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Quotes / Inexplicably Preserved Dungeon Meat

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"And then, I break open the wall of the castle, and there's a turkey inside? And it's been there for... who knows how long, but I've got to eat it? The whole thing simply seems implausible to me, Jacob."

Werewolf: Dracula, Dracula!
Dracula: This had better be important, Werewolf, because I am trying to enjoy my tea!
Werewolf: There's a Belmont in the castle!
Dracula: (spits tea) A Belmont in the castle?! Aaah shit-! God damn! Fuck! Piss! Oh my god! Already?! Oh my god! God damn- Death! Death! Help me stuff these pot roasts into these candles! I can't let BALLmont get to them. Last time I had these pot roasts, he stole them! Fuckin' bastard.

Found embedded in a wall, this fully-cooked and seasoned chicken comes from unknown origins.
— description of Mysterious Wall Chicken, Dust: An Elysian Tail

Several months have passed since I wandered into the castle. I have managed to survive thus far by rummaging through treasure chests without the monsters taking notice. Will I find something palatable today? For once, I'd like to crack a chest open and find a mouthwatering hunk of meat...

"Mmmm-mmmmm, nummy! A drumstick you found in a hole in the ground of a haunted castle!"
— WesleyThomasm, YouTube comment on episode 2 of Newfiebangaa's Let's Play of Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

Palutena: Now, now, I think we can all agree that Pit's not a buzzard. Though I have seen him eat some questionable things off the ground...
Pit: Floor ice cream gives you health!

"Who comes down here to have a picnic, though? I mean, really? This is a gosh-dang sewer. The rotten smells just add to the taste, or something? Nothing like tangerine with a side of fart."

"Five second rule! ... That was five seconds, right?"
Zagreus, Hades

"Wall chicken. What was I thinking... *bleurgh*..."
Alcedor, Infernax

Dracula keeps stuff that kills him hidden in his candles. There's probably a very good, logical reason for that, I just can't figure it out myself. I'm sure it'll make perfect sense when it's explained to me. He also keeps beef in his walls.
SolidSharkey on Castlevania

Officer Haley: Dude, did you just pick up a cocktail from the ground and drink it?
Sergeant Des: A mocktail. It was refreshing!
Officer Haley: Sheesh... you must have a killer immune system.

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