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Fan Works
Shinji Ikari was not a people person. He lacked severely in people skills. This went doubly so for girls that showed signs that they liked him. With Asuka's arm entwined with his and her warm tone of voice, his mind turned to mush. "Um, well, you see..."
— Children of an Elder God, chapter 4
I'll confess one thing; I've never been very good at getting used to new people.
—Asuka, Evangelion 303, chapter 3
I don't do one-night stands and I don't have time for a relationship. I almost have too much on my plate with school, community-service hours, and saving the world from evil mutants. Figuring out women takes too much time and energy. That, and most people just manage to irritate me.
Films — Live-Action
"I’m not very good with people. Even myself."
— Barry Allen, The Flash (2023)
Literature
Jurgen had never liked people very much, and their returned indifference was fine by him. That was the main reason he’d joined the Imperial Guard: they told you what to do and you got on and did it, without any of the social niceties of civilian life he found both tedious and baffling. Since becoming a commissar’s personal aide, however, he’d been forced to interact with others in ways which went far beyond the simple exchange of orders and acknowledgement, although he remained obstinately wedded to the most straightforward approach in dealing with them.
—Ciaphas Cain, "The Smallest Detail"
Live-Action TV
"You actually want me to tell you how to fit in? (sigh) Well, um... Suffer a trip to the pub for a start. Using nicknames is good, or at least don't refer to your colleagues by their rank all the time. Crack a joke or two, preferably at someone else's expense. Buy a round of coffees, it's really not... (notices Morton is taking notes, looks away in disgust) ...rocket science."
— DCI Banks, "Dry Bones That Dream"
I used to be so good at meeting grown-ups. I'd just sing 'Itsy-Bitsy Spider' flawlessly and then ride that wave until bath-time. But now, it's anybody's guess.
— Detective Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Colin Jost: Next week Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg will testify before Congress about Facebook's alleged mishandling of millions of users' data. Here to comment is Mark Zuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg: Hello Colin (turns to face Colin) Begin eye contact... two... three and away. (turns to the camera) Nailed it.
Colin: Th- that was great Mark, thanks for being here. You know, a lot of people are calling on you now to resign from Facebook. Are you going to step down?
Zuckerberg: No way homie, because according to our data sets, I don't have to and you can't make me. But I do recognise that Facebook has mishandled our users' private data, and tonight I'd like to apologise to all 87 million of you. One by one. I'm sorry Ethan Cooperbird of Van Nuys, California, for disclosing that you frequently visit you ex-girlfriend's photo album titled "Cancun 2010", especially one photo for an average of 2.3 minutes.
Colin: Yeah, see, I think that's the kind of info people don't want out there. Like why would anyone trust... (Zuckerberg randomly starts poking him in the chest)
Zuckerberg: Poke. Poke. Remember that feature? Poke. Poke. It was flirting for cowards. Hey, remember, they made a movie about me? Yeah, it was called Gladiator. (shriek) That's a joke. Funny, huh Colin? (shriek, shriek, shriek)
Colin: Are you laughing or screaming?
Zuckerberg: Absolutely homie. Look, unlike my facial expression, Facebook is going to change.
Colin: Great, so users will to be able to delete their data?
Zuckerberg: No.
Colin: Why not?
Zuckerberg: Because it's mine. You gave it to me, no backsies. And if you don't like it you can "Zuck it". (shriek, shriek, shriek) Hey Colin, remember we were best friends at Harvard?
Colin: No, we were not friends.
Zuckerberg: Yeah, I remember I was like "I can't steal Winkelvoss' idea", and you were like "Do it nerd, I dare you". Anyway, I took your advice and now I'm rich. Dab. (dabs) My point is, sure maybe Facebook sold out our democracy to Russian Troll farms. My bad? On the other hand: Farmville. To be honest, I feel great about Facebook's future. I sleep easy at night. Upside-down in my pressurised sleep bag. And sure, I still have all your photos, your memories, your unspoken thoughts and fears. But America, look me in my shark eyes when I say this: that on behalf of everyone at Facebook, I'm sorry. On opposite day! (hysterical laughter) Dab! I'm dabbing!
Mark Zuckerberg: Hello Colin (turns to face Colin) Begin eye contact... two... three and away. (turns to the camera) Nailed it.
Colin: Th- that was great Mark, thanks for being here. You know, a lot of people are calling on you now to resign from Facebook. Are you going to step down?
Zuckerberg: No way homie, because according to our data sets, I don't have to and you can't make me. But I do recognise that Facebook has mishandled our users' private data, and tonight I'd like to apologise to all 87 million of you. One by one. I'm sorry Ethan Cooperbird of Van Nuys, California, for disclosing that you frequently visit you ex-girlfriend's photo album titled "Cancun 2010", especially one photo for an average of 2.3 minutes.
Colin: Yeah, see, I think that's the kind of info people don't want out there. Like why would anyone trust... (Zuckerberg randomly starts poking him in the chest)
Zuckerberg: Poke. Poke. Remember that feature? Poke. Poke. It was flirting for cowards. Hey, remember, they made a movie about me? Yeah, it was called Gladiator. (shriek) That's a joke. Funny, huh Colin? (shriek, shriek, shriek)
Colin: Are you laughing or screaming?
Zuckerberg: Absolutely homie. Look, unlike my facial expression, Facebook is going to change.
Colin: Great, so users will to be able to delete their data?
Zuckerberg: No.
Colin: Why not?
Zuckerberg: Because it's mine. You gave it to me, no backsies. And if you don't like it you can "Zuck it". (shriek, shriek, shriek) Hey Colin, remember we were best friends at Harvard?
Colin: No, we were not friends.
Zuckerberg: Yeah, I remember I was like "I can't steal Winkelvoss' idea", and you were like "Do it nerd, I dare you". Anyway, I took your advice and now I'm rich. Dab. (dabs) My point is, sure maybe Facebook sold out our democracy to Russian Troll farms. My bad? On the other hand: Farmville. To be honest, I feel great about Facebook's future. I sleep easy at night. Upside-down in my pressurised sleep bag. And sure, I still have all your photos, your memories, your unspoken thoughts and fears. But America, look me in my shark eyes when I say this: that on behalf of everyone at Facebook, I'm sorry. On opposite day! (hysterical laughter) Dab! I'm dabbing!
— Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update
Capt. Janeway: Having fun?
Seven of Nine: No.
Janeway: That's probably because you've been standing here by yourself.
Seven: I don't understand the rules and procedures for this type of social occasion.
Janeway: The rules are simple. Choose a group of people. Listen to their conversation. Then, when you feel you have something to contribute, chime in.
Seven: Chime in?
Janeway: Say something. Join the discussion.
Seven: I will try, Captain.
(Seven walks over to the Doctor and Ensign Samantha Wildman)
The Doctor: The early stages of Ktarian development are astounding. Naomi has grown five centimeters since her last physical, and that was only three weeks ago.
Wildman: It seems like every time I turn around I'm recycling her clothes back into the replicator.
Seven: (interrupting) Children assimilated by the Borg are placed in maturation chambers for seventeen cycles.
(pause)
Wildman: Interesting. Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to Neelix.
Podcasts
Antigone: Rudyard, do we bring out the worst in people?
Rudyard: I don't know. They certainly bring out the worst in us.
Rudyard: I don't know. They certainly bring out the worst in us.
— Wooden Overcoats, "Old School Funn"
Tabletop Games
Usually solitary souls, some grave wardens fall into the practise of only talking to the dead and find it difficult to hold normal conversations. Often, when asked questions, a warden will stare blankly at the person, not because he is slow-witted or deaf, but because it takes him a moment to remember that other people can actually talk. This is far from the hardest part of interacting with a warden, however, as they tend to only want to talk about death and see the trials and troubles of life as pale by comparison to Morr’s ever-looming shadow. It is little wonder that few people bother with more than a simple nod before heading on their way.
—Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay: Career Compendium - The Ultimate Career Reference
Video Games
"You're a man of many talents, but 'talking' isn't one of them."
— Aerith to Cloud, Final Fantasy VII Remake
"I am Alice Lorange. You know... like an orange. You don't laugh... Why? The others always laugh."
— Alice Lorange, Les Quatre Alices
Annabel Usher: At least the war golem's still in formaldehyde.
Hayden Montag: It's funny that you should mention that...
Annabel Usher: Funny-comical or funny-peculiar?
Hayden Montag: I don't really understand the phrase. I was auditioning it for future personable conversation.
Annabel Usher: ...Mixed success, then...
Hayden Montag: It's funny that you should mention that...
Annabel Usher: Funny-comical or funny-peculiar?
Hayden Montag: I don't really understand the phrase. I was auditioning it for future personable conversation.
Annabel Usher: ...Mixed success, then...
Why do my words
Always lose their meaning?
What I feel, what I say
There's such a rift between them
He said "I can't
really seem to read you."
I just stood there
Never know what I should do.
Always lose their meaning?
What I feel, what I say
There's such a rift between them
He said "I can't
really seem to read you."
I just stood there
Never know what I should do.
— Laura Shigihara, "Everything's Alright" from To the Moon
Western Animation
"He's beautiful! Can you imagine tomorrow's papers? There's not enough ink to print all this faux pas!"
— Pierce Chapman regarding Oswald Cobblepot/the Penguin, Batman: The Animated Series, "Birds of a Feather"
Gyro: Shut up everyone! I've done something brilliant!
Scrooge: Ah, Gyro. [to Louie] Gyro Gearloose, my head of research and development.
Board Member: I'm sorry, but we—
Gyro: Apology accepted. Now try to keep up with my mind-numbing genius.
Scrooge: Gyro, what did we say about interacting with other people?
Gyro: The cards. [sighs] Fine.
Scrooge: Ah, Gyro. [to Louie] Gyro Gearloose, my head of research and development.
Board Member: I'm sorry, but we—
Gyro: Apology accepted. Now try to keep up with my mind-numbing genius.
Scrooge: Gyro, what did we say about interacting with other people?
Gyro: The cards. [sighs] Fine.
"You know I hate these things. Talking to people. Waving to people. People."
— Raine Whispers, The Owl House, "Follies at the Coven Day Parade"
