Quotes / Cash Cow Franchise

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
— Traditional American proverb

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    Live-Action TV 

"This industry's "in flux"
It's run by mucky-mucks!
Pitchin' tents for tent poles
And chasin' Chinese bucks!"
Jack Black, 87th Academy Awards (shortly before Anna Kendrick hurls a shoe at him)

    Web Animation 

"Sometimes I think the ideal games industry for these people would be one without any players at all—where they can just shake a jarful of coins in front of a row of applauding monkeys and then go home with all the bananas."

    Web Original 

"Film threatens to become a nearly self-sustaining medium, imbued with enough depth and concepts to simply retread existing ground over and over again. Narrative without people. Having killed the author, we've now killed the audience."

"Hell, I'd even go see Tyler Perry's Madea Meets the Muppets, if only to keep myself guessing which of the gang ends up coming to Jesus — Beaker, obviously."

"There is something relentlessly cynical about Jurassic World. The film is based around attempts at Ingen to build a designer dinosaur, one assembled from random bits of other dinosaurs. Nobody except the geneticists seem to know exactly what’s in it, but it doesn’t matter. It’s bits and pieces of what everybody’s seen before, and they’ll love it, right? The fact that Jurassic World basks in this meta-commentary hints at a sly subversive streak, but the film seems more smug than sophisticated."

"I’m no casting director, but it’s pretty obvious who should play the rest of the characters from Beauty and the Beast. Khloe Kardashian IS the Beast. The Hammaconda IS Gaston. Rihanna IS that slutty feather duster and Leo DiCaprio IS the horny feather duster-humping Lumière. Justin Bieber IS Mrs. Potts’ annoying teacup son Chip who we all hope “accidentally” gets put in a box marked FREE and thrown on the curb (seriously, Chip is THE WORST).

And it goes without saying that Angela Lansbury better be cast as Mrs. Potts, or so help me god, I will only see this movie 26 times."
DListed, "Emma Watson Will Play Belle"

"As movies with budgets you could dive into like Scrooge McDuck follow their trend of venturing no further than the preamble, Star Trek Into Darkness was certainly a thing that I saw; a thing of no consequence."

"To be honest, I don't know how any Final Fantasy nostalgia still survives. Every seven seconds, Square Enix takes an existing game, adds characters with ridiculous haircuts, puts its name on it, and leaves it a little bit worse. The Final Fantasy brand is the "Guy Fieri Ate Here" sticker of software."

"The stories aren't about truth and justice, they're set inside Superman the symbol, the trademark, the brand. We are meant to feel truth and justice through association with the brand, not through the characterization and dramatization of truth and justice here and now."
Marc Pritchard on Bryan Q. Miller's Smallville: Season 11'' — Chapter #28

"The fact that DiDio has referred to Watchmen prequels as being their attempt at being bold and creative shows that he doesn’t really have much of a concept of what creativity actually is."

    Web Video 

"Titanic 3D: 3D so real you can actually feel James Cameron stealing money from your pocket."

"Experience the massive success that Marvel turned into a formula for printing money."

"Just Dance: Greatest Hits, or as it should be called, Just Dance: GIMME ALL YO MONEH!"

Deadpool: If we can find him, we can end this.
Spider-Man: Wait, why do we want to end this again?
Deadpool: Yeah you're right! This franchise could pay off the national debt!

Jay: What if they just stop making movies? And they just have posters, and everyone pays to get into the theater, and plays on their phone for an hour and half? And then you have credits roll....and that's how people know to leave the theater.
Mike: Hollywood accountants love this idea.
Half in the Bag on the Summer 2014 movie season

"The Hollywood machine facing a writer's strike?

God they settled before Revenge of the Fallen made over $800 million without a script, because if so, screenwriter contracts would require them to carry around studio executives on their backs."

    Western Animation 

Kirk: Captain's Log, Stardate 6051. Had trouble sleeping last night, my hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain, but nobody listens.
Announcer: Star Trek XII: So Very, Very Tired.
The Simpsons, "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"

    Real Life 

"We were wild-eyed fanatics to rival the loopiest thugee cultist or member of the Manson family. We were True Believers."
Alan Moore on growing up a Marvel fan