23rd Oct: It's time for the second TV Tropes Halloween Avatar Contest, theme: cute monsters! Details and voting here.
"Bond saw luck as a woman, to be softly wooed or brutally ravaged, never pandered to or pursued. But he was honest enough to admit that he had never yet been made to suffer by cards or by women. One day, and he accepted the fact, he would be brought to his knees by love or by luck. When that happened he knew that he too would be branded with the deadly question-mark he recognized so often in others..."
"Brett [Ratner], you talked yourself into a spot at NYU despite being a C-student. And then you somehow convinced enough people to give you enough money to film Chris Tucker screaming and Jackie Chan punching for ninety minutes—three times—and you somehow made over $800 million at the box office doing it. You then somehow convinced Eddie Murphy to make movies again, and then somehow got hired to produce the Academy Awards, and then somehow convinced Eddie Murphy to host them. You ruined the X-Men franchise and insulted Olivia Munn and an army of nerds didn't murder you for it.
Don't. Touch. Anything."
Here, we attempt to classify and categorize the various methods used in unsuccessful attempts on the life of seemingly unkillable shrieking machine, Jimmy Savile. He could have been our JFK, if he wasn’t so damned wiley.
"At one party, I narrowly escaped being knifed, with a breadknife as it happens."
"First, I nearly got shot."
"My first terror was being set on by three Dobermann dogs on only the second day, but saved by my heavy plastic overgear."
"The noble shire beast reared up on its back legs and uttered a shrill cry of fear. The Mayor promptly applied the brakes and near dislocated my two arms and neck simultaneously."
"Apparently he feared that it was some sort of preliminary Kung Fu attack for, with a hoarse shout, he stepped back and drew from a Sam Browne holster a hand gun – hay, cannon – with a bore on it like the exhaust of my Rolls Royce."
I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. ELEPHANT HUNTERS? STEAMPUNK NINJAS?'''
—Stuart Millard on Jimmy Savile's Love is an Uphill Thing (memoir)