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Quotes: Dull Surprise
"I also like how Cloud reacts to the fact that his nemesis that he thought he'd killed in the climax of the game is finally back to life."
*raises eyebrows*
"That's pretty much the extent of most of the emotions in this movie."

Neo: Whoa.

Mal: Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Doctor.
Simon: This isn't fear. This is anger.
Mal: Well, kind of hard to tell one from t'other, face like yours.
Simon: Well, I imagine if it were fear my eyes would be wider.

Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen
Janis Ian At Seventeen

"Okay, here's the problem with Bella Swan - she's boring. And it's not Christine [sic] Stewart's fault, this isn't a product of bad acting. This is a product of a phenomena I like to call "Nullodrama". It's the opposite of melodrama. Remember the good old days of film when acting was way over-the-top at all times? Okay, it was pretty annoying, but our modern reversal of it is even more annoying. We have invented a style of acting where every emotion is underplayed, under-expressed and so nuanced that it defies you to even detect its presence. Bella Swan's emotions consist of bland, dull, boring and blasé. Her character is so nullodramatic that I can hardly believe that M. Night Shyamalan didn't direct this movie."

"Can someone please tell me what emotion Batman is expressing with that line? Confusion? Irony? Sadness? Anger? Acceptance? Disgust? Surprise? Anticipation? Contempt? Awe? Disappointment? Shame? Sympathy? Rage?! Oh, wait, that's me. Agony? Frustration? Apathy? It's apathy, isn't it? (sighs) OK, you don't care, Batman, so we don't either."
Linkara on the "Bees. My God." quote from Amazons Attack

Claudia: We have a tragedy here.
Chick: (in the same dull voice) I flunked acting.

"Horrible black magic stuff happens to what are either the most unflappable, or possibly just the most stoned, people on earth."
"...we'll skip to the part when two villagers run in, and react exactly the way one would expect after stumbling on a disembodied head eating an unborn baby out of a dying woman's vagina."

"Anij wonders why somebody would want to make a copy of the village. Well, she's not really wondering. You can only call it 'wondering' when the actress uses a tone of voice that doesn't suggest an accidental NyQuil overdose prior to shooting. Good lord, woman, perk it up a bit! Drink some coffee or something!"

"You're not acting hard enough!"
—Melllvar from Futurama, "Where No Fan Has Gone Before"

"A camouflage sports car with a tank-like turret flies over a hill on a San Francisco street. As the car soars through the air in slow motion, there’s an insert shot of Bill Cosby in the driver’s seat. Cosby, I should note, is looking very bored. Get used to this. In fact, most of this movie could be summarized as 'Cut to Bill Cosby, looking bored.' I’d say he was phoning it in, but that’s something of an overstatement. It’s more like he’s smoke-signaling it in."

General Plotdevice: So wait, are you ALL mutants? What about January Jones?
Kevin Bacon: Her too. Her ability is to suck all life out of any line of dialogue.
January Jones: also i read minds and turn to diamond
Kevin Bacon: And let's not forget your power to make sexy lingerie look strangely bland.

If Paz de la Huerta had even a smidgeon of acting ability (or used it if she has; I've never seen her in anything else) Nurse 3 D probably wouldn't work at all. It's basically a mix of American Mary and Single White Female, with the title character going around killing every man in the vicinity like the former and becoming dangerously obsessed with a female pal like the latter. On paper, that sounds like a recipe for a perfectly rote slasher/thriller that you'd forget about within moments of the film's conclusion, but since even merely saying a character's name proves to be an insurmountable task for Paz, it takes on this bizarre, nearly alien tone that, intentionally or not, turns the film into a trashy comic delight.

In the comments of the previous strip, I said, “In hindsight, the ideal thing would have been to cast Aragorn as a dumb, distracted stoner. He spends about half of the movie blinking very, very slowly. I can come up with a shot of him looking baked or mouth-open stoopid in just about any scene. I should make a “I am so high” montage out of all these shots.“

The amount of screen time he spends in a vacant stare or a prolonged blink is sort of alarming. I’ve come to think of him as Stareagorn.

...Aiden and his sister both look at the grave of the child that is his sole motivation the way they'd look at a middling-difficult Sudoku puzzle...

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