- "Silence, Village Idiot!"
- Apparently Dr. Crowe likes to talk like Dr. Seuss when he's drunk.
- "I wonder if she has to pee when she's working. Do you think she just holds it?"
- Malcolm understandably doesn't take kindly to his wife seeing another man.
Malcolm: Keep moving, cheese dick.
- From the same scene, Anna can't deal with the Amish because "you can't curse or spit around them".
- The Stylistic Suck cough syrup commercial. Even more hilarious is when Cole throws his boot at the TV.
Lynn: (In a flat, dull voice) Cole.
- When Malcolm accidentally swears in front of Cole, and Cole's subsequent calling him out on it.
Malcolm: You don't have to go your whole life believing that. It's bullshit. Come on.(They walk)Cole: You said the "S" word.Malcolm: Yeah... I know. Sorry.
- There's something just subtly humourous about Bobby's Oh Crap! moment when he reacts to Cole's "hang people" line. The way he quickly snaps his head back and his offended face is at least chuckle-worthy.
- When Cole overhears his mum talking about his Chuck E. Cheese incident. His ensuing "fuck off, mum" facial expression is priceless.
- Malcolm's "magic penny" trick. Cole just gives him a withering stare.
Cole: I didn't know you were funny.
- This gem is either this, Nightmare Fuel or a mix of the two.
Cole: STUDDERING STANLEY, STUDDERING STANLEY, STUDDERING-Dr. Cunningham: SHUT UP, YOU FREAK!!