Improbable Weapon User / Comic Books

• King of the Comics' improbable weapon users is Bullseye from Daredevil. Starting from probable to improbable, billy clubs, javelins, sais, shuriken, broken glass shards, rocks, flashlights, dolls, apples, gumballs, teeth, toothpicks, playing cards, seaweed, and to top it off.... A paper airplane knocked someone out. As he said to Elektra, "You're good, but me? I'm magic!" To quote one of his funniest uses of this abilities to date in the mainstream universe; "So which eye, left or right?" "Which one is harder?" "From the distance, with the wind factor, using a yap dog? Left eye." And lo, the yap dog did indeed hit the left eye, yapping the entire time in flight.
  Bullseye: They have me on stool softeners and liquid food because they're afraid that if I have a solid bowel movement I'd kill someone with it. And I would, too.
• X-Men:
  • Colossus has been known to use the Fastball Special, which is throwing a most unusual thrown weapon: Wolverine. He's not the only strongman in Marvel to have a teammate who occasionally acts as a thrown weapon.
  • Gambit has the ability to imbue inanimate objects he touches with kinetic energy; this not only makes these objects into bombs but also allows them to be propelled like missiles. He has a preference for playing cards but has alternatively used small change, his staff (which is at times Adamantium and thus isn't completely destroyed), poker chips, sand, credit cards, billiard balls, a bus, and in a particularly vicious example, someone's moustache.
    • Ultimate Gambit uses this trope to his advantage in his first appearance (whether intentionally or not) to such an extent that his foe assumes that Gambit is powerless when not using his "trick cards". He is quite wrong.
    • The best example is Gambit charging the metal in Wolverine's skull.
    • Spitting his gum into the X-cutioner's face is pretty good too.
    • The Gambit in Age of Apocalypse kills Wolverine (not "our" Wolverine) by sticking a large rock down his pants, charging it, and then pushing him off a cliff. Boom.
    • "Don't make me throw this pancake at you!"
  • In his run of X-Factor (1991), Peter David introduced Professor Rick Chalker, who surgically transformed himself into Number One Fan by having his hands replaced with giant, razor-sharp fan blades. Ironically not the sharpest tool in the drawer, he realized too late that he was trapped in his impenetrable lab by his lack of hands, and out of frustration, slapped himself in the forehead (with gruesome results). He was brought back to life along with his relatives Vic (who electrocuted himself while testing his super exoskeleton in the rain) and Dick, but their collective ineptitude quickly killed them for good.
• Hawkeye in The Ultimates uses straightened paper clips, to say nothing of the time he murders several men by flicking his fingernails at them.
• Batman:
  • Among villains, the Joker has killed with acid-squirting flowers, super-juiced joybuzzers, BANG Flag Guns where the flag is also a deadly spear, and many others.
  • The Penguin's trick umbrellas, anyone?
  • Hush was a standard gunslinger in his original appearance, but turned evil doctor in a couple later, throwing scalpels, syringes, and having Catwoman in an iron lung.
• Watchmen: Rorschach is perfectly capable of using virtually anything that comes to hand as a weapon, including a handful of pepper, an aerosol spray can (with the help of a lighter), a shot glass, a toilet, his scarf, and a fryer full of hot cooking fat. These unanticipated (and often lethal) uses of everyday objects make him one of The Dreaded among cops and crooks alike.
• New Warriors: Night Thrasher frequently used a bulletproof skateboard as a weapon in his early days. It even had a "snikt" retractable blade!
• The Action Girl version of Rapunzel from Rapunzel's Revenge ties her long hair into long braids and uses them as whips and lassos.
• Blade's Wordsword. Instead of using spell books how they were intended, Blade tore out their pages and paper mached himself a sword out of them. In his own words: "Great against demons, not so great in the rain." Though it's somewhat understandable, the last time he tried to cast a spell he got possessed.
• CrossGen comics had a few of these. "Now, give me what I want or I'll show you what else I can do with furniture."
• Most Silver Age super villains had a theme centered around an improbable weapon or odd piece of technology.
• Spider-Man:
  • Spider-Man's webshooters aren't typically thought of as weapons, but just wait until he wraps you up in a coccoon of webbing. Or snags you with one end of a webline and yanks really hard. Or hits you with another heavy object or person he's snagged with a webline. Or knocks you unconscious with a high-velocity glob of webbing. Or catches you as you plummet from the George Washington Bridge! Wait... OH GOD!
  • The Green Goblin and his successors are known to use plastic ghosts alongside their other weapons. Also, his signature pumpkins, which explode.
  • The villain Typeface is a signsmith who uses big letters as weapons.
  • Boomerang is a former baseball pitcher who has skills similar to Bullseye's (to a much lesser degree, of course) and can potentially turn anything he can throw into a weapon. This is sort of a subversion, however, because as his name suggests, he usually uses boomerangs, which are real weapons. (However, in the Deadly Foes of Spider-Man mini-series, he makes good of this ability in two attempts — one failed, and one successful — to escape from jail, using things like a watch, a stapler, and even coins as thrown weapons.)
• The protagonist of Brazilian comic Monica's Gang beats up everyone with her plush bunny.
• The Simping Detective: Jack Point has all sorts of clown toys rigged as weapons. Examples include an explosive red nose, a whoopee cushion landmine, a spray flower that sprays acid and clown shoes with knives inside them.
• According to his twitter Johnny the Homicidal Maniac has killed someone with a cheeto.
  • He killed everyone in a taco restaurant- with a spork.
  • Salad tongs, flaming corn dog stick, raw potato, boiled potato, a Bolt candy dispenser, a packet of ramen noodles, Mexican candy, most recently a walrus... Hell, the man once stabbed someone with hot mashed potatoes. Yes, he took a bow for it.
• One The Far Side comic featured the Dobie-O-Matic, a weapon that launched dobermans.
• The Silver Surfer's surfboard has a tendency to be used in this manner.
• Asterix: Obelix has been known to use a menhir as a weapon.
• Peanuts:
  • In one strip, Peppermint Patty hires Snoopy to be a watchdog, and Charlie Brown suggests he bring a weapon; Snoopy says, "That's a good idea. I'll bring the most dangerous weapon known to man!" He brings a hockey stick. (When he gets to her house, she tells him to get rid of it, saying, "I could get mugged while you're in the penalty box!")
  • Also, Linus has been shown using his Security Blanket as a bullwhip, with enough strength to knock people out and enough accuracy to hit a tossed coin. There's a good reason nobody laughs at him for that blanket...
• Elvis Shrugged: For the big fight scene in the Reactor Room, Stephen Sondheim produces a switchblade while Andrew Lloyd Webber grabs a Garden Weasel.
  Sondheim: You're going to Garden Weasel me to death?
• One infamous villain of the Crossed series got the nickname "Horsecock" for a certain severed farm animal's appendage that he uses to beat his opponents to death with.
• Casey Jones from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Mirage) does the vigilante thing carrying a golf bag full of random sporting equipment like baseball bats and his trademark hockey stick.
• Chew:
  • Vampire uses kitchen knives. Knives are pretty common weapons, but using a butter knife to slice someone's arm off isn't. Then he decides to use a more formidable weapon and bisects a person with a pizza cutter. On top of that he uses chopsticks as throwing weapons. A lot of them.
  • Main character's daughter is an interesting example. She uses guns and swords... that she makes out of chocolate. She has ability to sculpt chocolate with such accuracy, that the chocolate carving has all properties of the real object. Once she used it to defeat armed terrorists with contents of a vending machine. Later she gained ability to sculpt jello in a similar fashion and carve tortilla into sharp objects.
  • Main character gained skills of the several baseball players, after he was forced to eat their remains. After that he used baseball as a throwing weapon on two separate occasions, both times successful.
  • This series focuses on food, so it naturally has tons of food-related weapons. There are original users of abovemetioned chocolate and jello sculpting abilities, but there also people who use noodles, giant bottles of champagne, exploding nuclear clams, tanks made out of bubble gum, golems made out of mashed potatoes - the list goes on.
• In a comic strip example, What's New? with Phil and Dixie ran an issue dedicated to espionage games, including one spy being quizzed on the lethality and special features of various spy gear. One of the items, which he claimed was capable of killing several people simultaneously, was a rubber duck.
• MAD weaponized trombones (also a staple of slapstick), clash cymbals ("alas, his nose got in the way")...and a triangle.
• Wonder Woman:
  • Wonder Woman (1942): There are plants growing in the sea off the shore of Paradise Island that shed a paralytic when out of the water. These are used as non-lethal weapons on a few occasions, once by Sharkeeta when she went to capture Hippolyte.
  • In The Legend of Wonder Woman (2016), there is a plant grown on Paradise Island with red leaves that can be used to defend against merfolk, whose skin reacts to the leaves.
• The Incredible Hulk sometimes uses various heavy objects as weapons, like swinging a large tree or a construction girder as a club or tearing a car in half and using it as boxing gloves.

---