Celeste: Momma, are you listening to me? The new Math teacher is a vampire!
Moon: Oh, don't worry about it.
Celeste: DON'T WORRY ABOUT...!?!
After Celeste is kidnapped, Dani finds that school has changed.
For the first time since Dani had started school, Anahita did not yell at the students if they made the slightest mistake - even though, if some jokers were to be believed, Transylvania had relocated to America, and Sapporo to South Korea.
And what makes it even funnier is the way it's worded: you'd think that "some jokers" deliberately said those things.
The InGEN meeting and how it keeps going off topic.
Jackson: We're going off topic again! Since it seems we can't reach an agreement by discussing it, how about we take a vote? All who think Miss Tamari should not be told the truth, raise your hand.
Twenty-two hands shot up, Denzel's among them. Autumn gave them all death glares.
Jackson: All who think Miss Tamari should be told, raise your hand.
(InGEN) HQ had sent (Jackson) a Mount Everest of paperwork to fill out and return to them. Jackson had taken one look at the pile and suddenly developed a severe headache that left him incapable of completing them, so Lacey was having to do his job.
Jackson giving everyone a final briefing before Dani leaves.
Jackson: The plane leaves at nine-fifteen and we have to pick David up too, so fair warning: anyone who attempts to sleep in will get a saucepan of water emptied over them.
Sirius and Christian's breakfast is full of funny moments.
Christian: I'm going to clear out the attic today.
Sirius: You've given yourself quite a job. If you look long enough through that attic, you'll probably find an account of the Battle of Hastings written by a contemporary.
Not long afterward:
Christian held his hands up in a gesture that implied he was unarmed and defenseless, and it would be unsporting of his brother to throw anything at him, whether it was a plate or a cup of hot coffee.
Christian shrugged, accepting defeat, and went back to pouring himself a cup of tea.
Sirius: I believe I'll take a short trip to New York in a few days' time.
Christian found out the hard way that gasping and swallowing at the same time was not a good idea.
While getting off the plane, Dani mixes her suitcase up with the suitcase of a random person who's been annoying David for the whole flight.
Obnoxious person: Oi, you ***ing bitch! That's my ***ing suitcase! Do you ***ing hear me?
He could probably be heard on Vampiru, and he certainly drew the unfavourable attention of every passenger on the plane. David wondered if he would be allowed to shapeshift into some large, dangerous animal. Perhaps a giant cobra.
Christian: Well, before you go, could you tell Marvin McGinty to -
Sirius: Go to hell?
Sirius: Would you mind doing something for me?
Christian: Such as...?
Sirius: Such as packing my suitcase.
Sirius made his escape in the midst of his brother's angry swearing.
Any time Christian and Sirius are in the same scene, expect hilarity to ensue.
Dani: I am Danielle Tamari, daughter of Niall and Janice Tamari, granddaughter of Daniel and Saorise Tamari. [...] But everyone calls me Dani.
Arthur Brennan is not having a good day:
The door to [Arthur's] office was hurled open and hit the wall with a resounding crash, and he looked up with a presentiment that his day was about to get even worse.
Too his surprise, the people who entered were not InGEN officers come to warn him Earth was about to be consumed by a supernova or police officers to tell him the Statue of Liberty had been stolen and was last seen flying over Buckingham Palace.
In Vlad's first appearance, he's watching the 1968 film of Dracula. That's right; Dracula is watching Dracula.