A bit of meta-humour- this book is so huge that the publisher very nearly / actually did create a new binding system just to get it to print. What's funny about this is that Brandon Sanderson had to split the Grand Finale of The Wheel of Time into 3 books to avoid this very problem; although, since Robert Jordan mused that his final book might have been over 2000 pages and WoR is pushing the limit at "only" 1088, the WoT likely would have been split up anyway.
Even funnier: One of the working titles? The Book of Endless Pages.
Jasnah's response to finding out that Shallan is not studying in her room, but on the deck of the ship they are traveling in, drawing due to her trouble concentrating on her studies, is characteristically snarky, and also hilarious.
Dalinar and Kaladin after the latter is imprisoned for calling Amaram out:
Dalinar: If I ordered you to guard your room for a week, would you have done it? Kaladin: Yes. Dalinar: Then consider this your duty: Guard this room. Kaladin: I'll make sure nobody unauthorized runs off with the chamber pot, sir.
Kaladin and Zahel talking about the former getting trained by the latter. All the while, Renarin is jumping off the overhead balcony and smashing into the ground in his Shardplate, over, and over, and over....
When Shallan approaches the meeting of Highprinces with Gaz in tow, they come across Kaladin blocking the door. Gaz immediately tries to hide, but Kaladin catches him. "Um, Kaladin. You're, ah, an officer? So things have been going well for you..."
In Adolin and Shallan's first date, he starts trying to tell her one of his heroic tales of derring-do...only for her to interrupt and ask how he can go to the bathroom in Plate. Even better, he doesn't notice she's deviated from the script at first, and continues talking about his exploits on the battlefield. What's even more hilarious is that it works.
Adolin: If you must know, an old adage on the battlefield teaches that it's better to be embarrassed than dead. You can't let anything draw your attention from fighting. Shallan: So... Adolin: So yes, I, Adolin Kholin—cousin to the king, heir to the Kholin princedom—have shat myself in my Shardplate. Three times, all on purpose. [beat] Adolin: You are a very strange woman. Shallan: If I must remind you, you are the one who opened our conversation today with a joke about Sebarial's flatulence.
The reveal of where Elkohar got stashed after an assassination attempt on him that nearly succeeded: He's been hiding out with Lopen's Ambiguously Jewish mother in the "Little Herdazia" settlement in the warcamps. Watching the king of all Alethkar get bossed around and fed like a recalcitrant child is hilarious.
Hoid's entire scene with Kaladin, Adolin and Shallan.
Kaladin: You! Wit: Me! Kaladin: What are you doing here? Wit: Trying to find mischief. Have you been practicing with my flute? Kaladin: Uh... Wit: Don't tell me you left it in Sadeas's camp when you moved out. Kaladin: Well— Wit: I said not to tell me. You don't need to, since I already know. A shame. If you knew the history of that flute, it would make your brain flip upside-down. And by that, I mean that I would shove you off the carriage for having spied on me. Kaladin: Uh... Wit: Eloquent today, I see. [lots of important plot-relevant stuff, then the carriage stops and Adolin gets out] Adolin: You! Wit: Me! Ever at your service, Brightlord Kholin. Adolin: What did you do with my usual carriage driver? Wit: Nothing. Adolin: Wit— Wit: What, you're implying that I hurt the poor fellow? Does that sound like me, Adolin? Adolin: Well, no. Wit: Exactly. Besides, I'm certain he's gotten the ropes undone by now. Ah, and there's your lovely almost-but-not-quite bride. Shallan: You! Wit: Yes, yes. People certainly are good at identifying me today. Perhaps I need to wear— [Shallan gives Wit a big hug, rendering him speechless]
Almost every example of protagonists meeting each other is hilarious due to the misunderstandings, but the first meeting of Shallan and Kaladin stands out - she claims to be a Horneater princess and steals his boots.
Shallan: I am offend! Tyn: You have offended the princess!
When Kaladin and Shallan meet later, formally, they end up pissing each other off so much that they launch into a massive insult fight, yelling in each other's faces, in the middle of the king's palace while surrounded by dozens of the Highprinces' attendants.
The first thing Kaladin and Adolin agree on? Kaladin needs to learn how to fight a Shardbearer properly. The second thing they agree on? Shallan is a pain in the ass.
The majority of Lift's interlude, especially how she refers to her Surgebinding as awesomeness and how her spren is an exasperated mentor complaining about how they sent him to mentor a child instead of a wiser, older person.
That Lift uses her incredible powers and thieving skills to break into wealthy houses and eat their food, having no interest in their spheres or other valuables.
The description of the Edgedancers in the chapter 46 epigraph ends with 'also, they were the most articulate and refined of the Radiants.' Then when we meet Lift she has lines such as "I'm so storming pure I practically belch rainbows." Her Spren was clearly hoping for someone closer to the description.
Every time Kaladin comes across Lopen in the camp, he's brought yet another cousin into Bridge Four.
There's something giggle-worthy about Renarin explaining his illness to Kaladin. He clearly doesn't expect a bridgeman bodyguard to have any medical knowledge.
Renarin: I've a blood weakness. Kaladin: That's a folk description of many different conditions. What do you really have? Renarin: I'm epileptic. It means— Kaladin: Yes, yes. Is it idiopathic or symptomatic? Renarin: Uh... Kaladin: Was it caused by a specific brain injury, or is it something that just started happening for no reason? Renarin: I've had it since I was a kid. Kaladin: How bad are the seizures? Renarin: They're fine. It's not as bad as everyone says. It's not like I fall to the ground and froth like everyone thinks. My arm will jerk a few times, or I'll twitch uncontrollably for a few moments. Kaladin: You retain consciousness? Renarin: Yeah. Kaladin: Myoclonic, probably. You've been given bitterleaf to chew? Renarin: I...yes. I don't know if it helps. The jerking isn't the whole problem. A lot of times, when it's happening, I get really weak. Particularly along one side of my body. Kaladin: Huh. I suppose that could fit with the seizures. Have you ever had any persistent relaxation of the muscles, an inability to smile on one side of your face, for example? Renarin: No. How do you know these things? Aren't you a soldier? Kaladin: I know some field medicine. Renarin: Field medicine...for epilepsy?
After Kaladin is released from prison for accusing Amaram of murder and theft, he finds out Adolin insisted on staying imprisoned for the same length of time. It's a beautiful, heartwarming moment...and then Kaladin gets a whiff of his smell.
Kaladin: Are you wearing cologne? Adolin: Of course! Just because I was in prison was no reason to act like a barbarian.
Hoid momentarily forgets about Roshar's distinct flora and fauna:
Wit: Perhaps a story for a child. I will tell you one, to get you in the mood. A bunny rabbit and a chick went frolicking in the grass together on a sunny day. Kaladin: A chick...baby chicken? And a what? Wit: Ah, forgot myself for a moment. Sorry. Let me make it more appropriate for you. A piece of wet slime and a disgusting crab thing with seventeen legs slunk across the rocks together on an insufferably rainy day. Is that better? Kaladin: I suppose.
Most of Wit's conversation with Jasnah at the end of the book.
Jasnah: I don't have time for you. A storm is coming, a terrible storm. It will bring the Voidbringers to- Wit: Already here. Jasnah: Damnation. We need to find Urithiru and- Wit: Already found. Jasnah:(hesitates) The Knights- Wit: Refounded. In part by your apprentice who, I might add, is exactly seventy-seven percent more agreeable than you are. I took a poll. Jasnah: You're lying. Wit: Okay, so it was a rather informal poll. But the ugly lizard-crab-thing gave you really poor marks for— Jasnah: About the other things. Wit: I don't tell those kinds of lies, Jasnah. You know that. It's what you find so annoying about me.
Kaladin begins getting trained in riding by a female stablemaster. Adolin comes by, and she begins throwing rocks at him. Apparently he has in fact offended literally every eligible female in the camps.
Kaladin realizes something horrifying.
Storming lighteyes. He... He was one of them now. Storm it!