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"I'm setting it back to 1986. As far as the computer knows, my last login was ten years in the future."
"They're not big on sanity checks at HQC, are they?"
"Once, by accident, I set the year on this thing to 'printer'."

"Welcome to the newest Game Boy exclusive that is neither exclusive or would fit on a Game Boy, taking up an obscene 40 megabytes. Jesus fuck. Back in my day, you could package two hours worth of content into just three megabytes - with audio! Now we're stuck with bloated engines and developers who don't appreciate the struggle of the data cap, as even a ten minute romp like this must be shoved into the inevitable rise of feature creep, soaking even into the finished products."

"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."
Gerald Weinberg

"Open door, turn on CD32. Insert CD but WAIT with closing door till the music has played. Close door and game will boot automatically. Otherwise it will not boot due to a bug in the CD32 which will not free the memory as it should."
— The instructions on how to start Kang Fu on an Amiga CD32, as featured in The Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the console.

"If these guys made Crysis, you'd only be able to run it on the fucking Starship Enterprise."
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Zero Punctuation review of AMY

"Its programming was modified to enable it to travel through alien dimensions. Seems there might have been an error..."
— The Pokédex entry for Porygon-Z, Pokémon Y and Alpha Sapphire

"Here's an example of how [machine learning] works in theory: a machine will keep hitting every single wall in a room for 6 months until it learns how to use the door, then it will know how to use that one door; however, it has no clue on how to deal with the sliding door in the next room and needs an additional four months trying to figure that out. That's in theory. Here's how it works in practice: a bunch of people make homophobic videos on YouTube. The algorithms correctly detect that and demonetize that and demote that, but then these algorithms associate talking about LGBT topics in general with being wrong and offensive, and then when they get reviewed, they get reviewed by a moderator in a country where being gay is illegal or frowned upon, and the taboo of the topic gets stronger and stronger, and more and more LGBT people keep getting demonetized. And then YouTube gets sued for LGBT discrimination."
The Mysterious Mr. Enter, on why machine learning isn't fit for moderation purposes, Understanding COPPA

"Open file; Sibelius crashed. Save file; Sibelius crashed. Copy notes; Sibelius crashed. Play score; Sibelius crashed. Quit Sibelius; Sibelius crashed. Open Sibelius; Sibelius crashed. Read email; Sibelius crashed. Grind to the gore; Sibelius crashed. Sibelius crashed. Sibelius crashed... Sibelius crashed... Sibelius crashed... Sibelius crashed... Sibelius crashed... Sibelius crashed..."

Windows Vista: Can't Even Play Solitaire.

Every screenshot I see posted of terrible things in the VVVVVV source code only makes me more powerful

Perhaps Windows 10’s biggest failing these five years is a rather recent one – a string of problematic updates that have been breaking more things than they fix.
We’ve been documenting them, and it’s quite concerning how almost every update for Windows 10 ends up causing issues for some people. Now, we must stress that not everyone experiences these problems, and very few experience every problem, but there’s a large number of people have found that their PC has begun misbehaving after an update.
It’s certainly given the impression that there’s something wrong with current Windows 10 leadership. Rather than having people excited about new updates that bring new features, many people now approach the Windows Update tool with trepidation. Could this be the update that breaks my PC?

My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again.
A comment found in Team Fortress 2's source code

I think most people would vomit if they saw the coding for this.

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