Quotes / No Sidepaths, No Exploration, No Freedom

Web Animation

Arin: Shut up, I don't care, nobody likes you! You took fun and you made it un-fun; how'd you even do that?! Maybe I should go dowse for a better game, huh??
Wiimote: Hey, man, that's low.
Arin: So's my interest in playing you again OHH, SHIT! BURN! BURN!

— Egoraptor on The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, Sequelitis

"It's more like an amusement park ride. Specifically, the Back to the Future ride at Universal Studios. Christopher Lloyd tells you that only YOU can save the world, but then you just get tossed about for a while and then everything gets resolved regardless of who paid attention... The difference being that the Back to the Future ride didn't charge you EIGHTY BUCKS to get on!"

— Zero Punctuation on Titanfall

Web Original

You're given a few metres of leeway either side to explore, but otherwise you trot down the corridor and don't you f***ing dare turn around. In Fable: The Journey there is no pretence. A team of designers has meticulously laid a rollercoaster track for you. Sit back, rest in their pacing, savour their controlled camera angles, gasp at their pyrotechnical timings. Relax, they say, like comely tour guides: enjoy the Journey.

— Simon Parkin, on Fable: The Journey

The best part of The Tube is its wallpaper, which is very pretty. Square Enix spent millions of dollars designing The Tube's wallpaper. It is very detailed and shiny, but it is only wallpaper.

—Pat R. on Final Fantasy XIII, "The World Is Tube"

Web Video

"Wow, this door isn't locked. I didn't think that was possible. I was starting to suspect these were all welded pieces of steel."

— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind.

"CoD assumes a lot about the significance behind a button press. When it asks you to "Press E to pay respects", it assumes a lot about what that bare minimum of interaction is supposed to represent."

—George Weidman on "CoD With a Double Jump"

Jon: Hey, Michael.
Michael: Yeah?
Jon: Try going right.
Michael: I can't...I can't go right.
Jon: Hey, Michael.
Michael: Yeah?
Jon: Try going left.
Michael: I can't go left.
Jon: Hey, Michael.
Michael: Yeah?
Jon: Try to play the game.
Michael: I thought I was playing the game, Jon. (holds up a SNES controller) But I've been using the wrong controller the whole time.

— JonTron on Final Hallway XIII

"And so begins the hallway. The endless, 40-hour hallway... Oh, you may find that the hallway branches off at times and you think you escaped! But these paths lead about only fifty yards to a dead-end and some minor treasure. With no way to continue, you must turn back and return to the hallway. Sometimes you may enter into a larger room, some wider area, but there is still only one way in, one way out and the hallway continues."

— Spoony on Final Fantasy XIII

"... a humorless and less-interesting Dragon's Lair."

—Jim Sterling on Rambo: The Video Game

"A big old flat nothing going on with a gimmick, just kinda layered over it. It's pretty great, if you're into not-that-great things, I suppose."

— raocow, on 8 powers, a ROMhack of Super Mario World

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