Quotes / Spit Take

It's conversation, not irrigation!
— Popular retort.

Drakina: Oh, not much. Been relaxing in the resort, going to restaurants, lost my virginity...
Chuck: ..girl, you disappoint me. You know that you should wait with these kinds of statements until I'm drinking something so I can do that funny "is so surprised that he spits his drink everywhere"-thing.
Drakina: Forgive me, it's early!
(Hilarity walks in and spits out his drink.)
Hilarity: Don't worry Chuck, I've got you covered.
Chuck: Well, good thing Hilarity was here, so... no harm done. Also, congrats.

Fluttershy to Twilight: You look just like a princess!
Princess Celestia: That's because she is a princess.
Mane 6: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Hold on a second! [pulls out a glass of water, drinks from it and spits it out]

Joseph: Hey, shopkeep! Gimme a tea!
(Joseph winks at the disguised Oingo.)
Captain Tennille Imposter!Oingo: IT'S TIME!
Boingo: Big bro! Hey, big bro!
Captain Tennille Imposter!Oingo: IT'S TIME! Here's your tea!
(Captain Tennille Imposter!Oingo hands the Stardust Crusaders the poisoned tea. Joseph takes a sip.)
Captain Tennille Imposter!Oingo: They drank it!
Midler: Yeeek! What's this dog doing here?!
(Iggy is taking a bath in Midler's soup. Joseph spits out the poisoned tea in surprise.)

With the last of breakfast done, he took a seat at the table, took a sip of water, unfolded the morning paper, then nearly spat his drink out.
Shinji, Children of an Elder God, chapter 4

You're three for three Shinji; you really have some nice moves, you know" Akagi spoke up from behind her glasses, looking down her clipboard as she studied raw columns of numbers that were utter gibberish to anyone but her and her staff...
"Yeah that's what she said last night" Shinji smiled back with a jerk of his head towards Misato.
The poor Captain damn near sent the coffee she had been sipping back out over the very expensive equipment around her; an expression of shock and utter stunned amazement crashing onto her face as Shinji's casually offered comment echoed across the room.
Misato after her ward did a double entendre, Once More with Feeling

Gunn: Yeah, but if it's an auction house, can't we just, you know, E-Bay it? How much is it? (takes sip of coffee)
Angel/Fred: 33 million dollars. (Gunn chokes)
Gunn: I think my lungs (cough) have coffee.
Angel, "Ground State"

It is an involuntary reflex. Sometimes when humans are surprised, or when we are laughing, we spit out whatever we have in our mouths.
Kevyn Adreyasen, Schlock Mercenary