The Quarters series plays this trope totally straight. Interestingly, though, it also draws attention to the trope by referring to many minor or background characters by their occupation — "two guards", "a secretary" — a few lines before the gendered pronoun is used. The reader then realizes that the guard or secretary to which s/he had unthinkingly assigned the "conventional" gender is, in fact, just the opposite. It is worth noting that in this series, sexual orientation is no object either; even royal weddings can be same-sex.
The main character of the Confederation of Valor series is a female Space Marine Gunnery Sergeant. More generally, the Confederate armed forces have more men than women, but this seems to be a simple case of men being more likely to sign up.
The Circleverse, although told mostly from the point-of-view of female characters, features more-or-less gender parity within the religion, the army, and society at large. Some cultures have more restrictive views of the roles of women, but the viewpoint characters visiting said cultures always point this out.
Tortall Universe: The Beka Cooper trilogy approaches this (although lady knights are still uncommon and there's plenty of comments about female dogs), but a religious movement called the Cult of the Gentle Mother is sweeping through and starting to influence things, much to the wrath of the protagonist. From later-set books, we know that it does take over and become the norm for later protagonists to struggle against.
Works:
Alexis Carew: This is true in most countries and in New London's core worlds: there are more men than women in the military but this is mostly down to physical strength (aircraft pilots are split nearly evenly, whereas Mini-Mecha crewmen have to be able to service their machines under fire). However, many planets on New London's fringe have slid backward into patriarchy and sexism is more common.
Angel Mage: Gender discrimination doesn't seem to exist in this world. In fact, most positions of authority are held by women, with all Cardinals seen or mentioned being female. It's also mentioned that Kings of Sarance are by tradition expected to scheme ineffectually against the Queens (the real rulers).
In Animorphs allegedly there are as many female and male soldiers among the Andalites, but one sees almost only male ones.
But it's playing with the Hork-Bajirs right now. The Yeerks use them regardless of gender because both genders are strong.
Even when the Auxilary-Animorphs are created, gender does not matter in the selection of the original Animorphs.
A few places in the setting of Annals of the Western Shore. Gender seems to influence the division of labor, but they lack the sexism seen elsewhere. Namely the Uplands (the setting of the first book) where women can be clan leaders, and Ansul, where women used to have pretty good rights until the Alds took over.
The United Space Forces in Arrivals from the Dark appear to accept both genders equally. However, female officers are contract-bound to avoid pregnancies for the 5-year term. On the other hand, every book features a man as the main character.
The island kingdom of Ithicana from The Bridge Kingdom Archives is so threatened by its neighbours that everyone needs to take part in its defense. Women train and fight alongside men and among Watch Commanders the number of men and women is roughly equal.
In The Broken Earth Trilogy; both men and women are allowed to have any job in their comms, from physical laborers to soldiers, generals and leaders of empires, and there's no discrimination or distinction between them made. Schools, military units, and bathrooms are gender-integrated. Trans characters show up and are generally socially accepted (however, with regards to Binof/Tonkee, the wealthy elite of Yumenes are shown to disown children whose gender disrupts plans for arranged marriages).
The Imperial States of America in Caliphate deploys female soldiers in the field and no one in their side bats an eyelash about this, unlike the titular Caliphate which is a virulently misogynistic place that expects women to be only wives, daughters, mothers or sex objects. The main hero (an American soldier) discusses this with a slave girl from the Caliphate that back in his home, despite its many, many faults, at least women enjoy the same rights as men which floors her since she would never dream of such thing in the place she grew up.
The Celaeno Series by Jane Fletcher. In Rangers At Roadsend, the protagonists are two female Rangers, members of a kind of elite unit in the military.
The Culture takes this trope up to eleven. Not only have they left gender roles far behind, but part of their standard set of genetic enchantments is also the ability to go through a fully functional sex change (over the course of several months) at will. The protagonist of The Player of Games is considered a bit odd because he's never even tried being female.
In Western nations in Dark Shores women work, fight, rule and are generally treated as equal to men — empress Ereni is a ruler and a warrior, and the most accomplished general in Gamdeshi army is the sultan's daughter. Subverted in the East, where women are treated as property of their men (fathers, brothers, husbands).
Dwarfs, initially. It turns out to be more complicated than that later on; biological sex seems to be genuinely inconsequential except for procreative purposes, but traditional dwarf culture has no concept of femininity and both sexes look like men, so they're basically a One-Gender Race of men that just happens to have two different kinds of genitals. Traditionally, anyways. Midway through the series (beginning with Feet of Clay), some more modern female dwarfs begin to admit to being female and adopt human-style feminine behavior, which is controversial but increasingly popular. Whether this correlates with their biological sex depends on the dwarf; a female dwarf in Unseen Academicals is heavily implied to be biologically male.
The desert-dwelling, combat-loving tribe of the D'Regs count as well.
Carrot: Klatchians have very strict ideas about women fighting. D'Reg: Yes, we expect them to be good at it! We are D'Regs!
In Steven Brust's Dragaera series, the culture of the Dragaerans is like this, with women being just as likely to be pugnacious brawlers as the men. There is some slight amount of gender bias that occasionally pops up, such as when two female Dragaeran warriors ponder whether a male Dragaeran could possibly be attracted to a woman who could defeat him in a fight, but they eventually decide that it wouldn't matter. On the other hand, the human Easterners, who are based on real-world medieval Hungarians, tend to have a more real-world bias on gender roles.
Dragonvarld: The monarchy of Seth is inherited by the eldest child, whether female or male.
The Cro-Magnon don't really care what gender does what in most parts of their life. A woman can hunt and a man can take care of the kids. The role of Shamans, however, is apparently often restricted to those we might now call genderqueer (as is common in manyReal Life cultures).
Averted with the Neanderthals, in whom gender roles are so rigidly defined that they have become part of their genetic make-up. Thus men cannot learn women's skills such as cooking and gathering plants, while women cannot learn men's skills such as hunting. In addition, only men can become leaders or Shamen, but only women can learn the use of healing plants.
The Forever War is similar to Starship Troopers, but features a fully gender-integrated military... which before the end of the war is also fully homosexual as Earth society has moved on about a thousand years, literally.
The Gentleman Bastard sequence, there are female pirates, thieves, soldiers, sailors, and bouncers in about equal number to their male counterparts. This is never remarked on as being out of the ordinary. In fact, within their culture, rather than women being banned from sailing for fear of bringing bad luck, ships are required to have at least one woman on board, to avoid bringing the wrath of the sea god (though a female cat will do at a pinch).
This is the case in all levels of society in The Great Library. Women serve as soldiers, scholars, spies, merchants, and any other occupations just as easily as men do, and gender is never brought up as being an issue.
Ravka allows both genders to serve in both the First and Second Armies, the criminal gangs of Ketterdam are decently gender-balanced, and the Zemeni and Shu also seem to be fairly egalitarian. However, Ravka’s Priestguard still doesn’t accept women, and the Fjerdans retain a very Stay in the Kitchen attitude where women are expected to marry young, serve their husbands, and nothing else, and Fjerdan women have only recently been allowed in the military, in non-combat roles only. Given this is Fjerda, it’s not surprising.
In Harry Potter, women and men both serve in pretty much all positions of the Ministry of Magic, are Aurors (the wizarding equivalent of police officers), are teachers and heads of Hogwarts, and run their own businesses. Both genders also balance family lives (taking care of the home, dealing with the kids, etc.) and having careers and lives of their own. Not to mention Quidditch is a unisex sport.
In the Honor Harrington series, this is pretty much the default for the major interstellar polities. In the story, the reactions to integration by Grayson and Masada (both worlds being effectively religious patriarchies, with the latter treating women as nothing but property) often play a major role in the plot. Certain biological differences are still addressed, such as requiring all women in the service to be fitted with a 5-year contraceptive implant. If a woman decides to have a child, she may petition to have the implant deactivated but will be transferred to a Space Station or a planet-side post. As the novel states, it may not be fair, but neither is biology. Then again, the Manticoran Navy does cover up to 75% cost of "tubing" a baby (i.e. putting the fetus into a tube to be grown to term), so a pregnant woman doesn't have to be "out-of-commission" for the full 9 months. The medical technology is so good that tubing is considered an outpatient procedure (i.e. no overnight hospital stay). At the same time, Honor's mother laments that many women are missing out on the "experience" of giving birth. Meanwhile, the other women think that she's insane for suggesting that.
The Hunger Games: District Thirteen in Mockingjay seems to be this, particularly when it comes to their military. For that matter, the actual Hunger Games are deliberately set up with an equal number of boys and girls, and the audience makes bets on the contestants according to their skill and temperament, not their gender.
In the Imperial Radch trilogy, the Galactic Superpower of the Radch doesn't even have a societal concept of gender; since the viewpoint character is Radchaai, most characters are never explicitly gendered or sexed. One Radchaai character is outright confused at how another culture seems so fixated on which genitalia people have.
In Inheritance Cycle, there is almost no societal difference between male and female elves. They're both equally good at fighting, magic, what-have-you. They even dress the same and have the same hairstyles; when Arya disguises herself as a human woman, she admits she's always been a bit puzzled at the notion of women's clothing, and of men and women having different societal roles. The other three major races seem to abide by the concept that women stick to domestic work, with a minority of women in positions of power and almost none in combat. It is said that Urgal women, like men, gain station by defeating foes, but we don't see any Urgal women until the very end of the series.
In Island in the Sea of Time and its sequels, the Republic of Nantucket's military allows both men and women to serve in combat roles. It also allows gays and lesbians to serve openly.
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin takes the basic idea so far it almost becomes disqualified as an example, as the human-descended people on the planet Gethen are all of both sexes (or neither); they take turns becoming "male" or "female" for reproduction. The human-as-we-know-it protagonist is really confused by this even after years of living there as an ambassador of sorts.
The titular city-state in the Liavek anthologies is very egalitarian gender-wise, including the military.
In The Lost Fleet, set far in humanity's future, both the Alliance and Syndic militaries and civilian governments appear to be completely gender-equal. Women are found at the same rate as men at every level of command from Alliance Senator on the Grand Council down to the average crew member on a warship.
In the Lyremouth Chronicles, the average witch, wizard or, heaven forbid, sorcerer, is infinitely more powerful than the average muggle, and the chances of their appearance are completely random. When mistreating someone based on their gender as a child can lead to getting a fireball to the face as an adult, gender differences quickly fall to the wayside, and almost all jobs have an equal number of both genders in all roles. Averted outside the Protectorate where most of the action takes place, however; while inside it, new Witches and Sorcerers are protected by their kind, outside, they're mostly seen as a threat and eliminated as quickly as possible, leading to much more patriarchal or matriarchal societies (based on how much the different genders have been tinkered with by the local sorcerers).
In the Malazan Book of the Fallen, most of the cultures are largely equal-opportunity when it comes to daily life and war, especially the dominant Malazan Empire which considers itself egalitarian in all aspects. Two noted exceptions are the Tiste Edur tribes where the women rule the house and the men are warriors and the mercenary/holy order known as the Grey Swords, who are noted as unusual for not allowing women into their ranks. That also changes when they switch patron deities from the Boar of Summer to the Wolves of Winter and take in female recruits to supplement their torn ranks.
Troll society in Malediction Trilogy works like that. What matters is a troll's level of magical power. Female trolls become warriors and mixed-blood work in mines alongside men.
Mistborn: The Original Trilogy has a partial example: While Muggle armies are still entirely male, Allomancers are rare enough that no noble house can afford to enforce gender stereotypes, and so male and female Allomancers are treated pretty much equally.
The Mortal Instruments shows a whole series of female shadowhunters. They also have their share in the fight against demons and other evil creatures.
Even with the fairies, it is common for both men and women to fight.
When a clan battles with vampires or werewolves, then both genders join in the fight.
Mynaria uses female guards, without indicating it's at all uncommon, among commoner women anyway. Noblewomen seem expected to stay in more feminine roles, with Mare (a princess) rebelling against this, to her family's despair.
Zumorda also has this, from soldiers right up to the queen and other government officials right under her being women.
The Old Kingdom has no barriers to gender equality whatsoever. This is in sharp contrast with its non-magical neighbour to the south, Ancelstierre, which is a Fantasy Counterpart Culture of early 20th-century Britain.
The Colonial Defense Force from the Old Man's War series is mixed-gender, with males and females getting the same assignments. Justified in that every member of the CDF is issued a genetically-engineered body, with identical physical capabilities regardless of gender. (And since the genetic engineering leaves them all sterile, female soldiers never get sidelined by maternity leave.)
In Percy Jackson and the Olympians and all his spinoffs and sequels, boys and girls fight side by side against monsters. Both genders can earn the respect of their comrades in combat, and there are about the same number of fatalities in combat for both genders.
In David Drake's RCN series, despite the 18th and 19th century-style culture of the Republic of Cinnabar, the presence of women in combat roles is entirely unremarked upon. In the series, two of the deadliest characters in armed combat are Adele Mundy and her "maid" Tovera, the biggest and toughest crewmember is a woman, Mistress Sand is in charge of the Republic intelligence service, and Leary's official second in command is a woman as well.
Redwall's later books do this. The first book had female combatants on the heroes' side, but no mention of female Mooks at all. Later books introduce more gender equality for both sides.
Reign of the Seven Spellblades: On average, female mages are just as good at both magic and swordplay as male mages, though it depends heavily on the individual: Oliver, Nanao, and Chela are three of the strongest in their year, but not by enough to be decisive (Richard Andrews, Tullio Rossi, and Joseph Albright are very evenly matched with them), while Guy, Pete, and Katie are generally considered also-rans whose talents lie in areas other than combat. In particular, volume 2 explains that while women have a large natural reservoir of mana in their uteri, men have enough smaller reservoirs elsewhere that it tends to even out.
In Seafort Saga by David Feintuch, cadets and middies are treated the same regardless of their gender. This extends to mixed sleeping quarters and bathrooms, with it being said that your mates are like family (so having sex with them is a bad idea).
A Song of Ice and Fire: Aside from their relatively liberal attitudes regarding sex and legitimacy, Dorne practices absolute primogeniture, that is, the eldest child inherits, regardless if they're male or female. There have been many reigning princesses in the history of Dorne, such as the current Prince Doran Martell's mother and immediate predecessor, as well as the one who reigned during the time of the Targaryens' conquest (Princess Meria Martell). The whole Dorne subplot in A Feast for Crows happens because heir apparent Arianne Martell suspects that Doran is sidelining her in favor of younger brother Quentyn in the succession, and plots to get back at him by crowning Myrcella Baratheon as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, as by Dornish law, she precedes her younger brother, Tommen. As it turns out, Doran actually did try to sideline Arianne as Princess of Dorne, because he wants her to become the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms (albeit as the consort of Viserys Targaryen).
Just like in Legends, the various militaries are much more diverse than what is seen in the original and prequel trilogies.
Unlike the old expanded universe, Imperial military service is open to all humans, regardless of gender. One of the most popular new-canon Imperials is Grand Admiral Rae Sloane, a black woman.
Star Wars Legends: The films feature largely male-dominated militaries — some of the Jedi are women, as is Princess Leia, but most women aren't close to combat at all in either trilogy. The Expanded Universe changes this. Admittedly there aren't a lot of non-clone humans in Clone Wars works period, but works set around and after the original trilogy integrate the ranks of the Rebellion / New Republic, and to a lesser extent the Empire. Gender really isn't brought up in the Rebellion / New Republic, but there are women in every position — admirals and generals down to pilots and commandos. In the Empire, women fall into the Non-huMan category, which includes women, cyborgs, nonhumans, and droids, but some of them still claw their way up the ranks. There are more female Imperials than there are nonhuman Imperials. In the New Galactic Empire as well as the Imperial Remnant, gender issues have been almost completely abolished.
Steel Crow Saga: All societal roles, including all levels of military and leadership in the four major nations, are fully integrated, which is never portrayed as at all out of the ordinary. In addition, same-gender marriage is a norm, including among ruling families.
The Tales of the Branion Realm series by Fiona Patton, set in a fantasy Europe where gender roles are unrestricted. The oldest noble heir inherits regardless of sex, and religious posts (in thinly disguised versions of Christianity) are also open to all.
The Atans in The Tamuli are a Proud Warrior Race who seem to have no gender hangups. Anyone who reaches adulthood is expected to be a competent soldier, and their king and queen hold roughly equal status.
Downplayed in Temeraire. While women are allowed to serve in England's Aviator Corps (because for some reason the strategically indispensable Longwings will only accept female captains), this has to be kept a secret from the general populace for most of the series to avoid a public opinion backlash.
The Ten Thousand by Harold Coyle features a fully-integrated 21st century US Army conducting an evacuation through a hostile Germany. In addition to a female President, one of the combat viewpoint characters is a woman commanding a company.
Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold. Everybody but the Barrayarans seem to have a mixed military. The Betans especially seem to have no social differentiation between genders (and hermaphrodites) in their space service or society. Being a neutral world, they tend to sit out on most wars and don't really keep an actual military, but their science/astrocartographers/explorers have military training and fulfill that need as necessary. The Barrayarans' inability to process the idea of women soldiers works against them in the first book, as they not only hesitate to shoot the female protagonist (bad idea), they consistently underestimate her.
Cordelia: The more physical jobs are skewed to the men, of course, but there doesn't seem to be this obsessive status-thing attached to it.
Which, in a culture as technologically advanced and reliant as Beta Colony, makes a lot of sense.
Warrior Cats: the Clan society has almost perfect gender equality, with equal numbers of female leaders and warriors throughout. The only real difference in how they're treated is when a female warrior becomes pregnant: she spends a few months in the nursery to have her kittens.
The Seanchan Empire in The Wheel of Time works this way. There seem to be roughly equal numbers of male and female nobles, soldiers, and military officers, all passing without comment, with the only exceptions being the all-female sul'dam/damane corps (as using magic safely is a Gender-Restricted Ability) and the mostly female raken pilots (as flying on a smaller pterosaur-esque creature requires a smaller stature).
Wings of Fire: On most levels, dragon society is gender-balanced- both males and females serve in the military and have the same career and life options. The one exception is the monarchies, which are matrilineal. Queens rule, and only a daughter, niece, or sister can challenge her for the throne. This actually makes sense, given that, in Real Life reptiles and birds, females are larger and more dominant.
