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"As a rule, people in movies haven't ever seen a movie. They're not equipped to deal with anything strange."
"I don’t want to be teamed up with Dax if I ever get stranded in a horror film. 'As long as we can maintain contact, it should be reasonably safe to split up and see if any of us can find a way out of here.' Pfft."
"The good guys wouldn't have been surprised by Darth Vader winning if they'd known from the outset they were in a movie called The Empire Strikes Back."
"I love how nobody on the wrestling program actually watches the wrestling program."
"I don't know where we'd be without Delacroix. This whole ship is falling apart and she's the only one who knows what from what. I saw her arguing with that creep Anatoly Koretzkin or whatever his name is, and she was giving it to him but good. But that freak job stares her straight in the eye and starts babbling about how she doesn't 'know the pleasure of the joyful unity' or some such. Mama mia, the clowns are running the circus."
—Constance Sanger, System Shock
Seven of Nine: A wormhole?
Harry: The wormhole. It leads all the way back to Earth!
Seven: The odds of finding such a phenomenon are infinitesimal.
Janeway: Never bet against the house.
—Star Trek: Voyager, "Bliss"
Gwen: "Rule number one of horror movies: never go off alone. Rule number two: if you do go off alone, don't go in the woods. Rule number three: if you do go in the woods, don't make out in the woods! ... Where are Izzy and Owen?"
Duncan: "Breaking rules one through three."
—Total Drama Island, "Hook, Line, and Screamer"
"Did you guys ever actually watch the show?!"
— Guy, Galaxy Quest
"This is something that nobody has ever heard about or seen before."
— Ben, Night of the Living Dead (1990 movie)
"Most of us know what we should expect to find in a dragon’s lair, but, as I said before, Eustace had read only the wrong books. They had a lot to say about exports and imports and governments and drains, but they were weak on dragons."
"Right off the top you know who the villain is, because of his scary shiny glasses, and, like all transparent villains, he is contractually dumb. Why one would send a morally inflexible and preternaturally strong man on a mission when one has two perfectly competent officers who are already bent is far beyond me. For reasons of villainy, I guess. And I bet he never even bothered to watch the show."
— Spacey, ''Pity for the Fool", a review of The A-Team: War Stories:B.A.
"Good morning! I'm looking for a job."
"The only one left is in an abandoned hotel built on a graveyard, where a madman slaughtered his family and left their bodies in the bathtub."
— Italian comedian Marco Bazzoni as his character "Baz" note pretty much sums up this trope with a farcical re-enacting of The Shining.
“There’s something wrong with this house,” says the serenely beautiful Rachel Weisz’s yummy mummy, Libby. No shit, Sherlock! Most of us have seen enough creepy movies to pack our bags and race to a motel the minute the youngest child discovers a secret room or sees a scary face at the window. But nobody in the movies ever seems to have seen a movie, so they don’t know how to behave.
"Yes, when it's Hallerwern night and there's an insane paintin' runnin' around, there's no safer place for a pretty young thing like me than in the shower. My good man, would ya please pass the Port Plus?"
— Coach Z, Homestar Runner, "Jibblies 2"
Malcolm: This is like the beginning of every horror movie I've ever seen.
Reese: I think we should all split up.
— Malcolm in the Middle, "Carnival"
Harmon Rabb: "There's a lot of things you're blind to. But you don't realize it until it's too late."
— JAG, "Déjà Vu"
Walking around the aisles of shelves and racks in the Haunted Wine Cellar, you find yourself thinking about how great electric light is, and how terrible it would be if you were stuck in total darkness in the basement of the spookiest house in the Kingdom.
You might also think that, as an adventurer, you would know better than to have thoughts like that.
— Kingdom of Loathing, "Lights Out in the Wine Cellar"
"Ye'd best start believin' in ghost stories, Miss Turner... you're in one."
—Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl