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Quotes / My Sister Is Off-Limits

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    Advertising 
If your sister hangs around your friends, eventually one of them is going to hook up with her.
—From a Spike TV commercial describing lessons learned from Star Wars

    Anime & Manga 
"Never...you and Naruto...doing things like that...it's...AN INFAMY!"

Atticus: (expression souring) Bastion... Misawa. ...Hm. He's got it bad, doesn't he! He's got a crush on Alexis!
Zane: Does he?
Atticus: Absolutely! Are you blind?! ... As her older brother, I'll never allow it.
Zane: Allow what?

Co-worker: Section Chief Beck, I would advise you not to look at Lenalee that way.
Man: Why? Does she have a lover?
Co-worker: She has a brother.

    Comic Books 
Linda Danvers: 'Fraid you're on your own today, Joanie. I've got a date for lunch.
Joan: With the gorgeous Mr. Philip Decker, I presume—?
Linda: Nope. A different man... named Clark Kent.
Joan: Clark Kent... THE Clark Kent, the news guy from GBS?! Don't you ever see guys who aren't nationally famous?
Linda: Relax, Joan. Clark's my cousin!
Joan: Oh, yeah? Think you could maybe arrange a little introduction, then...?
Linda: JOANIE!
Joan: Okay, okay!

Mary Marvel: That's my brother you've got your hands all over, Supergirl! Why don't you pick on someone your own age?
Captain Marvel: Actually, Mary, I thought it—
Mary Marvel: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THOUGHT!

    Fan Works 
Trunks: Goten's not your type.
Bra: So what is my type? Since you seem to know what I prefer.
Trunks: Someone who isn't Goten.

    Film — Animated 
You are absolutely gonna love her. But don't love her too much. That's my sister Red. Or I'll crush every bone in your body.

    Film — Live-Action 
"Take your eyes off my sister! Get out! Get out, all of you!"
Domingo, Blindman

Can we not talk about my sister in relation to A: massive wide-ons and B: Steven's erect penis?
Oliver, The World's End

Sean Archer: I don't even know why that fucking yeti jumped me yesterday.
Pollux Troy: Dubov? You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister the night he was sent here.
Sean Archer: I guess that explains why he's very upset.

    Literature 
"She's Ron's sister, Harry told himself firmly. Ron's sister. She's out of bounds. He would not risk his friendship with Ron for anything."
Harry Potter, who, of course, ends up married to her anyway.

Melali gave Adolin a pointed glare. What had he done to annoy her, again? It had been forever since they'd courted.
Adolin: How's your sister?
Melali: Off limits.
Oh, right. That was what he'd done. Honest mistake.

    Live-Action TV 
Chandler: It's my wedding day, okay? If you were getting married, I would never do anything to upset you.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Friends, "The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding"

Barney: You banged my sister! My sweet, little, innocent—
Ted: Pierced.
Barney: Really, where? Don't answer that!

George: I told you, man, you can't go out with my sister.
Ernie: Hey, if I had a sister, I'd let YOU go out with her!
George: I wouldn't go out with your sister.
Ernie: Oh, so my imaginary sister's not good enough for you?!
George: Look, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but... I just know she'd be NASTY.
Ernie: Yeah, probably.
The George Lopez Show, "George's Relatively Bad Idea"

Jamie: Your sister's fit.
Roy: I will cut your eyes out.

Raj: (smiling and happy tone) Okay this goes without saying buy I'm going to say it anyway. (suddenly serious) Don't touch my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch her? She's covered in airport germs.
Raj: Soooo not taliing to you, I'm talking to him! (turns and glares at Howard)

Raj: Leonard, I swear to God, if your sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her!
Leonard: My sister's thirty-eight and married.
Raj: All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter!
The Big Bang Theory, "The Cohabitation Formulation"note 

McKay: She's married and she's my sister.
Sheppard: I was just saying hi.
McKay: I know what you were doing— I've seen that look before, Kirk.

    Music 
"You wanna fuck my sister?"
"Yes."
"You wanna fuck my sister!?"
"Yes."
"$26.50."
"Deal."
Stephen Lynch, The Best Friends Song
Alternatively
"Wait a minute!"
"What?!"
"I just want to make one thing clear... I do not like Julia Roberts movies!"

    Video Games 
"What a girl! I think she likes you. Word to the wise, though - she don't put out. Which is convenient, 'cause if she did, I'd have to kill you."
Patrick "Packie" McReary, Grand Theft Auto IV

Rean: By the way, Elise. You said there was a struggle yesterday. Did those guys do anything to you?
Elise: O-Oh, no. It wasn't anything that bad. They just grabbed my arm and stroked my cheek a little...
Rean: Ah, okay then. The only suitable punishment for that is D E A T H. I'll handle this personally. I'm sure if tie them to Valimar and take them for a nice stroll in the clouds, they'll behave.
Elise: R-Rean?!
Juna: All right, STOP right there!
Altina: ...It was then that Instructor Rean quietly snapped.

"I know you've secretly got your eyes on Lilly, you scumbag! I'll beat you so bad, you won't be even able to think about approaching her!"

Bloodedge: (Sees Nine holding two fireballs.) W-Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second! Hey! Just calm down for now, yeah? Tell me what I did!
Nine: What you..? Why do I need a reason to vaporize you right here?
Bloodedge: Wha...? I don't know what you're saying—!
Nine: Let me help you remember by beating it back into you! No one fools around with my kid sister! When I'm done with you, your limbs may no longer be attached to your body!

"Commanding officer or not, lay a hand upon my sisters and you'll never use it again!"
Einheria Venus, Bravely Default

    Web Animation 
Church: What else was on the ship?
Grif: What do you mean!?
Church: Yeah like guns, or weapons...
Tucker: Or snacks! [to Church] Dude I'm just asking 'cause I know you wanted to.
Grif: Nope, just the girl. Sorry, there weren't any more aliens for you guys to fuck!
Tucker: That's okay, we can still fuck this one!
Sister: Woohoo!
Grif: God dammit! Never mind, just send her back!
Red vs. Blue, "Yellow Fever"

    Webcomics 
Sven: Heh, yeah. Dora would kill me if she ever found out. [Beat Panel] Oh shit, she really would kill me.
Faye: So much for the afterglow.

    Web Original 
17: 'Ey... don't bang my sister.
Krillin: Oh.
18: (kisses Krillin's cheek) He might~.
Krillin: (eager) Oh!
17: But don't.
Krillin: (disappointed) Oh...

(401:) Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
(301:) I accept this challenge.

(336:) If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed.

(813:) I'm fucking your sister right now.
(1-813:) You motherfucker.
(813:) She's next.

    Western Animation 
Scanlan: So...Cassandra, was it? Seeing as how we are two...unattached adults-
Percy: No.

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