Quotes / Futurama S 1 E 9 "Hell Is Other Robots"

Robot Devil: We know all your sins, Bender! And for each one we've prepared an agonizing and ironic punishment! [turns his head] Gentlemen...
["Robot Hell" song begins playing]
Bender: Ah, crap! Singing! Mind if I smoke?
[the Robot Devil snatches the cigar from Bender]

Robot Devil: [sings] Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em!
We'll find way to simulate that smell.
What a sorry fella,
Rolled up and smoked like a Panatella,
Here on Level One of Robot Hell.

Gambling's wrong and so is cheating;
So is forging phony IOU's.
Let's let Lady Luck decide
What type of torture's justified.
I'm pit boss here on Level Two!

[speaks] Oooh, deep-fried robot!

Bender: [sings] Just tell me why...
Robot Devil: Please read this 55-page warrant.
Bender: [sings] There must be robots worse than I...
Robot Devil: [sings] We've checked around, there really aren't.
Bender: [sings] Then please let me explain:
My crimes were merely boyish pranks.
Robot Devil: You stole from Boy Scouts, nuns and banks!
Bender: Ah, don't blame me, blame my upbringing!
Robot Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!

[sings] Selling bootleg tapes is wrong!
Musicians need that income to survive.
Beastie Boys: [rapping] Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise
With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys!
[Ad-Rock scratches Bender's hard drive]
Beastie Boys: That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on Level Five!

Fry: [sings] I don't feel well.
Leela: [sings] It's up to us to rescue him.
Fry: [sings] Maybe he likes it here in Hell.
Leela: [sings] It's us who tempted him to sin.
Fry: [sings] Maybe he's back at the motel.
Leela: [sings] Come on, Fry, don't be scared.
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared.
So just sit back and enjoy the ride!
Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide!

Robot Devil: [sings] Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights,
Publishing indecent magazines.
You'll pay for every crime,
Knee-deep in electric slime.
You'll suffer 'til the end of time,
Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme,
Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!
[song finishes]
Robot Devil: [speaks] Of course, that's just for starters.