immediately gets rid of.
Tropes:
- Alone in a Crowd: Erimem laments this fate when she was to become Pharaoh. People stopped treating her as a person.
- Blatant Lies: The Doctor explaining to Erimem what Polyester is.
- Call-Back: To the fourth Doctor's scarf, the third Doctor's ruffle shirts, the Second's fur coat, K-9 and several older companions.
- Chaos Architecture: The Doctor knows every room in the TARDIS. He just doesn't know where they are at all times. The TARDIS "redecorates".
- Continuity Nod: Shayde calls the Doctor "Lord President".
- Continuity Porn: The wardrobe scene is a good 5 minutes of raffling off old Doctors and companions.
- Curse Cut Short: "You little SSSSHHH..!!"
- Friendship Moment: The Fifth Doctor and Erimem really bond in this story.
- It's Fake Fur, It's Fine: The Second Doctor's coat is explicitly said to be made of polyester.
- Lighter and Softer: This is a very silly story.
- My Greatest Failure: Adric is referred to in a blink and you'll miss it.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: The Unnamed walks out of his own forcefield.
- I Was Quite a Fashion Victim: The Doctor is fine with Erimem trying on his old scarf and hat, but would have preferred it if she hadn't found his extensive collection of ruffle shirts. Or Jamie's kilt.
- Pun: The Doctor and Erimem go OVERBOARD at the end, pushing Berserk Button after Berserk Button.
- Team Pet: Antranac.
- Toilet Humour: The cat's been... marking his territory.
- True Companions: Erimem considers the Doctor and Peri this to her.
- Unwitting Pawn: The Doctor's been doing the Time Lords' "dirty work" unknowingly, because of the remote control Shayde installed.
- Written-In Absence: Peri spends the entire story in her room.
