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Man: Can I drive?
Devil: This is Hell, kid. You get the minivan.
<Cut to the man driving a minivan>
Man: Noooooo!
Devil: This is Hell, kid. You get the minivan.
<Cut to the man driving a minivan>
Man: Noooooo!
— Hyundai Tiburon commercial
Films — Live-Action
Jonathan: Dad's always been boring and annoying.
Mrs. Brown: Oh! Talk about that. There's more to your father than meets the eye.
Jonathan: Like what?
Mrs. Brown: When I first met him, he was a very different man.
<flashback to a young Mr. and Mrs. Brown riding his motorcycle to the hospital to have their first kid while "Born to Be Wild" plays>
Young Mrs. Brown: Not gonna let this change us, right?
Young Mr. Brown: No way, baby!
<the two enter the hospital; Gilligan Cut to them stepping out in boring clothes with their newborn, the motorcycle replaced with a Volvo station wagon>
Mrs. Brown (narrating): But becoming a father does strange things to a man.
Young Mr. Brown: Could you be careful, there's a baby here. Can you step back, there's a baby coming through. Could you keep those flowers away, please? He's too young for pollen.
Young Mrs. Brown: Where's the bike, darling?
Young Mr. Brown: This <pointing to the Volvo> is our new car.
Young Mrs. Brown: What? So beige, isn't it?
Young Mr. Brown: It's a calm and neutral color. Could you get in?
Mrs. Brown: Oh! Talk about that. There's more to your father than meets the eye.
Jonathan: Like what?
Mrs. Brown: When I first met him, he was a very different man.
<flashback to a young Mr. and Mrs. Brown riding his motorcycle to the hospital to have their first kid while "Born to Be Wild" plays>
Young Mrs. Brown: Not gonna let this change us, right?
Young Mr. Brown: No way, baby!
<the two enter the hospital; Gilligan Cut to them stepping out in boring clothes with their newborn, the motorcycle replaced with a Volvo station wagon>
Mrs. Brown (narrating): But becoming a father does strange things to a man.
Young Mr. Brown: Could you be careful, there's a baby here. Can you step back, there's a baby coming through. Could you keep those flowers away, please? He's too young for pollen.
Young Mrs. Brown: Where's the bike, darling?
Young Mr. Brown: This <pointing to the Volvo> is our new car.
Young Mrs. Brown: What? So beige, isn't it?
Young Mr. Brown: It's a calm and neutral color. Could you get in?
Literature
You know, this mission is seriously important. I'm thinking the morph should be a little more, I don't know, glamorous. I mean, going beaver to save an entire colony of aliens is like putting James Bond behind the wheel of a minivan. With a bumper sticker that says, "World's Greatest Mom." No offense.
— Marco, Animorphs: The Resistance
Why don't you just buy me a minivan, zip me into mom jeans, and shoot me in the face?
— Melanthe, Demon from the Dark
Music
Whoa, whoa, where do all the porn stars go when the lights go down?
I wonder where all the porn stars go, 'cause when you need one, they are never around
I think they moved out to the suburbs, and now they're blond, bland, middle-class Republican wives
They've got blond, bland, middle-class Republican children, and blond, bland, middle-class Republican lives
Where do all the porn stars go when the lights go down? I think I know where all the porn stars go?
They all become Volvo-driving soccer moms
I wonder where all the porn stars go, 'cause when you need one, they are never around
I think they moved out to the suburbs, and now they're blond, bland, middle-class Republican wives
They've got blond, bland, middle-class Republican children, and blond, bland, middle-class Republican lives
Where do all the porn stars go when the lights go down? I think I know where all the porn stars go?
They all become Volvo-driving soccer moms
'Cause it's hard to be cool when you're behind the wheel of an eight-passenger automobile
In a big bubble, cruisin' down the street with Barney blarin' and a baby seat
Hey, it can be done, but I'm tellin' you man, it's hard to be cool in a minivan!
In a big bubble, cruisin' down the street with Barney blarin' and a baby seat
Hey, it can be done, but I'm tellin' you man, it's hard to be cool in a minivan!
Web Video
You rap like a soccer mom, that's why you roll with caravans!
