Quotes: Video Game Movies Suck
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Film - Live-Action
Quick! Change the channel!
— Zangief, Street Fighter
The movie is an utterly meaningless waste of time. There was no reason to produce it, except to make money, and there is no reason to see it, except to spend money...Parents: If you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie, do not let them date your children.
After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being a movie of a computer game. If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't.
Hollywood doesn't make good video game movies for the same reason General Motors doesn't make motorized unicycles: they're stupid ideas, there's very little money in it and they aren't very good at making their regular product to begin with. They're not adapting the license to tell the epic story on the cinematic field of wonder—they're doing it because they are literally out of ideas.
Rule number one in making a movie about Street Fighter is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two shouldn't have to exist, but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or musical montages of shorter fights. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, Street Fighter was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists.
This movie just sucked on every single level... It makes an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger (a bad episode) look like L.A. Confidential. Iím not even going to go into how the movie is nothing like the game because that would be shooting fish in a barrel. Iím talking about cliches that were old 40 years ago and plot holes you could drive a Mack truck through. The ďmysteryĒ, if you could call it that, doesnít exactly need Sherlock Holmes to solve. Larry Holmes could solve it.
If Super Mario Bros. was the first nail in the coffin of movies based on video games, then Wing Commander was the last because—believe me—nobody ever took video game movies seriously after this complete and utter ruination of gaming's best original sci-fi saga. They shoulda just saved themselves a heap of trouble and put some kid's LP of Wing Commander IV in theaters. (Woulda made a lot more money.)
The answer really is simple: What is the best video game movie? It hasn't been made yet.
— Joshua Ovenshire, Best & Worst Video Game Movies
Wasn't the original plot of Double Dragon 'Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her'? What, was that story just too complex for the writers to figure out?