Video Games
"Oh, and by the way, Jensen? I know you've gone through a lot of physical changes of late, but you didn't become a woman. Stay out of the ladies' restroom."
— Pritchard, Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Colonel: One shouldn't stoop to vulgar levels just because they've set foot on the battlefield. (under his breath) But I sympathize with you there...
Rosemary: You WHAT?
Rosemary: You WHAT?
"M-Master Link! Th-that immodest outfit is quite unbecoming of a hero like you. P-please cover yourself up this instant!"
— Paya if Link talks to her without a shirt, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
"Customizable car decals through external image files. Put 'eggplants' all over the cars, for all I care!"
— Buck Up And Drive, Steam and itch.io store page blurbs
Web Original
"Two words: High Score. Most games have abandoned the idea, but there was a time when the meaningless encouragement of a string of numbers was enough to keep kids lined up around the block, hoping against hope that they would be the lucky one to input the word 'ASS' as their initials."
I did check and it is extremely possible to make a Mii that has what looks like a cock for a face. It's equally possible to name him "Señor Koquonfaes" and make him your StreetPass ambassador who greets everyone in the vicinity with the phrase "I'M WATCHING YOU" in block capitals.
— Zero Punctuation on the Nintendo 3DS
Literally the only reason people play as Miis is so they can play as a character with a PINGAS for a face.
"I can pull my pants down and show him my dick, or I can draw my sword out and kill him, or I can flee, or I can talk to him. I can do anything. There's a Safe for Work Mode and a Not Safe for Work Mode. Of course, the first things I did when I'd been told it existed were to disable the Safe for Work Mode and do gross things with it. And it works! You can create your own twisted story filled with BDSM and bondage if you want, it works!"
"You know, I can't help but wonder sometimes if Nintendo's paralyzing fear of allowing anyone to meaningfully communicate within their games and what passes for their online infrastructure isn't justified."
—Superdickery reacting
to a case of this
to a case of this"...the scripting only works 50% of the time, and when it does work, it is 100% obsessed with my ass and the act of sticking things into my ass. This is not a lie. I doubt there is a single piece of scripting that does not involve the author threatening to violate my sad and saggy rectum."
— Darknation, The 15th Annual Cacowards, on the DOOM wad "UAC Military Nightmare"
, on the DOOM wad "UAC Military Nightmare"Real Life
"We talked about putting cameras on the game so a customer could get his actual face onto a character, but the effort was more than we wanted to deal with. Plus, for any game with a camera there’s the TTP factor. Time to Penis. How long is it gonna take before somebody puts their penis on video? Any time there’s a camera on anything, that always happens."
— Midway Games developer Sal Divita, NBA Jam Oral History
"The moderation costs of LEGO Universe were a big issue in general. They [The LEGO Group] wanted a creative building MMO with a promise of zero penises seen."
"We even had an employee very nearly fired for building a penis. It was on his own property, but a kid wandered into it during a kid test. We're talking 'test operator rushed forward, blocks the monitor, slams the game closed, four alarm fire to find who built the penis' here."
"People saying 'well just allow dicks' - LEGO's brand is utterly trusted by parents. We had to uphold that trust. Which meant zero tolerance."
"We even had an employee very nearly fired for building a penis. It was on his own property, but a kid wandered into it during a kid test. We're talking 'test operator rushed forward, blocks the monitor, slams the game closed, four alarm fire to find who built the penis' here."
"People saying 'well just allow dicks' - LEGO's brand is utterly trusted by parents. We had to uphold that trust. Which meant zero tolerance."
— Megan Fox of Glass Bottom Games
of Glass Bottom Games