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Quotes: Heterosexual Life-Partners

Real Life

This imposes on me at the outset a very tiresome bit of demolition. It has actually become necessary in our time to rebut the theory that every firm and serious friendship is really homosexual.
C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The Bird and I did like the same type, and we would pass boys back and forth. Once, after an unsuccessful evening's prowl of Saint-Germain, we returned to the hotel, and the Bird said, "Well, that just leaves us," to which he says I said, "Don't be macabre."
Gore Vidal on Tennessee Williams, Palimpsest

You're having more fun with these two Doctors in five minutes than you did with Baker and Troughton together in three hours in season Twenty-Two (as much as I love that story, they are kept apart for the length of a bible) — kicking at the air like cartoon characters, suffering the indignity of bum rash as they are hauled through a warehouse, and trying to figure out if they know each other all the way. Tennant and Morrissey have an easy chemistry that's especially highlighted in moments of jeopardy. Rather than accusing each other of not being the Doctor, they laugh and hug and bask in the madness of what they have just experienced...Despite the fact that he is dressed up as the Doctor for half of the story, Jackson Lake emerges as one of the most vivid characters to feature in the Davies era. Thanks not only to David Morrissey's superb performance but the subtlety of the script that forces him to wear a mask, rips it away to discover the horrific truth and then allows him some redemption and peace at the climax. We go on one hell of an emotional journey with the character. Tennant is riding high on his success, engaging, funny and warm and falling into a gentle on-screen bromance with Morrissey. It makes me wonder if a trick has been missed with an all male TARDIS team.

Fiction

Super Friends version of Superman: Here is to being best friends forever in a completely platonic way!
Super Friends version of Batman: You said it! We are as close as two friends can possibly be without going over any boundaries that would be indicative to our being more than friends!

Tien: No, Chaozu! My partner!
Yamcha: Gay.
Tien: Hey, at least I don't spend all my time with a cat!
Yamcha: Hey! At least I get some pus—Wow, that did not come out right.

Terrence: Wow, Scott really hates us, Phillip!
Phillip: Yes! Perhaps he's homophobic!
[Beat]
Terrence: But we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?!
South Park - Not Without My Anus

I wish to cherish you like a brother!
It is her, the goddess,
who comes to unite us this day!
Yes, let us share the same fate,
let us be united until death!
Au Fond du Temple Saint, The Pearl Fishers

No, I do not know where Power Man is. We're partners, not a couple.
Iron Fist, Dr. Strange: The Oath #1

Denny: How did the judge know about our sleepovers?
Alan: Who knows?
Denny: Is it odd that two grown heteros have sleepovers?
Alan: Who cares? I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Jeremy: [mocking] She might be "the one?"
Mark: Fuck off, Jeremy.
Jeremy: [inner voice] I'm his one.

Bros before hoes.
Unknown

Bromance—
Nothing really gay about it.
I love you in the most heterosexual way.

I don't want to sound gloomy, but, at some point of your lives, every one of you will notice that you have in your life one person, one friend whom you love and care for very much. That person is so close to you that you are able to share some things only with him. For example, you can call that friend, and from the very first maniacal laugh or some other joke you will know who is at the other end of that line. We used to do that with him so often. And then when that person is gone, there will be nothing like that in your life ever again.
Christopher Lee, following the death of lifelong friend Peter Cushing

Best friends can be very gay.
— Sasha Alexander

It's not simply having a best friend; it's not really parallel to anything we have in human culture. A moirail is explicitly a form of soulmate, not in the "get together and make babies" sense that humans associate the term with, but in the "fall asleep on each other and the rest of the world doesn't matter" sense. In the case of Karkat and Gamzee, it's also managing each other; Karkat keeps Gamzee from hurting himself or others, and Gamzee keeps Karkat chilled out, to overly simplify it. They don't want to kiss; they want to pap on the face and hug and then maybe they go up to the roof and Gamzee listens while Karkat bitches out the stars.
Cultstuck commenter Starcrossedsky explaining moirallegiance

[when asked whether she and Ann were a couple]
Leslie: No, tragically we're both heterosexual.

JD: Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified
Though I'm proud to call you "chocolate bear"
The crowd will always talk and stare.
Turk: I feel exactly those feelings too
And that's why I keep them inside
'Cause this bear can't bare the world disdain
And sometimes is easier to hide
JD & Turk: Than explain our guy love, that's all it is
Guy love he's mine I'm his
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes.
Turk: You ask me 'bout this thing we share...
JD: ...and he tenderly replies.
Turk: It's guy love...
JD & Turk: ...between two guys.
Turk: We're closer than the average man and wife.
JD: That's why our matching bracelets say Turk and J.D.
Turk: You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life...
JD: You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!
Turk: Whoa whoa! I just took out his appendix.
JD: There's no need, to clarify...
Turk: Oh no?
JD: Just let it grow more and more each day.
It's like I've married my best friend...
Turk: But in a totally manly way!
JD & Turk: Let's go!
It's guy love, don't compromise,
The feeling of some other guy.
Holding up your heart into the sky.
JD: I'll be there to care through all the lows.
Turk: I'll be there to share the highs.
JD & Turk: It's guy love, between two guys.
JD: And when I say, "I love you, Turk,"
It's not what it implies.
JD & Turk: It's guy love
Between...
Two...
Guys.
[Beat]
JD: No hands.
JD & Turk, Scrubs

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