"Aaaah. OH. OOOOOOOUUGGGGH. OH NO! NO!! NO!!! NO! OH, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! ARGH!! OH, DON'T DO IT AGAIN- EEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGG!! WHY?! AHAHAHAO... I DON'T — NO!!! WHY ARE THEY PLAYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!?! STOP!!!"
—The same poor fucker, a few seconds later.
"I went on the internet this week, and I found this.
"
"—Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear.
"Don't, don't, don't, this will hurt someone."
—R. Budd Dwyer's last words, spoken to reporters trying to take the gun away from him, mere seconds before he Ate His Gun on live TV.
"Holy fucking shit crackers! I... what the... Jesus Fuck! It just... oh my fuck! I can't look away! WHY? DEAR MERCIFUL GOD, WHY?"
—The typical reaction to a shock site.
(maniacal laughter)
—The typical reaction to showing someone else a shock site.
"HEY, EVERYBODY! I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO!!!"
—Some soundbyte of some guy, which plays at full-blast on the infamous Last Measure by the GNAA.
"It's like the rodeo — see how long you can last."
—George Clooney to Esquire, regarding 2 Girls 1 Cup.
, regarding 2 Girls 1 Cup."OH MY GOD! ... OHH-H MY GOD! What the f—rip is he doing? Oh my god, that's freakin' blood! ... I was wondering what the hell those scars were... How could anybody do that to themselves?"
—mykylc, after the "pop" in 1 Man 1 Jar...while eating natto.
, after the "pop" in 1 Man 1 Jar...while eating natto."Let me turn down the volume, man, it's gonna be pretty loud. Alright. ... This guy's not thinkin'... NO! ... OH- ... [gasping for breath]... WHAT... WHAT... WHAT... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? ... That dude better not be alive."
—MBWrestler87, viewing BME Pain Olympics. (Video may or may not become available in the future, as the Wayback Machine has expressed interest in emulating flash players due to the inpending death of Adobe Flash)
, viewing BME Pain Olympics. (Video may or may not become available in the future, as the Wayback Machine has expressed interest in emulating flash players due to the inpending death of Adobe Flash)Stewie: What is this now?
Brian: Just watch.
Stewie: Why are we taping my reaction?
Brian: Just... just watch.
Stewie: Okay. They're lesbians, clearly. I don't know... I don't know what I'm... wait. Wait. What... wha-wha-what? Wha-what?
Brian: (starts laughing)
Stewie: No. No. Ah...ah! AH! AH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! OH MY GOD! Ah! Ah! Ah, I'm never gonna be able to eat ice cream agAAAAOOOH MY GOD! OH! Ah...oh my god... AH! Oh, that is disgusting! Oh my god! Oh, can you imagine if two dudes did that? Oh my god, that'd be even worse! I mean, like, would that...would that even exist? I mean, like, where would you even find that? Let's type that in and see what comes up.
Brian: Just watch.
Stewie: Why are we taping my reaction?
Brian: Just... just watch.
Stewie: Okay. They're lesbians, clearly. I don't know... I don't know what I'm... wait. Wait. What... wha-wha-what? Wha-what?
Brian: (starts laughing)
Stewie: No. No. Ah...ah! AH! AH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! OH MY GOD! Ah! Ah! Ah, I'm never gonna be able to eat ice cream agAAAAOOOH MY GOD! OH! Ah...oh my god... AH! Oh, that is disgusting! Oh my god! Oh, can you imagine if two dudes did that? Oh my god, that'd be even worse! I mean, like, would that...would that even exist? I mean, like, where would you even find that? Let's type that in and see what comes up.
—Family Guy, on 2 Girls 1 Cup.
2 Girls 1 Cup.Sam: Oh, you guys wanna see something really gross?
Carly and Freddie: No.
Sam: Cool. Check out this video. It's called... "Neck Infection".
Carly and Freddie: (horrified reactions and screaming)
Freddie: That is horrible!
Sam: Come on, watch this next part, it's really funny.
Freddie: OH! OH! OH! OH! NO! (runs screaming into a wall)
Sam: Yeeeaaaah.
Carly and Freddie: No.
Sam: Cool. Check out this video. It's called... "Neck Infection".
Carly and Freddie: (horrified reactions and screaming)
Freddie: That is horrible!
Sam: Come on, watch this next part, it's really funny.
Freddie: OH! OH! OH! OH! NO! (runs screaming into a wall)
Sam: Yeeeaaaah.
—iCarly, "iDate a Bad Boy".
Pintsize: Hey Ms. Reed! I got a great picture of Marten the other day, check it out!
Marten: NO DON'T DO IT —
Marten: Aaaand now my mom's been goatse'd. Great.
Marten: NO DON'T DO IT —
Marten: Aaaand now my mom's been goatse'd. Great.
"OOOOH, THEY'RE EATING ICE CREAM! I LOVE ice cream! Eh.....wait a minute, that.....that doesn't look like ice cream. What....what is this? Huh.....WHAT IS THIS?!?! I....I don't want to use the inter—I'm done, I'm out, I don't want to use this anymore, I......"
Sites that are extreme in nature and are not suitable for general consumption. Includes sites that revel and glorify in gore, human or animal suffering, scatological or other aberrant behaviors, perversities or debaucheries. It includes visual or written depictions deemed to be of an unusually horrific nature. These are salacious sites bereft of historical context, educational value or artistic merit created solely to debase, dehumanize or shock. Examples would include necrophilia, cannibalism, scat and amputee fetish sites.
Oh, my god! AAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Why is he tying his balls up?! Motherfucker tying a rope around his dick! What the hell?! Uh-uh! Oh, GAAAWWWD, OOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOOO! OH, GODDAMN! He just took it-... Oh, sh- Michael, no more! Come on!! GAWWWWD! ...OOH, SHIT! Michael, this is the worst I've ever seen! Turn it off, please! I'mma throw up! GOOD LORD, LOOKIT-THERE! My god, he pulled his nuts out!
Grandpa: "Deep Thrust"? What the fuck is this?!
Michael: This is Angry Grandpa watches 2Guys1Horse.
Grandpa: OH, MY GOD!!!! Are you- Oh, my god....
Michael: Story says this guy DIED after this.
Grandpa: HE HAD TO DIE, THAT MOTHERFUCKER! OHH, MY GOD! THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S GOT IT COMING OUT OF HIS MOTHERFUCKING THROAT! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god... Oh, my- I can't say nothing but "Oh, my god!" That's sick, man! That is fucking sick!
(Cut to Michael searching for another shock video...)
Michael: "One... Guy... One... Jar..."
Grandpa: I don't wanna see no GUY!
Michael: Just watch!
Grandpa: I wanna watch goddamn pussy!
Michael: Ok, this is Angry Grandpa watches 1Man1Jar.
Grandpa: ...Huh- ...Oh, my god. Oh, my fucking god. Ohh, my fucking god! ...OHHH, GAAAAWWWWWWWDAAAAAAAMNNNN OOOOOOHOOOHOOOHOOHOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE TO FUCK YOU BLEED TO DEATH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! Michael, I ain't ch- Oh, my GOD! HE IS BLEEDING TO DEATH!! OHH, my-.... OHH, GODDAMN!!!! MY ASS HURTS JUST WATCHIN' THAT!
Michael: Angry Grandpa watches 2Girls1Finger.com... Dad!
Grandpa: What?
Michael: Come here. You gotta see this.
Grandpa: God, you and your...
Michael: Shut up! Have I steered you wrong yet?
Grandpa: Come on, man, you steer me wrong a lot.
Michael: Sit down...
(Grandpa sits down...)
Grandpa: Every time I turn around, you're taking my picture somewhere. At least you ain't got your camera, don't you?
Michael: Your stomach just hit me when you sat down, I think it's gonna show up.
Grandpa: You leave my stomach alone!
Michael: Hold on...
Grandpa (notices the video): What is that?
Michael: Two girls kissing.
(The video starts, we only hear moaning and polka music.)
Grandpa: Oh, my lord... That's sick, Michael! Oh, man...
(Grandpa alternates between gagging and laughing at the video.)
Grandpa: Michael, that is sick! Ohh, my god, that's sick.
(Michael can be heard gagging slightly.)
Grandpa: Man, there are people out in the world that- Ohh, my-... Oh, my- (gags) Oh my- Ohh, god..
(The music momentarily cuts out before cutting back in... Wet splashing noises begin to come out of the video...)
Grandpa: Ohh, man, what's-
(Grandpa winces and looks away for a second)
Grandpa: Oh, my- ...NO! (laughs) A damn Baby Ruth! note
Michael: I just puked in my mouth...
Grandpa: That's a damn Baby Ruth, bo! (gags, again.)
(The video ends, Michael laughs.)
Grandpa: That's sick.
Grandpa: I done seen this, man!
Michael: No, you saw 2Girls1Finger.
Grandpa: Oh, goddamn, what's this?!
Michael: This is 2Girls1Cup.
Grandpa: One cup??
Michael: Yeah, watch the video, dad!
Grandpa: Lookit them goddamn titties! ...Huh? OH NO! OHHH, NO! Michael, I don't wanna look at this no more... OH, GODDAMN, THAT'S THE NASTIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! OH, MY GOD! Oh, come on, man! I don't wanna see no more, man! It ain't gonna make me sick! OHHHHH, GOD! OHHHHHHHHHH, SHIT! Turn that off, man!
Michael: That was 2Girls1Cup.
Grandpa: Goddamn, those two girls, they had that one cup, I wouldn't fuck them with your dick! Ooh, that's nasty!
(Michael tries to play the video again)
Grandpa: I ain't watching it again! I ain't gon' watch that shit again, I'll tell you that now! Ughh!
"Please don't be fucked up..."
—Psychadelicsnake, watching 2girls1cup for the first time
