I'm not usually one who's given to moan
But I've had nothing but trouble with my new summer home
It seemed like a steal, with its lake view most spiffy
But when I asked for the key, things began to turn iffy,
'Cause they gave me three statues all covered in gore
And said to arrange them by the front door
To unlock the house, but I think I was scammed
'Cause half of the doors still seem to be jammed.
There's dirt everywhere, the lights don't work
When I turn on the radio, it just goes berserk
And the T.V. refuses to do as it's bid!
Just loops grainy film of that murder I did.